Thursday, July 29, 2010

anong kaguluhan ito?

anong kaguluhan ito?

posted by my dearest ate kims on my fb wall. missin' you so mux te kims.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010


the fight is over.
it has been a good one.
very tough indeed.

i lost the battle.

but i am happy with my decision.

i hope so.

heart attack

inhale.. exhale... it's getting harder each day. i could read and watch all the news about bombing and plane crash and kill myself out of heart attack... i know this won't be that easy.. *sigh*

Tuesday Treat

My morning Tuesday Treat is an almost full children's moon and a splendid landscape of a perfectly backlit Palace in the Sky. Such a sight to behold.

I miss my pink point and shoot because my sister hasn't returned it for a month. I took a shot using my crappy camera phone and lo and behold, it was epic fail.


Tuesday, July 27, 2010


For the past 5 years, been living with a lot more years with a lot less life. I just realized that this is the card that i have been dealt with, so i must accept my fate and let this life take its own course. I am not giving up, but submitting myself to His will. Life is too short to be doing the things that i am unhappy about, and i am no longer afraid to die. I am ready.

Monday, July 26, 2010

The Roundabout

Life is a wheel of changes
But changes are life
And someday we will have to say good bye
But our spirit will survive
Love is phasing
...Love is moving
To the rhythm of your sight
In the darkness I get closer
To the crossing point of light
Reason is lasting, passion is living
And dying is teaching us how to live

Enigma - The Roundabout

Sunday, July 25, 2010



Saturday, July 24, 2010


I was driving straight in my own lane as i slowly approach the Mamatid area where traffic is a vexation in one's spirit. As i slowly step on the break before i pass the intersection, a motorcycle suddenly cut me and the driver and the passenger wearing no helmet but black police-printed shirt angrily looked at me as if it was my greatest fault to be on the road. As i pass the Mamatid intersection, i saw the motorcycle driver right in the middle of the road and was gesturing at me to pull over. I stopped in the middle of the road so as not to kill him, and lowered my window when he approached me.

MEN IN BLACK PULIS-PULISAN UNIFORM: Miss muntik mo na ko madali ah
ME: Po? Nag swerve po kayo db? Nagmamaneho po ako ng diretso sa lane ko.
MEN IN BLACK PULIS-PULISAN UNIFORM: Oo nga, muntik mo na kami mahagip e. Tsk tsk. *sabay iling*
ME: Uulitin ko po, kayo po ang nag cut sa kin db, kayo po ang nag swerve, nagddrive po ako ng straight sa lane ko at dahan-dahan, hindi po ba ako nga ang muntik nyong mahagip?

*beep-beep. busina ng sasakyan sa likod*

MEN IN BLACK PULIS-PULISAN UNIFORM: Sa susunod mag dahan-dahan ka miss ha
ME: Sa susunod po, kayo po ang mag stay sa lane nyo. Wag po kayo mag swerve, at magsuot po kayo ng helmet. Bakit po ba kayo hindi naka helmet?!?



Friday, July 23, 2010


see you tomorrow morning 530am for the Scott Kelby's 3rd Worldwide Photowalk ^_^

Thursday, July 22, 2010

i need a model release ^_^

pineapple thursday! somebody posted my solo pics in her own album, all for the sake of everyone's scrutiny. damn, i look really bad at those pics... i need a model release ^_^

Irksome afternoon

Irksome afternoon. Annoys me the most when people can't distinguish personal versus work-related transactions. (Read: Don't disturb my peace by dialing my number when you need SOMEONE BESIDE ME or SOMEONE INSIDE THE ROOM. Call their own numbers instead, because my personal phone isn't sharing the purpose for your work-related transactions to others!)


