Posts
Friday, July 2, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
such a tease
my brain synapses are so overloaded a while ago.
in a random sense of jumbled emotions, it felt being stabbed again and again till i bleed to death.
abysmal old miseries suddenly resurfaced.
got my heart broken for a couple of times.
the intense emotion had caused me to respond to cataclysmic thoughts at exactly the opposite manner logic might dictate.
i let loose of some tears..
deym. what those bastards did really hurt a lot.
they registered on my richter scale as pure trauma.
i was agitated at the mere thoughts of those miseries. it gets more jagged as i dig deeper into those pains, seemed to incite in me a shiver of thousand fears.
so i shed my last tear and decide to leave the commotions in my mind, and enter into silent reckoning of my heart...
and all those thoughts seem to fade into a blur... slowly melting away into an indistinct mass of fading strokes..
such a tease...
i tumble back to reality and collapse into arranging my own interior closet... climbing down the ladder into my own stillness.
in a random sense of jumbled emotions, it felt being stabbed again and again till i bleed to death.
abysmal old miseries suddenly resurfaced.
got my heart broken for a couple of times.
the intense emotion had caused me to respond to cataclysmic thoughts at exactly the opposite manner logic might dictate.
i let loose of some tears..
deym. what those bastards did really hurt a lot.
they registered on my richter scale as pure trauma.
i was agitated at the mere thoughts of those miseries. it gets more jagged as i dig deeper into those pains, seemed to incite in me a shiver of thousand fears.
so i shed my last tear and decide to leave the commotions in my mind, and enter into silent reckoning of my heart...
and all those thoughts seem to fade into a blur... slowly melting away into an indistinct mass of fading strokes..
such a tease...
i tumble back to reality and collapse into arranging my own interior closet... climbing down the ladder into my own stillness.
Same old Thursday morning, same old super traffic, just a new president today.
It's hard to be the one who stays. Why has he gone where i cannot follow?
(naipit lang ako sa traffic. lols)
and this is what i'm clicking with the hand break pulled up.
Took me an hour unlike the usual 30min drive to the office. Sigh.
Same old Thursday morning, same old super traffic, just a new president today.
God bless the Philippines.
and Noynoy too.
(naipit lang ako sa traffic. lols)
and this is what i'm clicking with the hand break pulled up.
Took me an hour unlike the usual 30min drive to the office. Sigh.
Same old Thursday morning, same old super traffic, just a new president today.
God bless the Philippines.
and Noynoy too.
CHILDREN'S MOON
Dark cloudy nights had enveloped the sky the past two nights and i kinda miss my friend. Yes, i miss my moon.
The moon, now in waning gibbous phase, had missed me also. So it presented itself during daytime, visible to my naked eyes in this bright and sunny morning.
Moon: Hey my Lois, I'm just right up here.
Lois: My heart tumbles with so much joy upon seeing you in daytime my friend :)
Insanity aside, the moon can be seen in daytime any time of the week after a full moon. It will be at its last quarter phase on the 4th of July (just a day after Lai's natal day). July 11 shall be marked by the NEW MOON, and since the big three (the moon, the sun and the Earth) shall be on a line, the moon as it crosses the sky with the sun shall not be visible to our eyes. That's a lota reading. Haha.
If we shall look at the daytime moon at the same time of the morning, we can see that it ascends higher and higher up into the sky all week long. A reader in Kansas City call the daytime moon as "Children's moon," stemming from the idea that children can't stay late enough at night to see the moon when it is only visible in the darkness. Alternate version for the origin of the name was also told, saying that it was called as such because the children's eyes were sharp enough to pick it out, where the old folks, with fading vision, could not tell it from the clouds.
Man i was glad my fading vision could still see the children's moon.
(did a lot of reading from www.earthsky.org)
The moon, now in waning gibbous phase, had missed me also. So it presented itself during daytime, visible to my naked eyes in this bright and sunny morning.
Moon: Hey my Lois, I'm just right up here.
Lois: My heart tumbles with so much joy upon seeing you in daytime my friend :)
Insanity aside, the moon can be seen in daytime any time of the week after a full moon. It will be at its last quarter phase on the 4th of July (just a day after Lai's natal day). July 11 shall be marked by the NEW MOON, and since the big three (the moon, the sun and the Earth) shall be on a line, the moon as it crosses the sky with the sun shall not be visible to our eyes. That's a lota reading. Haha.
If we shall look at the daytime moon at the same time of the morning, we can see that it ascends higher and higher up into the sky all week long. A reader in Kansas City call the daytime moon as "Children's moon," stemming from the idea that children can't stay late enough at night to see the moon when it is only visible in the darkness. Alternate version for the origin of the name was also told, saying that it was called as such because the children's eyes were sharp enough to pick it out, where the old folks, with fading vision, could not tell it from the clouds.
Man i was glad my fading vision could still see the children's moon.
(did a lot of reading from www.earthsky.org)
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Got my hands dirty
Got my hands dirty.
Literally.
and my uniforms too.
dahil ngayong hapon.. ang prinsesa ay isang ganap na magbabakal na puno ng grasa.
trabaho trabaho trabaho
:D
this is life.
Do not be ungrateful
Today, before you say an unkind word,
Think of someone who can't speak.
Before you complain about the taste of your food,
Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife,
Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.
Today, before you complain about life,
Think of someone who died too early on this earth.
Before you complain about your children,
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.
Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep,
Think of the people who are living in the streets.
Before whining about the distance you drive,
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
And when you are tired and complain about your job,
Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.
But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another,
Remember that not one of us is without sin.
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down,
Put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still around. And you can still put yourself in the loving mercies of the Savior.
from: http://franciskong.com/inspiration/with-eyes-but-cannot-see/
Think of someone who can't speak.
Before you complain about the taste of your food,
Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife,
Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.
Today, before you complain about life,
Think of someone who died too early on this earth.
Before you complain about your children,
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.
Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep,
Think of the people who are living in the streets.
Before whining about the distance you drive,
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
And when you are tired and complain about your job,
Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.
But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another,
Remember that not one of us is without sin.
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down,
Put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still around. And you can still put yourself in the loving mercies of the Savior.
from: http://franciskong.com/inspiration/with-eyes-but-cannot-see/
cobbling up the melancholy verses
My dad is returning back to the desert in a couple of hours.
I was asked to handle an AutoCad class on a Saturday sked.
I was coping with survival, insomnia, loneliness, and others of that ilk.
I only have the moon to listen to my rants and raves.
etc. etc. etc.
"The world always crashes in on us. The news is often bad. But always - at the same time - the lovely, the laughable, the gentle, the solitary, and the creative ways of being human are also in play and engaged." - Robert Fulghum
I was asked to handle an AutoCad class on a Saturday sked.
I was coping with survival, insomnia, loneliness, and others of that ilk.
I only have the moon to listen to my rants and raves.
etc. etc. etc.
"The world always crashes in on us. The news is often bad. But always - at the same time - the lovely, the laughable, the gentle, the solitary, and the creative ways of being human are also in play and engaged." - Robert Fulghum
Monday, June 28, 2010
be faithful to the sky
One of the great things about becoming a stargazer is that you make a lifelong friend:
the sky itself.
It’s a friend that lives right next door.
And like any friend, the sky changes in subtle ways from day to day and year to year.
So, once you start watching it, be patient. You can’t learn everything about your friend at once.
Be persistent.
Watch the sky a lot and watch regularly.
You’ll learn by looking!
And you’ll make a connection with nature that’ll last your whole life long.
-http://earthsky.org/astronomy-essentials/getting-started-2
the sky itself.
It’s a friend that lives right next door.
And like any friend, the sky changes in subtle ways from day to day and year to year.
So, once you start watching it, be patient. You can’t learn everything about your friend at once.
Be persistent.
Watch the sky a lot and watch regularly.
You’ll learn by looking!
And you’ll make a connection with nature that’ll last your whole life long.
-http://earthsky.org/astronomy-essentials/getting-started-2
The moon connects you to everybody on the planet
The moon connects you to everybody on the planet, because, generally speaking, we all see the moon at the same phase. The moon’s orbit around Earth is regular and predictable. So the moon waxes and wanes in our sky in a way that’s about as satisfyingly regular and predictable as anything on Earth can be.
