Sunday, February 28, 2010

and he was flying the whole night in my dreams...

and he was flying the whole night in my dreams... i almost don't wanna wake up...


Saturday, February 27, 2010

I am still in trance.

I just now realized how my morning mantra has been changed over this long course of waiting.

The usual Vedic hymn had been replaced unconsciously by my utmost desire to hear something, if not everything, as to what the hell happened to the protagonist of the comic book of my life. Whew.

I had been rationally fighting the instillation of these things in my subconsciousness, as i try my very best to keep myself occupied with various things that would highly divert my attention.

Hell, i don't know how to tame those provoking thoughts.

In my silent meandering, i still find myself amused with the euphoric thoughts of his presence, still giggling with our insanities, and still munching on sweet memories of yesterday. A damsel in distress was saved by a knight in shining armour. Aaahhhhh.. this is life.

I am still in trance.

I need to get back to my usual self.

10 Lessons I Learned from FarmVille


FarmVille is a Facebook game which allows members of the popular social network to plant, grow and harvest fruits and vegetables as well as raise animals on one’s virtual farm.

I only started playing FarmVille five days ago and, as of this writing, I am now at level 14 with 45,431 coins and 4248 XP. You can say that I am a dedicated farmer. Most of the animals and trees I own are gifts from fellow farmers. The more I play FarmVille the more I enjoy the real-time flash game. One time I had to reschedule my dinner to harvest my crops on time.


Here are ten lessons I learned while tending my virtual farm.

1. Growth takes time, effort, and lots of patience. You cannot hurry the crops. Or make your cows produce milk in seconds. Growth is neither sudden nor easy. It is a process which requires that one step be completed successfully before proceeding to the next.

2. There are always elements that will try to stifle your growth. In FarmVille you have to deal with leaves, weeds, and crows. I real life you have to deal with difficult situations and people who discourage you and try to pull you down.

3. But don’t worry about leaves, weed, and crows – your neighbors will always come to your aid. Look around, you are never alone. Believe in the goodness of others.

4. Helping others clean up leaves, scare off crows, or kill weeds not only give you extra coins and XP but also make you a better neighbor. Whenever I receive messages like this – “Hiya, Fr.! Just look at these leaves! Would you help me rake them up?” I always click “yes”. My main motive is not to gain more coins and XP but to return the favor to people who have also helped me keep my own farm clean and healthy.

5. The more gifts you give, the more gifts you receive.
This is true in FarmVille. This is also true in real life. It was Orison Swett Marden who said “We must give more in order to get more. It is the generous giving of ourselves that produces the generous harvest.”

6. If you don’t harvest on time, your plants will wither. Just as in FarmVille, to succeed in real life you have to do the right thing at the right time.

7. You can share your triumphs with others. In Farmville you can share your rewards in the form of bonuses. I know of some people who regularly check their Facebook feeds to see if any of their friends have recently won any ribbons. For there they will find the option to earn a bonus from them. The better the ribbon the more coins you will get.

8. You need to work hard to get what you want and need. Aside from plowing, planting and harvesting and dealing with leaves, weeds and crows, you also have to budget your time and coins. You also need to buy the right seeds, trees and animals for optimum profit. Believe me, it can be complicated. If you want to succeed in FarmVille you have to work hard. If you want to succeed in life you have to work harder. As David Bly puts it – “Striving for success without hard work is like trying to harvest where you haven’t planted.”

9. You do not become a Good Samaritan through a single act of kindness. You need to help other farmers hundreds of times before earning your Good Samaritan ribbon. In the same way, you do not become a good person just by doing one single act of goodness. You need to be a good person, a “good samaritan” repeatedly and consistently.

10. After a harvest there must plowing and sowing again. Such is life. The end of something is the beginning of another one. And I hope that as you complete one step in your life may you begin the next one as a person who has matured and learned his lessons. Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.