Wednesday, July 21, 2010

NOW WHAT??!?!?!

hates it when my japboss calls my name. deym.
am afraid would blurt out a question as an answer .. "NOW WHAT??!?!?!"
happens a lot when my pinoyboss isn't around.

wanna go home.

toxicity at its finest.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

instant coffee mint flavor

i feel a rush of exaltation by drinking coffee right after brushing my teeth :D
especially when the toothpaste that got stuck in between my teeth had been momentarily removed by the sudden rush of coffee inside my mouth.

it's instant coffee mint flavor.



helluva blessings

One can find beauty in the ugliest situation when God surprises you with a helluva blessings :)

Thanks be to God.

Monday, July 19, 2010

I lost my voice yesterday morning

Lost my voice yesterday morning.



Friday, July 16, 2010

Had dinner with the moon

2nd floor.jolibee craze.



missing you.

much. much. much.

Sweet revenge

Oh well.

Sometimes, money is enough to bail us out in the inconveniences of processing a public document.

And what if i don't have that much to spare?

We get caught up in the frenzy of life and then realize that we still have much to learn.

Like processing my vehicle registration all by myself.

Sweet revenge.

The majestic Mt. Makiling view at LTO Calamba. Blessed be the fixers.

Thursday, July 15, 2010


Commute muna ng isang buwan.
Sakripisyo para sa tableta.


Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Such a catastrophe for a debilitated me.

It was just last night when i sat on a litany of indictment from my uncle. Staring blankly at the boob tube while having my uncle's emotions on loop, the weather reports barely escaped the trance and permeated my sanity. The storm Basyang is about to make its landfall in four hours, hitting the metro and even the south in signal no.2. But to where i sat, it seemed like i am being ravaged by a super typhoon packed with strong words that etched the deepest of my soul, moving at a rate of infinite time and speed, with his tautological utterance that puts me in hot water.

Such a catastrophe for a debilitated me.

The dark gathering night had the tails of the storm, raining kittens and puppies and wind blowing in all directions. I could learn to stay still and endure a bit more of my uncle's tedious recital, or squirmed away from the uncomfortable distress by braving the incoming storm outside and mingling my tears with the falling rain. I am clutched with too painful emotions that i cannot find the right words to say, so i found myself falling into a silence of collective respect.

My stillness was palpable.

There are just too many variables that make my life too complicated, yet challenging. My life has always been in complete shambles, and i am trying my very best to unplug myself from the unchanging barrage of inconsistencies. But what is unsettling is when a painful realization enters my very own reckoning, such that my existence isn't too much for a reason. I could blend into a blur and have the slightest impact in their lives, as they see me as an entity cobbled together with pieces of pills and capsules, living a littered life headed straight for the rocks. Such a looser me.

I can't blame myself if they see me as a repository of detestation. The ultimate context of role reversals in the unit of a society is predominantly concerned to providing for the needs including the luxuries of a member. Predictability and comfort are valid human longings, as they always say. This context, being magnificently broad in scope, has made the sub context of my own personal needs pitifully miniscule. Can't i be given the chance to live at least a little bit longer?

This has brought me again into too much brooding as the storm finally made its landfall. As the rain mercilessly pound in largest quantities and the winds began howling and swirling for seemingly indefinite hours, I pondered on the terrors of a life unlived well. I shed a tear, enough to drown my own soul into the abyss of oblivion.

Featuring a book on your bookshelf is akin to displaying a trophy.

Featuring a book on your bookshelf is akin to displaying a trophy. You’ve
accomplished something in reading a book; it feels like a victory. The
opportunity to display your literary conquests in unique or unexpected
ways is something I will greatly miss with e-readers.”
- The New Yorker’s The Book Bench on Bookshelf Porn

Tuesday, July 13, 2010


i need someone to change my rear left tire. im just too tired to do it on my own :'( somebody help me.

as i look at the moon, i become hairy


thanks to sir kiyota for the chockies :D

Monday, July 12, 2010


break time.5pm.cellphone camera. click.