-http://earthsky.org/astronomy-essentials/getting-started-2
-http://earthsky.org/astronomy-essentials/getting-started-2
The full moons have names corresponding to the months of the year
January: Old Moon, or Moon After Yule
February: Snow Moon, Hunger Moon, or Wolf Moon
March: Sap Moon, Crow Moon or Lenten Moon
April: Grass Moon, or Egg Moon
May: Planting Moon, or Milk Moon
June: Rose Moon, Flower Moon, or Strawberry Moon
July: Thunder Moon, or Hay Moon
August: Green Corn Moon, or Grain Moon
September: Fruit Moon, or Harvest Moon
October: Harvest Moon, or Hunter’s Moon
November: Hunter’s Moon, Frosty Moon, or Beaver Moon
December: Moon Before Yule, or Long Night Moon
Source:
Guy Ottewell’s Astronomical Calendar
One of the best astronomical calendars in existence!from: http://earthsky.org/astronomy-essentials/full-moon-names
METEOR SHOWER GUIDE
too excited for the meteor showers :) reminds me of the french vanilla :D
http://earthsky.org/tonightpost/astronomy-essentials/earthskys-meteor-shower-guide
http://earthsky.org/tonightpost/astronomy-essentials/earthskys-meteor-shower-guide
Sunday, June 27, 2010
worth the wait
worth the wait. thought i won't be able to capture it. misplaced my en-el9, set up of my manual zoom took me a lot of time, and almost lost the moon behind the dark clouds. have to wait for quite some time... and yebaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh... there you go my friend. indeed the moon is a friend for the lonesome to talk to :)
manual macro 80-200, f22 3s, june 27, 2010, 10pm
manual macro 80-200, f22 3s, june 27, 2010, 10pm
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
DEAR DAD
Dear Dad,
I am deeply sorry if I can't be the daughter you want me to be.
If for some obvious reasons, I can't even meet your highest expectations, I sincerely apologize from the bottom of my heart.
Maybe it's the time and distance that separated us to what you all want us to become.
It's not easy being your daughter.
God knows how i tried to be the best in everything to give you honor and pride. We may not have parallel opinions on everything, but you have all my admiration for everything that you believe. I do not know if i have lived well the days that passed on me, but sure enough, all the days of my life have been lived with love and respect to you as my father.
You were gone for more than three quarters of my life. During those times, i have established my own life, my own habits, my own beliefs, but striving hardest still to be at least a good daughter a parent would always want to have. I have refrained from doing things that could easily blotch our family's escutcheon.
It's just that my life is a game that is not easy to play with.
Life plays cruel tricks on us.
I am filled with so much compassion, that i cannot provide our family a luxurious life. I know that you have yielded us to some of the luxuries that you want us all to have. More's the pity, i feel even more remorseful, that even at this point in my life, i earn a meager salary, too paltry in order for me to give my family at least a more decent life.
If it had not been for the cross that i am carrying right now, i could support our family financially.
I am struck with too much pain as your criticism grew plentiful and strident. I was even asking myself, scrutinizing further, if there's any good that i had done even once in my life.
Was it my fault that i got tied to this malady?
Is it fairly wrong that i stayed under our roof even at this point in my life?
I am trying very hard to live a couple of notches better than your expectations.
But i guess... i failed.
And i am sorry dad.
I am deeply sorry if I can't be the daughter you want me to be.
If for some obvious reasons, I can't even meet your highest expectations, I sincerely apologize from the bottom of my heart.
Maybe it's the time and distance that separated us to what you all want us to become.
It's not easy being your daughter.
God knows how i tried to be the best in everything to give you honor and pride. We may not have parallel opinions on everything, but you have all my admiration for everything that you believe. I do not know if i have lived well the days that passed on me, but sure enough, all the days of my life have been lived with love and respect to you as my father.
You were gone for more than three quarters of my life. During those times, i have established my own life, my own habits, my own beliefs, but striving hardest still to be at least a good daughter a parent would always want to have. I have refrained from doing things that could easily blotch our family's escutcheon.
It's just that my life is a game that is not easy to play with.
Life plays cruel tricks on us.
I am filled with so much compassion, that i cannot provide our family a luxurious life. I know that you have yielded us to some of the luxuries that you want us all to have. More's the pity, i feel even more remorseful, that even at this point in my life, i earn a meager salary, too paltry in order for me to give my family at least a more decent life.
If it had not been for the cross that i am carrying right now, i could support our family financially.
I am struck with too much pain as your criticism grew plentiful and strident. I was even asking myself, scrutinizing further, if there's any good that i had done even once in my life.
Was it my fault that i got tied to this malady?
Is it fairly wrong that i stayed under our roof even at this point in my life?
I am trying very hard to live a couple of notches better than your expectations.
But i guess... i failed.
And i am sorry dad.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
WEEKEND MADNESS
I was working my ass off on a Sunday, from 7am to 5pm.
On my way home, i was recounting the things that happened in my life for the past months.
Teary-eyed, i was revving the gears a bit harder, when my eyes got caught in a beautiful cloud formation, and a rainbow.
Oh well, God's reminding me that there's always a rainbow after a big blow.
:)
God help me.
On my way home, i was recounting the things that happened in my life for the past months.
Teary-eyed, i was revving the gears a bit harder, when my eyes got caught in a beautiful cloud formation, and a rainbow.
Oh well, God's reminding me that there's always a rainbow after a big blow.
:)
God help me.
Friday, June 18, 2010
despising friday
It's not always TGIF.
There still exist reasons why i despise Friday.
And Oh I'd love to have an automatic car.
Uhhhmmmnnn....
not an automatic car maybe...
just a..
driver.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
WHITE BERRY FROZEN YOGURT
WHITE BERRY YOGURT WITH KIWI AND RASPBERRY TOPPING
nag-agawan pa kami ni bulilai. hahahaha.
BACK TO SCHOOL
Teaching is leaving a vestige of one self in the development of another. And surely the student is a bank where you can deposit your most precious treasures. ~Eugene P. Bertin
am back to my pen, whiteboard and calculator.
i need a lot of energy
fueled by my passion.
here i come!
To teach is to learn twice. ~Joseph Joubert, Pensées, 1842
so when you don't see me around, it's because i'm with my trigonometry and solid mensuration formulas and equations.
am back to my pen, whiteboard and calculator.
i need a lot of energy
fueled by my passion.
here i come!
To teach is to learn twice. ~Joseph Joubert, Pensées, 1842
so when you don't see me around, it's because i'm with my trigonometry and solid mensuration formulas and equations.
SAIF
A sword is a weapon. The art of swordsmanship is learning how to kill.That is the truth. What Miss Kaoru says is sweet and innocent talk that only those whose hands have never been stained with the blood of men can believe. But, to tell you the truth, I much prefer Miss Kaoru's sweet and innocent talk over the truth, inde ...ed I do! (Himura kenshin, Samurai X)
Ring a bell my dear Ustajdz?
Ring a bell my dear Ustajdz?
Braincells.. disengaged!
Heya.
I got my test results after four days of waiting.
I got my car after a week of confinement to Mang Crispin.
And zilcho message from the superhero. (in a very impt confe?) nah. just kidding. Must be the ADHD in me. Crappiness at its finest.
Anyways, yesterday, i was clutched by depressing emotions that i cannot find the right words to say. I failed at learning to stay still and enduring a bit of whip without whining.
What has happened to me yesterday?
LOLS.
I once again felt the supreme rock-bottom feeling, that of which had been gnawing at me like a rat over the years, digging perforations in my soul.
Inconvenient truths. Carrying the cross all alone.
Every single day lived is one day closer to my death, every single step closer to my tomb.
Why does my clock tick so fast?
I got my test results after four days of waiting.
I got my car after a week of confinement to Mang Crispin.
And zilcho message from the superhero. (in a very impt confe?) nah. just kidding. Must be the ADHD in me. Crappiness at its finest.
Anyways, yesterday, i was clutched by depressing emotions that i cannot find the right words to say. I failed at learning to stay still and enduring a bit of whip without whining.
Braincells.. disengaged!
What has happened to me yesterday?
LOLS.
I once again felt the supreme rock-bottom feeling, that of which had been gnawing at me like a rat over the years, digging perforations in my soul.
Inconvenient truths. Carrying the cross all alone.
Every single day lived is one day closer to my death, every single step closer to my tomb.
Why does my clock tick so fast?
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
gimme a night to fix myself
gotta rest earlier. will keep my mouth shut.
am just a bit ....
SAD
:(
am sorry for the weakling in me.
gimme a night to fix myself.
am just a bit ....
SAD
:(
am sorry for the weakling in me.
gimme a night to fix myself.
Monday, June 14, 2010
DEAL
It's a deal. I'm learning something new each day.