Friday, February 26, 2010


LOG IN: 7:30am

Clocked in late for work today. I got stuck in traffic at the Greenfield- Sta. Rosa-Tagaytay intersection. Apparently, stalled in the intersection was an image of collision of a delivery truck and a shuttle bus. I wasn't able to snap a pic of the incident, a very downside to being the master of the steering wheel when on the road.

not moving

With all the vehicles restlessly creeping and lined up bumper to bumper to pass the point of accident, i was also creeping like an anxious turtle, careful not to be side swiped by the relatively irresponsible shuttle buses who'd like to fallow their own roads irregardless of the situation.

Being stuck for quite a longer period has given me the luxury of time to reflect on the very incident that had gotten into me yesterday, at what i have considered the intersection of my life.

I was in the middle of the crossroad, confused, scared, yet brave enough to choose the path that i deem necessary, even if unsure i was if it was the right one. I amused myself by looking at the windows of tomorrow, that maybe, a bright future shall take place shall i decide to take a step outside my comfort zone. Pessimism is a thing bent out of shape while i am at the crossroad.

But all of a sudden, a thing happens, two things collide, and block the path that i chose. Where am i to go now?

Frankly, i do not know.

I stayed inside the bubble of my car and pose so many questions that i cannot answer. I seemed to look at the experience as a test to my mobility, an intriguing puzzle to be solved in the days to come.

I stand confused and scared at the intersection of my life.

But then, life has to move on. The cars have to roll and cross the intersection ever so slowly and carefully, with safety in their consciousness and the goal that they have to reach their destination. Things happen for their very own reasons, and for now, i can only rely on God's will as to where i would be led.

Thursday, February 25, 2010


Not just an ordinary day for me, but a make or break one.


God bless me.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

was i suppose to believe at all the rosy rhetoric?

was i suppose to believe at all the rosy rhetoric?


I realized i am kind of feeling numb lately.


Tuesday, February 23, 2010





The skies may be a bit grey clad, but the sun never failed to impress me. I had to stop and snap a morning blessing. God indeed has wondrous ways of brightening our gloomy days.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

live traffic feed


missing je :'(

Love Remains The Same

Love Remains The Same

a thousand times i've seen you standing
gravity like a lunar landing
make me want to run till i find you
shut the world away from here, drift to you, you're all i hear
everything we know fades to black

half the time the world is ending, truth is i am done pretending

i never thought that i had any more to give
pushing me so far here i am without you
drink to all that we have lost, mistakes we have made
everything will change, love remains the same

find a place where we escape
take you with me for a space
a city bus that sounds just like a fridge
walk the streets through seven bars
i had to find just where you are
the faces seen to blur they're all the same

half the time the world is ending, truth is i am done pretending

i never thought that i had any more to give
you're pushing me so far here i am without you
drink to all that we have lost, mistakes we have made
everything will change, love remains the same

so much more to say, so much to be done
don't you trick me out, we shall overcome
cause our love stays ablaze

we should have had the sun
could have been inside
instead we're over here

half the time the world is ending, truth is i am done pretending
too much time to love defending, you and i are done pretending

i never thought that i had any more to give
you're pushing me so far here i am without you
drink to all that we have lost, mistakes we have made
everything will change, everything will change

oh, i.........

this could last forever

oh, i........

we could last forever

love remains the same
love remains the same


when will i ever learn to smile again

Saturday, February 20, 2010

just get ur heart back

qq: Pot, depression is not something you have to get used to. Hindi yun isang hobby na
kinakasanayan. It's an illness that needs to be cured.

qq: I wouldn't say na naiintindihan ko pinagdadaanan mo, dahil hindi ko maiintindihan not unless
we share the same sickness. But, I'm here, your friends are there.. lots of them.. you know, its
an insult when you get so depressed with us around.

qq: Hindi nmn sa maghihintay ka, just get ur heart back.


I've gotten myself kind of addicted to feeding the entire raw meat between my ears. Am munchin' on peanuts, as it is loaded with a lot of protein to boost our brain functions.

Not that my brain is currently malfunctioning. But i am a bit worried that despite all the mechanical works this three-pound raw-meat motor has been doin, from breathing stimulation to blood transportation to protein traffic and all the chemistry and electricity it has been made to function, it has taken a halt into processing other thoughts than the superhero. Motor malfunction? Needs a rewinding?