Sunday, July 11, 2010


failed surprises hurt the most :'(

why am i too sappy here :'(

just wanna cry :'(


Not on the priority list.



what does french vanilla, beef stroganoff and iceberg have in common?


am crawling out of that melancholy hole.

help me.

Needs versus wants

Almost lost myself to that Crumpler Chumpy X_X The Pink Buffalo headset won :D Needs-versus-wants rules!

but i still want that Crumpler Chumpy :(


Test shots from Ricky Ladia's Creative Lighting Seminar

model: clariss

model: Lee


Was very fortunate to attend the Nikon Club Philippines Creative Lighting Seminar by Mr. Ricky Ladia yesterday. Learned a lot from him with his wits and technical expertise. Happier to be with old and new shutterbugs. Happiest to be given the opportunity to let them partake of my ...... SUPER ENSAYMADA! hahaha. Thanks to Kuya Ernie Campana for the advance info, to Rodel for the delicious banana chips, and to Kuya Arnel for the hitch.

Thanks also to my Southern Reflections during the DPP Event last week at Boni High Street. To Kuya Antz for the ride and the pass, to Sir Neilo for the ride back home, to my sister Jelsie for the utmost caring as always and to all SRs who made my day :) Lucky me to see some Arriba (and SYL) bloods in the venue, Marg, Holi and Jovy. The enthusiast me had been shot with a cupful of educational photography servings from the masters of this craft, Pilar Tuason, Raymund Isaac, Jay Jallorina, Jo Avila, Jay Tablante and Xander Angeles.

Above all, i offer my salute to the Great Grand Master, for allowing me to live each day amidst the malady that i am currently battling with. Thank you for allowing me to take more pictures and enjoy each moment of my life with your innumerable blessings.

True enough, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

blogger rehab

Blogger rehab for a number of days :D

I got too busy polishing things that need to shine :D hahaha. That's speaking literally, been polishing our floor, pots, shoes, car.... and etc. during my supposed to be idle times. Add to that the gravity of washing my graphite and grease- stained office uniforms. These are some forms of life skills that one needs to master as one perennially engages in life. Well, everything becomes generic after a while.


Thursday, July 8, 2010


This is what i got for rising up early..

The early lass gets the majestic reward.

Thank you God for a brand new day.
May you fill my day with blessings.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Earth farthest from sun for 2010 on July 6

Today, our planet Earth reaches its most distant point from the sun for this year.

Astronomers call this farthest point aphelion, and, at aphelion we’re about three million miles farther from the sun than we will be six months from now. That’s in contrast to our average distance from the sun of about 93 million miles. Looking for Earth’s exact distance from the sun today? It’s at 94,508,351 miles. Last year, on July 3, 2009, the Earth at aphelion was a tiny bit closer, at 94,505,048 miles away.

We’re always farthest from the sun in July during a northern hemisphere summer – and closest in January during a northern hemisphere winter – and that’s a good illustration of the fact that it’s not the Earth’s distance from the sun that creates the seasons on our world. Instead, the seasons result from Earth’s tilt on its axis. Right now, it’s summer in the northern hemisphere because the northern part of Earth is tilted most toward the sun.

Meanwhile, it’s winter in the southern hemisphere because the southern part of Earth is tilted most away from the sun.

Why isn’t the hottest weather on the year’s longest day?

So Earth’s varying distance from the sun doesn’t create the seasons. But it does affect the length of the seasons. That’s because, at our farthest from the sun, like now, Earth is traveling most slowly in its orbit. That makes summer the longest season in the northern hemisphere and winter the longest season on the southern half of the globe.

Conversely, winter is the shortest season in the northern hemisphere and summer is the shortest in the southern hemisphere – in each instance, by nearly 5 days.


This just hits me.
If the earth today is farthest from the sun, how far am i from the one that i love?
If it’s not the Earth’s distance from the sun that creates the seasons on our world, does it also hold true to the seasons of our hearts?


I have this extreme longing for je.
How i wish i could defy the distance.