>>> On June 3, 1571, Sulayman led his troops and attacked the Spaniards in a decisive battle at the town of Bangkusay, but they were defeated, and Sulayman himself was killed. With the destruction of Sulayman's army and the friendship with Rajah Lakandula, the Spaniards were enabled to establish throughout the city and its neighboring towns.
>>> On June 3, 1571, Sulayman led his troops and attacked the Spaniards in a decisive battle at the town of Bangkusay, but they were defeated, and Sulayman himself was killed. With the destruction of Sulayman's army and the friendship with Rajah Lakandula, the Spaniards were enabled to establish throughout the city and its neighboring towns.
prejudice
Pains me to realize that prejudice against Muslims is very strong, even here in the office :( The distorted view results to hasty generalization, tsk tsk.
blah blah blah blah
me working on a legal holiday. hihi.yep. triple treat. triple pay.. err, more than triple pay.
my right arm is aching :( must be due to the improper extraction last fri, tracing a patch of internal hemorrhage on the area of puncture.
sweetie: still confined :(
sad sad sad
my right arm is aching :( must be due to the improper extraction last fri, tracing a patch of internal hemorrhage on the area of puncture.
sweetie: still confined :(
sad sad sad
Sunday, June 13, 2010
weekender
not much buzz.
i got busy with life :D
i missed the shuttle bus last fri and this prompted me to skip work that very same day. i can still remember the conversation i had with my boss last thurs:
lois: sir pa sign po, half day po ako, punta po ako sa mekaniko, andun pa po kotse ko e
boss: half day? natapos mo na ba ung pinapagawa ko syo?
lois: opo. nasa engg-data sir. filename: ref for sir rey
boss: *checks the file* subukan mo kayang ilagay as details sa kabilang categories?
lois: ok po sir. gagawin ko po. uhhmmmnn... sir..pede pong pa sign na? *time check: 9:50am*
boss: tapusin mo muna yan bago mag 11 ha.
lois: yes sir. tapos po yan :D *big evil grin*
boss: papasok ka ba bukas?
lois: OPO sir. Papasok po ako!
i was too lazy for a toxic commute to office that friday morning.
sorry boss :D i'll bear the whip tomorrow. bwahahahaha
so instead of working my ass in the forging company, i got my serum examined. gotta know the results in days to come. praying for better ones :D
saturday. i got my wireless flash trigger present from kuya bong during the nikon club philippines shoot at splendido. (yipeeeeeeeeeeeee. wala naman ako flash gun. gotta save up for one) i miss my kuya bong, we never had the chance to talk at least a little longer, he has to leave earlier for another workshop in makati. sad :(
sunday. whew. am overworked at home. it rained harder the night before so me and my sister had to clean the house, especially the flooded kitchen :( we spent a couple of hours cleaning the mess, while cooking for lunch. (aha, you gotta try my dish :D hehe) i had to run to the drugstore in the afternoon for my meds, had a chat with jojit over a lasagna meal, went to church, scan the books on sale at a bookstore (looking for digital photographer philippines #32 pa din.. hahaha) and stopped for a quezo real ice cream trip at 7-11.
ahh life. spins so fast i can barely catch up. gotta live my life everyday as if it was my last. :D
will work my ass off tomorrow on a more than triple legal holiday rate.
just one more look at this pic before i end this week.
ps. still haven't got my sweetie. missing my car much much much.
i got busy with life :D
i missed the shuttle bus last fri and this prompted me to skip work that very same day. i can still remember the conversation i had with my boss last thurs:
lois: sir pa sign po, half day po ako, punta po ako sa mekaniko, andun pa po kotse ko e
boss: half day? natapos mo na ba ung pinapagawa ko syo?
lois: opo. nasa engg-data sir. filename: ref for sir rey
boss: *checks the file* subukan mo kayang ilagay as details sa kabilang categories?
lois: ok po sir. gagawin ko po. uhhmmmnn... sir..pede pong pa sign na? *time check: 9:50am*
boss: tapusin mo muna yan bago mag 11 ha.
lois: yes sir. tapos po yan :D *big evil grin*
boss: papasok ka ba bukas?
lois: OPO sir. Papasok po ako!
i was too lazy for a toxic commute to office that friday morning.
sorry boss :D i'll bear the whip tomorrow. bwahahahaha
so instead of working my ass in the forging company, i got my serum examined. gotta know the results in days to come. praying for better ones :D
saturday. i got my wireless flash trigger present from kuya bong during the nikon club philippines shoot at splendido. (yipeeeeeeeeeeeee. wala naman ako flash gun. gotta save up for one) i miss my kuya bong, we never had the chance to talk at least a little longer, he has to leave earlier for another workshop in makati. sad :(
sunday. whew. am overworked at home. it rained harder the night before so me and my sister had to clean the house, especially the flooded kitchen :( we spent a couple of hours cleaning the mess, while cooking for lunch. (aha, you gotta try my dish :D hehe) i had to run to the drugstore in the afternoon for my meds, had a chat with jojit over a lasagna meal, went to church, scan the books on sale at a bookstore (looking for digital photographer philippines #32 pa din.. hahaha) and stopped for a quezo real ice cream trip at 7-11.
ahh life. spins so fast i can barely catch up. gotta live my life everyday as if it was my last. :D
will work my ass off tomorrow on a more than triple legal holiday rate.
just one more look at this pic before i end this week.
photographing the photographers
SMILE!!!
goodnight and have a blessed week ahead!
goodnight and have a blessed week ahead!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
N.O.W. Productions
Had a fun shoot with my sister at the N.O.W. Productions studio of Kakosang Raymie last night. Call this me and my sister's peace talk after a scornful exchange of conversations and heated arguments the past few days. hehe.
Thanks so much to Kuya Raymie and Ate Joji of N.O.W. Productions! Visit their site at:
http://www.photosbytoji.vze.com
http://nowphotography.webs.com
photo by ate joji
hair design by ate joji
make-up by lai
hair design by ate joji
make-up by lai
Thanks so much to Kuya Raymie and Ate Joji of N.O.W. Productions! Visit their site at:
http://www.photosbytoji.vze.com
http://nowphotography.webs.com
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
blabber blabber
I got sweetie confined to Mang Crispin's den until further notice. That would be until i have enough moolah to shell out. Hahaha. Poor me.
I kinda miss my sweetie for the hours that passed. I comfort myself with the thought that this is way better than gambling my life through the snares of death. Sentimental me. Boo.
This sentimentality refreshes me with the thoughts on the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism which i have studied a year ago. (walang basagan ng trip. duh)
No connection. It just slipped through mah mind. haha. blabber blabber.
-workmode-
I kinda miss my sweetie for the hours that passed. I comfort myself with the thought that this is way better than gambling my life through the snares of death. Sentimental me. Boo.
This sentimentality refreshes me with the thoughts on the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism which i have studied a year ago. (walang basagan ng trip. duh)
The Four Noble Truths
1. Life means suffering.
2. The origin of suffering is attachment.
3. The cessation of suffering is attainable.
4. The path to the cessation of suffering.
1. Life means suffering.
2. The origin of suffering is attachment.
3. The cessation of suffering is attainable.
4. The path to the cessation of suffering.
No connection. It just slipped through mah mind. haha. blabber blabber.
-workmode-
I enjoyed the Shuttle bus ride this morning.
OH well. I gotta admit. I enjoyed the Shuttle bus ride this morning.
I just had to get off the bed a little earlier than the usual and move faster to catch the bus. I arrived 15 minutes before the pick up time, and got to enjoy a few minute humorous chats with April. Sitting comfortably on the bus while listening to the Priscila Ahn's songs played on my ever beloved psp is very relaxing while passing through the greenery of SLEX and Eton Road. Arriving earlier at the office had me the luxury of time to even have breakfast with some nice office mates. For a fraction of an hour, it felt like this world is a fine place to be, and whatever woes i had yesterday had been momentarily forgotten or at least put on perspective.
Oh life.
I just had to get off the bed a little earlier than the usual and move faster to catch the bus. I arrived 15 minutes before the pick up time, and got to enjoy a few minute humorous chats with April. Sitting comfortably on the bus while listening to the Priscila Ahn's songs played on my ever beloved psp is very relaxing while passing through the greenery of SLEX and Eton Road. Arriving earlier at the office had me the luxury of time to even have breakfast with some nice office mates. For a fraction of an hour, it felt like this world is a fine place to be, and whatever woes i had yesterday had been momentarily forgotten or at least put on perspective.