Our brain is made up of entirely raw meat. One cubic centimeter of it contains ten billion bits of information, processed at five thousand bits a second. It contains all the information gathered over a period of time. The aroma of a freshly-brewed coffee, the stale oozing smell of the Japanese expats, the specific gravity of SKD61 metal, the face of the superhero when we first caught a glimpse at each other, the history of manila, the points of discussion of Koran and Holy bible, the pills that i take, how to drive my car, the songs of happiness and everything i do and will do that will pass through this lump. It is the most mysterious thing on earth.

I hate the idea that despite its general design of process information, it is now operating on a loose consensus, strategically working only on the projections of my heartbeats.


Maybe a peanut will do.

At least the happy one.

Friday, February 19, 2010


You have no idea what i am feeling right now :'(


silent witness: AFC Tree


Here For You

So you think you've got it all figured out
Well you know you can't make it alone
Everybody needs somebody to help them out
And you know I could be that someone
And if you ever get lost on life's highway
Don't know where to go
There's just one thing that I want you to know

I am here for you, always here for you
When you need a shoulder to cry on
Someone to rely on, I am here for you

So you think that love is long overdue
Tired of looking for someone to care
Let me tell you now the choice is up to you
But you know I will always be there

I am here for you, always here for you
When you're needin' someone to hold you
Remember I told you
I am here for you
I am here for you

So now you've got it all figured out
And you know you've found someone that cares
And if you ever need somebody to help you out
Well you know I will always be there

And if you ever get lost on life's highway
Don't know where to go
There's just one thing that I want you to know

I am here for you, always here for you
When you're needin' someone to hold you
Remember I told you
I am here for you,
I am here for you


Thursday, February 18, 2010



Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.
~Edna St Vincent Millay

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Balik Trabaho

Matapos ang dalawang araw ng pagliban sa trabaho ay balik na naman ako sa bakalan, dala ang malaking tinik sa dibdib na dulot ng pagkabagabag. **epistaxis**

Sinalubong ako ng tatlong plastik ng rosas na mula sa pinakamamahal kong mga kaibigan, aizel at arlyn. Salamat at may nakaalala sa akin noong araw ng mga puso. **epistaxis**

Sinalubong din ako ng inaasahang sanlaksang trabaho. Meron pa bang bago? **epistaxis**

Hindi ko na nakuhang makapag umagahan pa noong alas nwebe. Trabahong tapat kaagad. At nang ako ay magkaroon ng pagkakataong makapagkape man lang, ay bahagya pa nitong natapunan ang aking planner. Hmmmnn.. Choosy ang incident, namili pa ng espesyal na date.


Mamaya kukunin ko na si sweetie sa mekaniko.
Miss na miss ko na ang kotse ko.
Lalo na ang superhero :'(

Monday, February 15, 2010

the longest mile i've ever walked

the longest mile I've ever walked is the one away from you

"The examined life is no picnic."

"The examined life is no picnic."
- Robert Fulghum

Sunday, February 14, 2010



Thursday, February 11, 2010

Mou leipeis

Mou leipeis


ain't got any plan.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010


May spy cam na din sa engg building :-ss Say goodbye to plants vs zombies :-"

The installation of the spycams in the all the buildings of our company has been one of the many countermeasures against security threats being received by the latter. There had been numerous (all the while we have thought of as humorous, hehe) threats thrown at the company with the intention of inflicting injury, damage and other hostile actions. Some of these exist in the form of frank calls telling the receiver that a bomb shall explode inside. (Kaboom! that's the downside to not having a caller ID feature. tsk tsk) well, frankly, we were indeed laughing our asses off as we don't really know how real the bomb threat was or were they just referring to a magazine with all those you know.. voyeure.. left inside the company premises. Another thing was the impending eradication of all the files in the server. Whoah. And the Afternoon Bosses (Anong ingles sa tagalog sa afternoon? =))) were kind of "threatened" to this breach of security.