Oh life.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
TROUBLESHOOTING SWEETIE
Clunking noise at front on turning... could be CVJ problem.
Hmmmnnnn.
I really gotta bring it to Mang Crispin for all the safety reasons in the world.
Kuya Manny on night shift makes it even more difficult for me to process my car's troubleshooting. I'm doin it all alone... all alone as the strong heroine. hahaha.
Can't wait for 3pm.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Gotta squirm away from the distress of having my sweetie troubled.
Hmmmnnnn.
I really gotta bring it to Mang Crispin for all the safety reasons in the world.
Kuya Manny on night shift makes it even more difficult for me to process my car's troubleshooting. I'm doin it all alone... all alone as the strong heroine. hahaha.
Can't wait for 3pm.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Gotta squirm away from the distress of having my sweetie troubled.
Being Around
My song of the day. Deym. The lyrics really struck me. This best describes how i feel right now.
***********
I'm just tryin' really hard to make you notice me being around.
Uber miss ka na ni pareng Gardo. She just can't go on missing you always as told. She has to be strong... ayt?
Being Around
by Lemonheads
If I was in the fridge, would you open the door?
If I was the grass, would you mow your lawn?
If I was your body, would you still wear clothes?
If I was a booger, would you blow your nose?
Where would you keep it? would you eat it?
Im just tryin to give myself a reason, for being around.
If I was the front porch swing would you let me hang?
If I was the dance floor would you shake your thing?
If I was a rubber check would you let me bounce
Up and down inside your bank account?
Would ya trust me, not to break you?
Im just tryin really hard to make you,
Notice me being around.
If I was a haircut would you wear a hat?
If I was a maid, could I clean your flat?
If I was the carpet would ya wipe your feet,
In time to save me from mud off the street?
If you like me, if you love me,
Why dont you get down on your knees
And scrub me?
Im a little grubby
From just being around.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNvXRJQ0XDU
by Lemonheads
If I was in the fridge, would you open the door?
If I was the grass, would you mow your lawn?
If I was your body, would you still wear clothes?
If I was a booger, would you blow your nose?
Where would you keep it? would you eat it?
Im just tryin to give myself a reason, for being around.
If I was the front porch swing would you let me hang?
If I was the dance floor would you shake your thing?
If I was a rubber check would you let me bounce
Up and down inside your bank account?
Would ya trust me, not to break you?
Im just tryin really hard to make you,
Notice me being around.
If I was a haircut would you wear a hat?
If I was a maid, could I clean your flat?
If I was the carpet would ya wipe your feet,
In time to save me from mud off the street?
If you like me, if you love me,
Why dont you get down on your knees
And scrub me?
Im a little grubby
From just being around.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNvXRJQ0XDU
***********
I'm just tryin' really hard to make you notice me being around.
Uber miss ka na ni pareng Gardo. She just can't go on missing you always as told. She has to be strong... ayt?
Predictability and comfort are valid human longings
I could hear sweetie complaining more than ever, could feel some slippage at the rear parts, screeching more than the usual, I could barely step on the pedal out of extreme fear.
I hate doomsday. Hahaha. It's when i don't have enough inputs to neutralize some uncertainties that disrupt the smooth flow of my existence. Predictability and comfort, as they say, are valid human longings. But my life, as always, are bombarded by too many variables that make it so wildly unpredictable and uncomfortable. I hang onto it by a thread that would snap at any given moment, i alternate between placid anticipation of a new tomorrow and excessive emotions of threat, danger, pain or harm that shoo the daylights out of me.
Whatever gets me through the night.
and day.
I gotta do something to sweetie. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I hate doomsday. Hahaha. It's when i don't have enough inputs to neutralize some uncertainties that disrupt the smooth flow of my existence. Predictability and comfort, as they say, are valid human longings. But my life, as always, are bombarded by too many variables that make it so wildly unpredictable and uncomfortable. I hang onto it by a thread that would snap at any given moment, i alternate between placid anticipation of a new tomorrow and excessive emotions of threat, danger, pain or harm that shoo the daylights out of me.
Whatever gets me through the night.
and day.
I gotta do something to sweetie. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Monday, June 7, 2010
viruses
i suddenly realized i got three viruses in my life :) one in my pc, one in my fluid, and one in my heart. deym.
super heroine
I always find a good reason to open my umbrella when the rain starts pouring in.
I have to be a super heroine when i don't have a superhero around.
I have to be a super heroine when i don't have a superhero around.
Murphy's law had taken effect on me once again
Murphy's law had taken effect on me once again.
The power supply went out at 1pm in the company. I was about to go home at 7 but couldn't afford to stay until the cows come home, err, i mean until the power is restored.
So off i decided to go home at 3, just to realize that my fuel tank is empty. So i asked the guards for a refill, but was told that there's no electricity to run the pump.. so.. no fuel refill until the power is restored.
Checking my wallet, (hoping a miraculous yellow bill to pop) i found two 50-peso and one 100-peso bill. I was in dire financial crisis the past few weeks due to unforeseen unfavorable events that had consumed my savings. I was torn between spending the money for a fuel refill at the nearest Petron station and leaving the car inside the company. Poor me. Why does it always have to happen when i have none to spare. Sigh.
So i decided to let one 50-peso bill guard my wallet until payday, and opted to bring home my car with a meager gas replenishment. While i was driving home, i received a message from my sister, asking me to drive her and my father to SM to check on some bathroom accessories.
I almost fainted. Why of all holy days they chose to go NOW. Traffic is super heavy on a rainy day, my fuel is almost low, I've none for a refill.. Murphy's Law!!!! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Poor me
:(
The power supply went out at 1pm in the company. I was about to go home at 7 but couldn't afford to stay until the cows come home, err, i mean until the power is restored.
So off i decided to go home at 3, just to realize that my fuel tank is empty. So i asked the guards for a refill, but was told that there's no electricity to run the pump.. so.. no fuel refill until the power is restored.
Checking my wallet, (hoping a miraculous yellow bill to pop) i found two 50-peso and one 100-peso bill. I was in dire financial crisis the past few weeks due to unforeseen unfavorable events that had consumed my savings. I was torn between spending the money for a fuel refill at the nearest Petron station and leaving the car inside the company. Poor me. Why does it always have to happen when i have none to spare. Sigh.
So i decided to let one 50-peso bill guard my wallet until payday, and opted to bring home my car with a meager gas replenishment. While i was driving home, i received a message from my sister, asking me to drive her and my father to SM to check on some bathroom accessories.
I almost fainted. Why of all holy days they chose to go NOW. Traffic is super heavy on a rainy day, my fuel is almost low, I've none for a refill.. Murphy's Law!!!! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Poor me
:(
Get rid of hurry from your life.
John Ortberg said, “Hurry isn’t just a disordered schedule but a disordered heart.” I agree. Because of this, he says that our society is rich in things but extremely poor in time.
We don’t have time for family, for people, for relationships.
We don’t have time for ourselves—to reflect, to pray, to breathe, to rest, to enjoy God’s blessings now.
The solution? Learn to slow down.
Here are tips (some from me and some from John Ortberg) on how to remove hurry from our lives.
1. Deliberately drive in the slow lane on the expressway.
If you do this, you’ll arrive home perhaps ten minutes later. But you’ll be less angry, less stressed, and less tired. Here’s what you can do: Pray for all the cars that go ahead of you. Sing a song to God. Imagine God seated beside you.
2. Deliberately park at the farthest spot available in the parking lot.
Result? You won’t have to fight over the nearest parking spots; You won’t have to circle around for hours; and you’re giving your body exercise by the extra walk.
3. Deliberately choose the longest line in the grocery.
We usually look for the shortest. Do the opposite. Look for the longest line. You can be sure no one will fight you over it. Enjoy. Pray. Smile. Bless the people around you.
4. Deliberately chew your food slowly.
As my friend says, “Food is God’s love made edible.” So enjoy your food. Relish it. Savor the taste. It’ll help your digestion. More importantly, it’ll calm you. You’ll appreciate your food more. You’ll be more grateful to God for your food.
5. Deliberately put people before things.
“Waste” time with your loved ones. Laugh, play, and do nothing together. Learn the “art of being” as a group. Last week, I brought all the top leaders of Light of Jesus to the beach for three days. We played charades together. We looked pretty insane. It was wonderful. People ask me why Light of Jesus has remained strong after 30 years. One reason: We play a lot. We have 4 vacations a year!
6. Deliberately take time to enjoy God’s Presence alone.
Each day, spend ten, fifteen, or thirty minutes hanging out with God. Just simply be with Him. Just rest in Him. You can sit before the Blessed Sacrament. Or go under a tree or take a walk. God says, “Be still and know that I am God.”
7. Deliberately stop watching TV.
People watch an average of 4 hours of TV everyday. That means when you reach 65 years old, you would have spent 9 years of your life watching TV. You wake up one day and ask yourself, “Where did my life go?” Remember that failure is not an act but a habit. Instead of watching TV, read a book instead. Or hold an entertainment night as a family. Or sing together. Or take up a hobby. Or play a musical instrument. Or volunteer and serve God in a ministry.
8. Deliberately take lots of vacations.
People work non-stop all their life, retire at age 65, and take a long vacation. Usually, they drop dead after a few years. Because they lose their purpose. I’ll teach you a better way, and I’ve been practicing this for some years now: Take lots of mini-vacations now and never retire! I take about 10 small vacations a year, usually with family and friends. And I can’t retire because I’m not working. Both my ministry and business is just so much fun.
Don’t Ever “Wait” Again!
A lot of people just wait.
When we’re 8, we wait to be 13.
When we’re 13, we wait to be 18.
When we’re in school, we wait to get a job.
When we’re single, we wait to get married.
When we’ve got babies, we wait for them to grow up quick.
When we’ve got teens, we wait for them to mature.
When we’re working, we wait for our retirement.
But if you really live in your “Now”, you’ll never wait again in your life. We enjoy where we are.
When someone is late and says to you, “So sorry to keep you waiting,” you should say, “I wasn’t waiting. I was enjoying life. I was breathing in God’s love. I was living and happy and blessed.”
Of course, if you say that, people will think you’re kookoo or had shabu for breakfast.
But that is essentially what living in your “Now” is. You don’t really wait. Because waiting means you’re attention is focused on your future.
Not you. You’re attention is focused on your “Now”.
And you’re grateful for that “Now”.
Example?
If you’re single, don’t “wait” for a husband. Enjoy your singleness now. Embrace your freedom. Breathe in the blessings of God. Embrace His peace. Love His presence.
If you’re still childless, don’t “wait” for a baby. Enjoy your marriage now. Embrace your life today. Be blissful where you are.
If you’re still financially hard-up, don’t “wait” for prosperity. Be grateful for the prosperity you have now. And because gratitude attracts what you’re grateful for, this will attract more prosperity.
(excerpt from Bo Sanchez' Blog: How To Enjoy Your Life: Live In Your “Now”!
We don’t have time for family, for people, for relationships.
We don’t have time for ourselves—to reflect, to pray, to breathe, to rest, to enjoy God’s blessings now.
The solution? Learn to slow down.
Here are tips (some from me and some from John Ortberg) on how to remove hurry from our lives.
1. Deliberately drive in the slow lane on the expressway.
If you do this, you’ll arrive home perhaps ten minutes later. But you’ll be less angry, less stressed, and less tired. Here’s what you can do: Pray for all the cars that go ahead of you. Sing a song to God. Imagine God seated beside you.
2. Deliberately park at the farthest spot available in the parking lot.
Result? You won’t have to fight over the nearest parking spots; You won’t have to circle around for hours; and you’re giving your body exercise by the extra walk.
3. Deliberately choose the longest line in the grocery.
We usually look for the shortest. Do the opposite. Look for the longest line. You can be sure no one will fight you over it. Enjoy. Pray. Smile. Bless the people around you.
4. Deliberately chew your food slowly.
As my friend says, “Food is God’s love made edible.” So enjoy your food. Relish it. Savor the taste. It’ll help your digestion. More importantly, it’ll calm you. You’ll appreciate your food more. You’ll be more grateful to God for your food.
5. Deliberately put people before things.
“Waste” time with your loved ones. Laugh, play, and do nothing together. Learn the “art of being” as a group. Last week, I brought all the top leaders of Light of Jesus to the beach for three days. We played charades together. We looked pretty insane. It was wonderful. People ask me why Light of Jesus has remained strong after 30 years. One reason: We play a lot. We have 4 vacations a year!
6. Deliberately take time to enjoy God’s Presence alone.
Each day, spend ten, fifteen, or thirty minutes hanging out with God. Just simply be with Him. Just rest in Him. You can sit before the Blessed Sacrament. Or go under a tree or take a walk. God says, “Be still and know that I am God.”
7. Deliberately stop watching TV.
People watch an average of 4 hours of TV everyday. That means when you reach 65 years old, you would have spent 9 years of your life watching TV. You wake up one day and ask yourself, “Where did my life go?” Remember that failure is not an act but a habit. Instead of watching TV, read a book instead. Or hold an entertainment night as a family. Or sing together. Or take up a hobby. Or play a musical instrument. Or volunteer and serve God in a ministry.
8. Deliberately take lots of vacations.
People work non-stop all their life, retire at age 65, and take a long vacation. Usually, they drop dead after a few years. Because they lose their purpose. I’ll teach you a better way, and I’ve been practicing this for some years now: Take lots of mini-vacations now and never retire! I take about 10 small vacations a year, usually with family and friends. And I can’t retire because I’m not working. Both my ministry and business is just so much fun.
Don’t Ever “Wait” Again!
A lot of people just wait.
When we’re 8, we wait to be 13.
When we’re 13, we wait to be 18.
When we’re in school, we wait to get a job.
When we’re single, we wait to get married.
When we’ve got babies, we wait for them to grow up quick.
When we’ve got teens, we wait for them to mature.
When we’re working, we wait for our retirement.
But if you really live in your “Now”, you’ll never wait again in your life. We enjoy where we are.
When someone is late and says to you, “So sorry to keep you waiting,” you should say, “I wasn’t waiting. I was enjoying life. I was breathing in God’s love. I was living and happy and blessed.”
Of course, if you say that, people will think you’re kookoo or had shabu for breakfast.
But that is essentially what living in your “Now” is. You don’t really wait. Because waiting means you’re attention is focused on your future.
Not you. You’re attention is focused on your “Now”.
And you’re grateful for that “Now”.
Example?
If you’re single, don’t “wait” for a husband. Enjoy your singleness now. Embrace your freedom. Breathe in the blessings of God. Embrace His peace. Love His presence.
If you’re still childless, don’t “wait” for a baby. Enjoy your marriage now. Embrace your life today. Be blissful where you are.
If you’re still financially hard-up, don’t “wait” for prosperity. Be grateful for the prosperity you have now. And because gratitude attracts what you’re grateful for, this will attract more prosperity.
(excerpt from Bo Sanchez' Blog: How To Enjoy Your Life: Live In Your “Now”!
here's to lying, cheating, and stealing
May you never steal, lie or cheat.
But if you must steal... then steal away my sorrows.
And if you must lie... lie with me all the nights of my life.
And if you must cheat ... then please cheat death
because I couldn't live a day without you.
(from an Irish quote)
Sunday, June 6, 2010
mayday!
My cp is dead and my pc is virus-infected.
The receipt of my phone for the warranty claim is nowhere to be found here in our jumbled den. And i hate to reformat my pc, couldn't find where the installers are kept. Inconveniences of having a house renovation. Ggggrrr.
MAYDAY!
The receipt of my phone for the warranty claim is nowhere to be found here in our jumbled den. And i hate to reformat my pc, couldn't find where the installers are kept. Inconveniences of having a house renovation. Ggggrrr.
MAYDAY!
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Where flowers bloom so does hope.
Where flowers bloom so does hope.
- Lady Bird Johnson, Public Roads: Where Flowers Bloom
Don't let your camera catch these "birds"
Uh-oh.
Don't let your camera catch these "birds"
At f22, the dust particles lying in my camera sensor filter are clearly visible.
It takes good mechanical skills and a delicate touch to manually dry clean the sensor filter. Thanks Rey for the cleaning tutorial.
And thanks to the Southern Reflections Photography Club for the continuous sharing of knowledge and expertise.
Our next big event:
3rd Scott Kelby Worldwide Photowalk
Don't let your camera catch these "birds"
At f22, the dust particles lying in my camera sensor filter are clearly visible.
It takes good mechanical skills and a delicate touch to manually dry clean the sensor filter. Thanks Rey for the cleaning tutorial.
And thanks to the Southern Reflections Photography Club for the continuous sharing of knowledge and expertise.
Our next big event:
3rd Scott Kelby Worldwide Photowalk
Friday, June 4, 2010
Passion is energy
Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.