One thing leads to another. Sure enough, most fingers would point to the current labor dispute as the root cause for this kind of disturbance. Hmmmnn. As for my humble opinion, there are levels of naked judgments that elevate simple imaginings into obdurate conclusions. I dunno. Must be levels of deprivation that elevate desires or cravings into quixotic wants. I still dunno. (What the heck do i still know! @$#@##% =))

Anyways, i have no quibbles with those cameras being installed everywhere. (Here.. there.. and eeveryyyywheeeeeeeeere..) It just does feel like one of those housemates in Big Brother, you get watched 24/7 by whoever watches on that server.


020910 Sony DSCW130

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -

that myth is more potent than history.

I believe that dreams are more powerful than facts -

That hope always triumphs over experience -

That laughter is the only cure for grief.

And I believe that love is stronger than death.

Robert Fulghum
It Was On Fire When I Lay Down On It

Feasting on Robert Fulghum's wisdom.

The Time Of Times

The Time Of Times
Badly Drawn Boy

Oh, sweet morning
Is your head not right
Did you hear my warning
This is the time of times

And your head feels like your body
You mind is close behind
There’s a teardrop on your shoulder
Says this is the time of times
It’s the time of times again

This is the time of times
It’s the time of times again

Oh, sweet morning
And your head's not right
Did you hear my warning
This is the time of times

And your head feels like your body
Your mind is close behind
There’s a teardrop on your shoulder
Says this is the time of times
It’s the time of times again

The time of times
Yeah this is the time of times

*********Last Song Syndrome*********

Time of times indeed, was stuck in traffic for 3 quarters. Arrived at the office just in the nick of time. Time of times indeed.

The moon smiled at me this morning.

The moon smiled at me this morning.

020910 Sony DSC W130

Monday, February 8, 2010


When i am driven by forces beyond my control and understanding, too much drag in my mental and emotional machinery, all i need is just a little stretch to be able to shift into a gear that could handle the load.


"Leftovers in their less visible form are called memories. Stored in the refrigerator of the mind and the cupboard of the heart." - Robert Fulghum (Uh-oh: Some Observations From Both Sides Of The Refrigerator Door)

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Southern Reflections

Southern Reflections
De La Salle - Canlubang

Friday, February 5, 2010


Sometimes, I really get to the point when I no longer have the courage to stay in my current job. I just want to quit without even thinking what my life would be after i walked out of that door.


I just don't feel like stretching my patience to get through this day.

Wants to go home at 3pm.

Wallow in misery. Wallow in regrets. Wallow in everything i'd like to do.


Wash my clothes. Clean my mess. Clean my car. Eat all i could.

Photoshop. PC Suite. Vegas.


Brain Sync. Audiobooks.

Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.


Periodic oscillations of constant amplitude.

Sine Curve.

What a life.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

"Nagmamadali ka ba?"

Thursday bright morning, and i am speeding up to 130kph on SLEX. Not that I'll be late for work, in fact i am way too early, but pressing harder on the accelerator as a reflex for an epinephrine rush, being the adrenaline junkie me. Haven't done it for quite some time, either I'm saving up on fuel through efficient driving at 80-90kph, or i could fathom some internal voices asking me to slow down and drive safely because i am in no race.

Well not for today. I hear no blabber pleading me to stop my insanity, and i got my tank full yesterday.

There i go again with my vicious vice of CLICKING AND DRIVING. *big evil grin*

I just felt the need to be with myself. A feeling of unity, oblivion and mindlessness in the best sense of the word. Has someone forgotten my existence? Sigh.

Grope again for my pink W130 and ... CLICK.

Bright thursday morning. How many mornings will i ever have to wake again to find my superhero sitting on the passenger seat and pressing the shutter towards the powerlines embossed on a clear blue sky? As i revved the engine harder, i suddenly hear an utterance that wrung out of my perverted head... "Nagmamadali ka ba?"


It felt like being doused with a pail of water. Slowly, i raised my foot away from the accelerator, and began to slow down, as the greeneries flick past the windows.

And i am reminded that inside my very own car, i am being guided by the euphoric remnants of my dear superhero.

the knight has wings

who holds the key (chain) to my heart :P

meet my friends. named the big pink one DARYO >:)

Wednesday, February 3, 2010


I missed the moon, haven't seen it for the past two nights. Must be hiding behind the clouds, as the stars twinkle brightly in different hues. When will i ever get to soar again to ecstatic highs as i gaze at the wonders of the nights ornaments?