- Oprah Winfrey
eto ba un?
i super likey!
click click click
- Oprah Winfrey
eto ba un?
i super likey!
click click click
TRAVEL LIGHT
It is good to remember that in our life’s journey, it is best to travel light. No regrets. No living in the past. And no overly concern for the future. It will unfold as it unfolds. When we do this, timeless moments are most likely to happen.
-Jim Paredes (FOREVER AND ETERNAL - Humming in my Universe)
-Jim Paredes (FOREVER AND ETERNAL - Humming in my Universe)
LAGOT
I think i'm still sleepy 
Didn't get enough sleep. Too much brooding, plus the fact that the mosquitoes had feasted sucking virus-infested blood on my flesh. Whew.
I must have left my sanity under the sheets. I didn't see it coming, err, i mean, the left gate swaying with wind as i move backwards, and....
BINGO!
The gate hit my side mirror.
It was the gate's fault. He was swaying with the wind.
hahaha.
I whispered in a petrified tone... "LAGOT".
As if the world cares for the shocks endured by me and my sweetie.
ZOOOOOOMMMMMMM
Didn't get enough sleep. Too much brooding, plus the fact that the mosquitoes had feasted sucking virus-infested blood on my flesh. Whew.
I must have left my sanity under the sheets. I didn't see it coming, err, i mean, the left gate swaying with wind as i move backwards, and....
BINGO!
The gate hit my side mirror.
It was the gate's fault. He was swaying with the wind.
hahaha.
I whispered in a petrified tone... "LAGOT".
As if the world cares for the shocks endured by me and my sweetie.
ZOOOOOOMMMMMMM
Thursday, June 3, 2010
I'm catching the sun between rainshowers this morning
I'm catching the sun between rainshowers this morning. It's a love-hate relationship, intermittent rains battling with the great ball of fire. Inside, i feel an oriented banter of my mind and body, as my body insists on extended periods of rest over my mind wanting to be sharpened by the gazillions of jobs that i need to finish before 3pm.
BODY: I love the weather. Bring me back home and let's just sleep the whole day.
MIND: I need to study and plan this stockyard. I need to finish this. Double-time LOis!
I still have work, thank God, after my three-day absence. hahaha. I was missed, heck, by those who dutifully need my services. LOLS.
These are the normal inconveniences of unscheduled leave from work. You leave a hill of jobs on the last day you have been seen on your workstation, and come back to a mountain when you have been resurrected.
It was kind of funny to hear stupid remarks from my officemates regarding my unplanned work hiatus. To hear someone say, "Kung magreresign sya, mag clearance sya ng maayos... hindi ung absent sya ng absent.. tapos sa iba na pala pumapasok.." Holy cow, Holy banana, Holy guacamole, HOLY HOLY HOE!!! Heck, thanks a bunch for the unsolicited remarks, you've just wasted a minute fraction of your life thinking about my whereabouts. He's not my boss at all, i don't have any work-related connection to him. Hahaha. Pierced me with too much laughter why these people seem to be affected by my absence for reasons only them could decipher. If they only knew how my emotions went in disarray during my absence, i don't even wanna recall that effin' licensing renewal story =)) (BTW, i sent my boss a message informing me of my absence due to my misfortunes. So technically, it's not AWOL.)
Anyways, I'm halfway through the day and have been 70% productive since 7am. It's just that the endless assortments of odds and ends are tickling the very me, sorting through it once in a while is a bit amusing, provocative and reflective.
Ahhh life.
BODY: I love the weather. Bring me back home and let's just sleep the whole day.
MIND: I need to study and plan this stockyard. I need to finish this. Double-time LOis!
I still have work, thank God, after my three-day absence. hahaha. I was missed, heck, by those who dutifully need my services. LOLS.
These are the normal inconveniences of unscheduled leave from work. You leave a hill of jobs on the last day you have been seen on your workstation, and come back to a mountain when you have been resurrected.
It was kind of funny to hear stupid remarks from my officemates regarding my unplanned work hiatus. To hear someone say, "Kung magreresign sya, mag clearance sya ng maayos... hindi ung absent sya ng absent.. tapos sa iba na pala pumapasok.." Holy cow, Holy banana, Holy guacamole, HOLY HOLY HOE!!! Heck, thanks a bunch for the unsolicited remarks, you've just wasted a minute fraction of your life thinking about my whereabouts. He's not my boss at all, i don't have any work-related connection to him. Hahaha. Pierced me with too much laughter why these people seem to be affected by my absence for reasons only them could decipher. If they only knew how my emotions went in disarray during my absence, i don't even wanna recall that effin' licensing renewal story =)) (BTW, i sent my boss a message informing me of my absence due to my misfortunes. So technically, it's not AWOL.)
Anyways, I'm halfway through the day and have been 70% productive since 7am. It's just that the endless assortments of odds and ends are tickling the very me, sorting through it once in a while is a bit amusing, provocative and reflective.
Ahhh life.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
couchers
enjoying my new psp homebrew games.
i wish life is this simple.
and happy.
i miss the couch. i miss the mansion.
symbianize good times.
global.boyti.its4fun.margaux_sofya.shaneisha.battosai.tazzky.graysource.aquamarine.
always in my heart.
i wish life is this simple.
and happy.
i miss the couch. i miss the mansion.
symbianize good times.
global.boyti.its4fun.margaux_sofya.shaneisha.battosai.tazzky.graysource.aquamarine.
always in my heart.
Flowers seem intended for the solace of ordinary humanity
Flowers seem intended for the solace of ordinary humanity.
- John Ruskin
moving on. beep beep.
I am calm already :D
I got my license after going through the LEGAL process (WTF) of obtaining one. I spent my whole day at the LTO where effin' FIXERS are free to roam inside, where the sinners who all perish are clad in their most decent clothes. (IFKR?) Pity those whose pockets are empty, pity those whose souls don't know how to bribe (or have none to offer as a bribe), for they will remain until after office hours, after all those rich and lucky bastards have been VIP-served by the caboodle of money-faced WTFs.
Unlucky me. Ain't got a spare penny. I went through the tedious and epic hours of waiting (and letting go of my hard-earned cash for every move. deym. ang hirap maging dukha!!!)
Well, being a stickler that i am, i just can't help but rant on this rotten system that preys on the weakness of the poor citizens. Poor country, can never and will never get the hell out of this muck as long as the system stays on this obsolete and virus-infected version.
*****
I somehow did enjoy the epic adventure i had at the licensing center. For once, i have proven that a woman's presence in a male-dominated world is a glorious beacon of hope for the stressed ones. hahaha. I love it when men treat women with utmost respect, when men graciously entertain the women's concerns with breathtaking candor, rather than striking a line as if they were talking to promiscuous ones. Women are treated with utmost care, well maybe at least in our group, and it lessened our burden of wanting them all dead on the spot for the slow processing of our applications. Cheers to these men whose days we made brighter, whose smiles we made noticeable, and whose aura we made fantastic. May you all survive the sodom and gomorrah of our modern times.
*****
I'm tired. Weak. 3days absent. Tomorrow i gotta get back to work [if i still had one =))]
I got my license after going through the LEGAL process (WTF) of obtaining one. I spent my whole day at the LTO where effin' FIXERS are free to roam inside, where the sinners who all perish are clad in their most decent clothes. (IFKR?) Pity those whose pockets are empty, pity those whose souls don't know how to bribe (or have none to offer as a bribe), for they will remain until after office hours, after all those rich and lucky bastards have been VIP-served by the caboodle of money-faced WTFs.
Unlucky me. Ain't got a spare penny. I went through the tedious and epic hours of waiting (and letting go of my hard-earned cash for every move. deym. ang hirap maging dukha!!!)
Well, being a stickler that i am, i just can't help but rant on this rotten system that preys on the weakness of the poor citizens. Poor country, can never and will never get the hell out of this muck as long as the system stays on this obsolete and virus-infected version.
*****
I somehow did enjoy the epic adventure i had at the licensing center. For once, i have proven that a woman's presence in a male-dominated world is a glorious beacon of hope for the stressed ones. hahaha. I love it when men treat women with utmost respect, when men graciously entertain the women's concerns with breathtaking candor, rather than striking a line as if they were talking to promiscuous ones. Women are treated with utmost care, well maybe at least in our group, and it lessened our burden of wanting them all dead on the spot for the slow processing of our applications. Cheers to these men whose days we made brighter, whose smiles we made noticeable, and whose aura we made fantastic. May you all survive the sodom and gomorrah of our modern times.
*****
I'm tired. Weak. 3days absent. Tomorrow i gotta get back to work [if i still had one =))]
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
inhale. exhale. God bless me.
has slowly learned to exhale in slower speeds.
i need some kind of peace of mind.
it dawned on me that there is nothing i can do about the furious monstrosity of the past incidents in my life, including that of being scammed in a public document. hell hath no fury, but what else could i do but to correct, clear and clean my name, for crying out loud. and this translates to a three-day absence from work. 1 approved vacation and 2 days AWOL. deym. i really gotta inform my boss about the misfortunes that someone has gotten me into.
well, God must have been so vigilant in testing the patience in me. i could have killed that man who got me into this mess had he stepped an inch inside our perimeter.
but amidst all of these, there are indeed lessons to be learned. there's comfort in saying that there are no mistakes, only lessons, but i got to spank myself a couple of times in order to redeem that. the fundamentals of being human include trusting someone without any taint of doubt, and maybe, no one is to blame me for having done that. retribution indeed shall take its course in its own time. as for now, i really need to iron things out, legally, so as not to inflict any more trouble with my other public documents.
forgiveness. i gotta give more than what i could. 101%. and to be calm and still when confronted by situations like this.
inhale. exhale.
tomorrow is another day. may i be able to straighten things out ;)
God bless me.
i need some kind of peace of mind.
it dawned on me that there is nothing i can do about the furious monstrosity of the past incidents in my life, including that of being scammed in a public document. hell hath no fury, but what else could i do but to correct, clear and clean my name, for crying out loud. and this translates to a three-day absence from work. 1 approved vacation and 2 days AWOL. deym. i really gotta inform my boss about the misfortunes that someone has gotten me into.
well, God must have been so vigilant in testing the patience in me. i could have killed that man who got me into this mess had he stepped an inch inside our perimeter.
but amidst all of these, there are indeed lessons to be learned. there's comfort in saying that there are no mistakes, only lessons, but i got to spank myself a couple of times in order to redeem that. the fundamentals of being human include trusting someone without any taint of doubt, and maybe, no one is to blame me for having done that. retribution indeed shall take its course in its own time. as for now, i really need to iron things out, legally, so as not to inflict any more trouble with my other public documents.
forgiveness. i gotta give more than what i could. 101%. and to be calm and still when confronted by situations like this.
inhale. exhale.
tomorrow is another day. may i be able to straighten things out ;)
God bless me.
ggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrr
so absent ka na naman bukas lois?
ggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
3days na pag absent dahil sa kagagawan ng manloloko sa mundo.
i hate this so mux.
ggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
3days na pag absent dahil sa kagagawan ng manloloko sa mundo.
i hate this so mux.
drizzlers
it rained this morning and we got drenched in furious drizzle.
how's that for a morning welcome :)
>> off to LTO. babayooooooooooooo
how's that for a morning welcome :)
>> off to LTO. babayooooooooooooo
Monday, May 31, 2010
welcome me
Once in a while, i decide not to pollute this den with too much post-traumatic experiences. I go outside the world and feel the stronger turbulent waters forcing me to steer in a more stressful direction, rather than wallowing here in my only respite.
But more often, i couldn't find the equilibrium in my journeys, that i still have to run into this space and nurse all the remorse and pain that i couldn't contain.
:)
So welcome my drama with open arms.
:)
But more often, i couldn't find the equilibrium in my journeys, that i still have to run into this space and nurse all the remorse and pain that i couldn't contain.
:)
So welcome my drama with open arms.
:)
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
GOD'S MESSAGE FOR MY BIRTHDAY
Happy, happy Birthday!
On this same day some years ago, God brought into the world a wonderful child destined to love and be loved and do great things. Never forget your destiny. Never forget who you are!
This Wednesday, may you hear His voice in your heart!
26
May
Wednesday
---------
OUT OF SERVICE?
“Can you drink the cup that I drink or be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized?” – Mark 10:38
Oftentimes, we are like the two disciples in today’s Gospel who seem to be walking and talking with Jesus but are actually not listening to Him at all. They want the places of honor but are not willing to pay the price.
During prayer meetings, we sing that we want to give Him our hearts and souls but when the love offering basket is passed around, we can’t even give the Lord more than our smallest bill. We only want to give our heart and soul but not our money. Or, maybe while we are deeply worshiping and praying, we tell the Lord to have His way with us. We pray, “Speak Lord, Your servant is listening.” The Lord responds by whispering to our heart to give up a relationship that is not pleasing to Him. Suddenly, our heart becomes “deaf.”
When we enter into a relationship with God, we cannot choose what part we want to give or what part we want to take. We cannot love God without serving Him and we cannot choose how we want to serve Him. Definitely we can choose how we want to serve but that is not real love. Out of His great love for us, God gave us His very best… His only Son. Don’t you think it’s time we also give our very best to Him?Ronna Ledesma (ronnaledesma@email.com)
REFLECTION:
If God will call us now, will He hear, “The number you are calling is not yet in service”?
Lord, only by Your grace will we be able to follow You.
------------
1st READING
All of us must undergo a process of purification from all sin and be sanctified for union with Christ. This is a lifetime work, one that is ongoing at all times. It will only be fully accomplished when we “pass through” purgatory. Let us pray for the grace to cooperate with the Holy Spirit so that we can better prepare for the time of judgment at the end of our lives.
1 Peter 1:18-25
18 Beloved: Realize that you were ransomed from your futile conduct, handed on by your ancestors, not with perishable things like silver or gold 19 but with the precious blood of Christ as of a spotless unblemished lamb. 20 He was known before the foundation of the world but revealed in the final time for you, 21 who through him believe in God who raised him from the dead and gave him glory, so that your faith and hope are in God. 22 Since you have purified yourselves by obedience to the truth for sincere mutual love, love one another intensely from a pure heart. 23 You have been born anew, not from perishable but from imperishable seed, through the living and abiding word of God, 24 for: “All flesh is like grass, and all its glory like the flower of the field; the grass withers, and the flower wilts; 25 but the word of the Lord remains forever.” This is the word that has been proclaimed to you.
P S A L M
Psalm 147:12-13, 14-15, 19-20
R: Praise the Lord, Jerusalem.
12 Glorify the LORD, O Jerusalem; praise your God, O Zion. 13 For he has strengthened the bars of your gates; he has blessed your children within you. (R) 14 He has granted peace in your borders; with the best of wheat he fills you. 15 He sends forth his command to the earth; swiftly runs his word! (R) 19 He has proclaimed his word to Jacob, his statutes and his ordinances to Israel. 20 He has not done thus for any other nation; his ordinances he has not made known to them. Alleluia. (R)
G O S P E L
Today is the Feast day of St. Philip Neri, a very holy priest of Rome from a few centuries ago. He gave his life in the service of preaching the Gospel of God’s loving mercy and forgiveness. As we reflect upon the prediction of Jesus’ Passion today, let us open our hearts and embrace God’s forgiveness for our sins. Let us allow His grace to change our lives so that we will become more like Him.
Mark 10:32-45
32 The disciples were on the way, going up to Jerusalem, and Jesus went ahead of them. They were amazed, and those who followed were afraid. Taking the Twelve aside again, he began to tell them what was going to happen to him. 33 “Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be handed over to the chief priests and the scribes, and they will condemn him to death and hand him over to the Gentiles 34 who will mock him, spit upon him, scourge him, and put him to death, but after three days he will rise.” 35 Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to him and said to him, “Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you.” 36 He replied, “What do you wish me to do for you?” 37 They answered him, “Grant that in your glory we may sit one at your right and the other at your left.” 38 Jesus said to them, “You do not know what you are asking. Can you drink the cup that I drink or be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized?” 39 They said to him, “We can.” Jesus said to them, “The cup that I drink, you will drink, and with the baptism with which I am baptized, you will be baptized; 40 but to sit at my right or at my left is not mine to give but is for those for whom it has been prepared.” 41 When the ten heard this, they became indignant at James and John. 42 Jesus summoned them and said to them, “You know that those who are recognized as rulers over the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones make their authority over them felt. 43 But it shall not be so among you. Rather, whoever wishes to be great among you will be your servant; 44 whoever wishes to be first among you will be the slave of all. 45 For the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
my reflections
think: All of us must undergo a lifetime process of purification from all sin and be sanctified for union with Christ.
--------------
DEFINING GREATNESS THE WAY JESUS DOES
Here’s a typical mother: Mrs. Zebedee, the mother of James and John, very close friends of Jesus. She dares to ask Jesus that her two sons be made to sit beside Him in His heavenly throne. Notice the absence of any formalities or a polite tone in her request. It sounds more like a demand, not a request, and a claim rather than an appeal.