Scarecrow: I haven't got a brain... only straw.
Dorothy: How can you talk if you haven't got a brain?
Scarecrow: I don't know... But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking... don't they?
Dorothy: Yes, I guess you're right.

-The Wizard of Oz

My fuel gauge blinked empty this morning

My fuel gauge blinked empty this morning. My laziness has paid off as i pass on filling it for the last two days.

My fuel gauge, notoriously inaccurate as it is, makes me think that i have less fuel than i actually do. By the way, there's a technical reason to it's inaccuracy :D (see How Fuel gauges Work ) So off i stretched my car's mileage enough to reach my workplace, sometimes it blinked empty, sometimes it didn't. By the time i clocked in, the gauge stopped blinking and stayed on its empty signal. Super blessed me. Just in the nick of time.

More often, it feels like I'm running on an empty tank, with the signals flashing all together at a time. I often wonder how this happens with all the vast resources of God at my disposal, maybe because i get too lazy or ignorant of the things that could get me a better mileage at life.

Funny how i see my life in this fuel gauge. Reads empty but keeps on running. Do i view things notoriously inaccurate?



Tuesday, February 2, 2010


"na photoshop mo to no?"

He was referring to my sunrise pic last 0130.

"there are times when the moment itself while you are snapping the photo is what matters most than the array of colors your camera could take." - lois


Well, yeah, i did some post processing. But only to the removal of some dark spots due to my sensor that badly needs some cleaning. And the borders too.

But the picture itself?Ahh no. Never. Never shall i alter the natural beauty of sunrise. Ba't pa ko gigising ng madaling araw para maghabol ng golden hours kung pede ko naman gawin sa photoshop. WTF.


Napakahirap ng araw na 'to.


Kesa isipin ko kung gano kabigat ung nararamdaman ko.. ibabaon ko na lang ulit ang ulo ko sa trabaho.

Parang kulang pa ang 7-7 sked para sa TRO ng negative thoughts.

8 na kaya makauwi.

Para mas maganda ung sky. Mas madaming stars. Tapos takbo ako 130kph sa Eton. Swoosh. Sarap nun.

SUNRISE 020210

I have always been fascinated by nature's wonders, like a sun rising on a horizon while blooming in all its glory.

As i look forward to seeing the sunrise everyday, i can't help but immerse myself into its blinding rays, bathing me in its light that is seeping through my very eyes.

And the memory of that sunrise shall follow me throughout the day.

I Thank the Lord for another day.

Can't resist to snap a pic of the sunrise while driving my way to the office.
Eton Road, 020210, SOny DSCw130

Yep i know. Don't click and drive. But i just can't resist.

Monday, February 1, 2010


Align Center

Sedated excitements of domesticity.

I was killing time on a lazy monday afternoon (yep, im at work. haha) when i decided to scan my yahoo inbox and peek through my spam folder.

There seemed to be something interesting to one of the spam mails, as the subject reads "hi (sketches)" . I felt a rush of exaltation, as i discerned that this is something related to my blogsite SKETCHES, so there i was, the curious me, opened the email, and JARAN!!!

hi i cam across your blog when i search on bob ongs quotes i find you blog very interesting can i add you up on my la liga blog section sa blog ko? you can also add my blog on your list if you like. thanks willo wait for your reply.

I immediately clicked on the blogspot link and lo and behold, i was more than perplexed to discover an almost equal organism of my alien world.

I am not a proponent in splitting universes, but browsing through the blogger profile and his posts, it felt as if we were both in a translucent moment of different spaces. I had goosebumps really. It was as if i am looking straight in a mirror. Same movies, same books, same canon in d, same interests... all those things rang a hundred bells inside me.


Strange ne?

Made an effort to contact the blogger through the contact info he left on his email. I was given the opportunity to speak to him, (thanks for the virtual insanity) and told me that he felt exactly the same when he came across my sketches.

Sedated excitements of domesticity.

It felt home after my discovery that someone out there could co-exist in my own labyrinth of surprises, as i communicate my life and stories, my oddity, my stupidity and my whole heart and soul in my one and homey space... SKETCHES.