None of us have ill feelings against Mrs. Zebedee, I guess. If we do, then I suppose we should change the definition of motherhood.
My mother is my first fanatic. She believes in me even when I fail to believe in myself. I am her hero. And if she has the chance, she might also make the same request Mrs. Zebedee makes to Jesus today.
But there are only two seats beside the throne of Jesus. And Jesus cannot give those to James and John. The world is too small. It is even smaller for 12 men who may be interested in sitting on the same seats.
The other 10, however, according to Matthew (who is, by the way, one of them and therefore his word is reliable), are indignant with James and John because of their mother’s request that is complemented by their audacious claim that they can drink the cup that Jesus is going to drink. Should not Jesus be the One offended? But why the 10?
The 10 are indignant because they, too, have their eyes on those seats but only the two have the heart to claim it them for themselves. The world may praise James and John for their courage to own, express and pursue their dream, but Jesus has a different idea about it.
Jesus dreams greatness for all of them. But greatness to Him is directly contrary to that of the world’s: the higher one wants to reach, the lower he should bend. The greatest among Jesus’ disciples is the one who serves. He must also give His life for many. Only a life-giving service can make one the greatest.
We do not know if James and John sit on the left and right of Jesus in heaven today. It does not really matter for us to know, does it? If it does, then we have yet to learn defining greatness the way Jesus does.Fr. Bobby Titco
Reflection Question:
Does it really matter who sits on the immediate sides of Jesus? Why?
Son of God, You are God’s humble Servant, too. Help me to become like You. May I always find my joy in serving others as I would serve You. Correct my wrong views on greatness. Let me be great only in Your eyes. Amen.
Blessed Eva of Liege, pray for us.
On this same day some years ago, God brought into the world a wonderful child destined to love and be loved and do great things. Never forget your destiny. Never forget who you are!
This Wednesday, may you hear His voice in your heart!
26
May
Wednesday
---------
OUT OF SERVICE?
“Can you drink the cup that I drink or be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized?” – Mark 10:38
Oftentimes, we are like the two disciples in today’s Gospel who seem to be walking and talking with Jesus but are actually not listening to Him at all. They want the places of honor but are not willing to pay the price.
During prayer meetings, we sing that we want to give Him our hearts and souls but when the love offering basket is passed around, we can’t even give the Lord more than our smallest bill. We only want to give our heart and soul but not our money. Or, maybe while we are deeply worshiping and praying, we tell the Lord to have His way with us. We pray, “Speak Lord, Your servant is listening.” The Lord responds by whispering to our heart to give up a relationship that is not pleasing to Him. Suddenly, our heart becomes “deaf.”
When we enter into a relationship with God, we cannot choose what part we want to give or what part we want to take. We cannot love God without serving Him and we cannot choose how we want to serve Him. Definitely we can choose how we want to serve but that is not real love. Out of His great love for us, God gave us His very best… His only Son. Don’t you think it’s time we also give our very best to Him?Ronna Ledesma (ronnaledesma@email.com)
REFLECTION:
If God will call us now, will He hear, “The number you are calling is not yet in service”?
Lord, only by Your grace will we be able to follow You.
------------
1st READING
All of us must undergo a process of purification from all sin and be sanctified for union with Christ. This is a lifetime work, one that is ongoing at all times. It will only be fully accomplished when we “pass through” purgatory. Let us pray for the grace to cooperate with the Holy Spirit so that we can better prepare for the time of judgment at the end of our lives.
1 Peter 1:18-25
18 Beloved: Realize that you were ransomed from your futile conduct, handed on by your ancestors, not with perishable things like silver or gold 19 but with the precious blood of Christ as of a spotless unblemished lamb. 20 He was known before the foundation of the world but revealed in the final time for you, 21 who through him believe in God who raised him from the dead and gave him glory, so that your faith and hope are in God. 22 Since you have purified yourselves by obedience to the truth for sincere mutual love, love one another intensely from a pure heart. 23 You have been born anew, not from perishable but from imperishable seed, through the living and abiding word of God, 24 for: “All flesh is like grass, and all its glory like the flower of the field; the grass withers, and the flower wilts; 25 but the word of the Lord remains forever.” This is the word that has been proclaimed to you.
P S A L M
Psalm 147:12-13, 14-15, 19-20
R: Praise the Lord, Jerusalem.
12 Glorify the LORD, O Jerusalem; praise your God, O Zion. 13 For he has strengthened the bars of your gates; he has blessed your children within you. (R) 14 He has granted peace in your borders; with the best of wheat he fills you. 15 He sends forth his command to the earth; swiftly runs his word! (R) 19 He has proclaimed his word to Jacob, his statutes and his ordinances to Israel. 20 He has not done thus for any other nation; his ordinances he has not made known to them. Alleluia. (R)
G O S P E L
Today is the Feast day of St. Philip Neri, a very holy priest of Rome from a few centuries ago. He gave his life in the service of preaching the Gospel of God’s loving mercy and forgiveness. As we reflect upon the prediction of Jesus’ Passion today, let us open our hearts and embrace God’s forgiveness for our sins. Let us allow His grace to change our lives so that we will become more like Him.
Mark 10:32-45
32 The disciples were on the way, going up to Jerusalem, and Jesus went ahead of them. They were amazed, and those who followed were afraid. Taking the Twelve aside again, he began to tell them what was going to happen to him. 33 “Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be handed over to the chief priests and the scribes, and they will condemn him to death and hand him over to the Gentiles 34 who will mock him, spit upon him, scourge him, and put him to death, but after three days he will rise.” 35 Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to him and said to him, “Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you.” 36 He replied, “What do you wish me to do for you?” 37 They answered him, “Grant that in your glory we may sit one at your right and the other at your left.” 38 Jesus said to them, “You do not know what you are asking. Can you drink the cup that I drink or be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized?” 39 They said to him, “We can.” Jesus said to them, “The cup that I drink, you will drink, and with the baptism with which I am baptized, you will be baptized; 40 but to sit at my right or at my left is not mine to give but is for those for whom it has been prepared.” 41 When the ten heard this, they became indignant at James and John. 42 Jesus summoned them and said to them, “You know that those who are recognized as rulers over the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones make their authority over them felt. 43 But it shall not be so among you. Rather, whoever wishes to be great among you will be your servant; 44 whoever wishes to be first among you will be the slave of all. 45 For the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
my reflections
think: All of us must undergo a lifetime process of purification from all sin and be sanctified for union with Christ.
--------------
DEFINING GREATNESS THE WAY JESUS DOES
Here’s a typical mother: Mrs. Zebedee, the mother of James and John, very close friends of Jesus. She dares to ask Jesus that her two sons be made to sit beside Him in His heavenly throne. Notice the absence of any formalities or a polite tone in her request. It sounds more like a demand, not a request, and a claim rather than an appeal.
None of us have ill feelings against Mrs. Zebedee, I guess. If we do, then I suppose we should change the definition of motherhood.
My mother is my first fanatic. She believes in me even when I fail to believe in myself. I am her hero. And if she has the chance, she might also make the same request Mrs. Zebedee makes to Jesus today.
But there are only two seats beside the throne of Jesus. And Jesus cannot give those to James and John. The world is too small. It is even smaller for 12 men who may be interested in sitting on the same seats.
The other 10, however, according to Matthew (who is, by the way, one of them and therefore his word is reliable), are indignant with James and John because of their mother’s request that is complemented by their audacious claim that they can drink the cup that Jesus is going to drink. Should not Jesus be the One offended? But why the 10?
The 10 are indignant because they, too, have their eyes on those seats but only the two have the heart to claim it them for themselves. The world may praise James and John for their courage to own, express and pursue their dream, but Jesus has a different idea about it.
Jesus dreams greatness for all of them. But greatness to Him is directly contrary to that of the world’s: the higher one wants to reach, the lower he should bend. The greatest among Jesus’ disciples is the one who serves. He must also give His life for many. Only a life-giving service can make one the greatest.
We do not know if James and John sit on the left and right of Jesus in heaven today. It does not really matter for us to know, does it? If it does, then we have yet to learn defining greatness the way Jesus does.Fr. Bobby Titco
Reflection Question:
Does it really matter who sits on the immediate sides of Jesus? Why?
Son of God, You are God’s humble Servant, too. Help me to become like You. May I always find my joy in serving others as I would serve You. Correct my wrong views on greatness. Let me be great only in Your eyes. Amen.
Blessed Eva of Liege, pray for us.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
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