Tuesday, July 6, 2010


I was unplugging myself from the constant barrage of desolation and discovering courage in the pit of depression while standing ankle-deep in the bog of nostalgia. Our lives are littered with flotsam and jetsam heading straight to knock us off as we perennially engage in the struggles of survival.

Oh well, I had Karate Kid in my mind as something to fill in my hours after my unsolicited schmaltz fades into a blur. I need something to maneuver my silly old self through the terrain of bleak and dismal emptiness that had been knocking me off the past few days.

After twin hours of freeing myself from the cares of the world in the dark of the gathering night, the credits of the feel-good Karate Kid (2010) movie finally rolled. Such a nice film.

For fear of spoiling the film for those who still haven't watched, i will just cobble together the though-provoking and inspirational lines i got myself infused.

* You only see with your eyes that is why you are easy to be fooled.

This idea springs in me the famous line of the Little Prince (St. Exupery) "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the naked eye". Nuff said.

* There are no bad students, only bad teachers.

I believe that the teachers in the pureness of their hearts are the most generous creatures here on earth, having the heart to give what they have, if not almost everything, all for the sake of their students. A student, in some ways or another, becomes a mirror of the mentor. I love the depth of relationship portrayed in the film between Mr. Han and Dre, and the transformation of that from being teacher/student to more of a father/son in one of the scenes.

Dre Parker: I get it. You're Yoda and I'm like a Jedi.

* Empty your mind. FOCUS. Your focus needs more focus.

A cluttered mind cannot achieve a great sense of balance, that is, focus. So one needs to control his/her own mental clutter, eliminate the stuff rattling in our head, and concentrate on the center of our interest.

Dre Parker: Be kinda hot if I won this thing, huh, Mr. Han?
Mr. Han: Be kinda hot if you focused.
Dre Parker: Yeah, well, after that.

* Mr. Han: You've already accomplished everything you wanted to. Why do you still want to fight?
Dre Parker: Because win or lose, I don't want to be afraid any more. And I'm still afraid.

This is about courage in conquering ourselves, whether win or lose, so we may emerge better than before.

* Sometimes the most important fights are the ones you avoid.

Happened to me a couple of times, as i ran off the battle field and ended up in the coldest circle of hell. (yep, but still in hell :D)

* Being still and doing nothing are two different things.

* Life will knock us down but we can choose whether or not to get back up.

The film made me laugh, cry, think. With its humor, warmth and theme of friendship and resiliency, it did appeal to me, in ways i could not imagine :)

I'm a sucker for martial arts film. haha.

Jacket on! Jacket off!

* I am thinking of a habit that could be my training ground for Kung fu. Hmmmnnn.. If old Karate Kid film has wax on, wax off, and the 2010 Karate Kid has jacket on, jacket off, what could probably be mine? Any suggestion?
* Does ice cream in China really taste delicious?
* I love the blue fire Mr. Han used to heal the wounds.

Oooppss. Too much info. Spoiler na ko. hahaha.

Monday, July 5, 2010


God made my friends His pipelines for blessings.
Thanks so much.

I felt really blessed.

God is good. All the time :)

Take Some Time

Take Some Time
by Leon Hansen

Take some time to smell the flowers. As you walk the paths of life.

Take some time to ease the tensions. From the challenges and the strife.

Take some time to hear the birds sing. As they usher in the dawn.

Though the day be just emerging. Too soon it will be gone.

Take some time to watch a sunrise. Now and then a sunset too.

Just be sure that seeking pleasure. Isn't all you ever do.

Take some time to count your blessings. Though you feel they're not that great.

You will find they're more abundant. Than you thought, at any rate.

Take some time to banish hatred. When and where you can.

Just detest man's evil ways. And not your fellow man.

Take some time to love your children. Every moment you are free.

The benefits sure exceed. A university degree.

Take some time to love your neighbor. And even more important still,

Take some time to love yourself. Or not many others will.

And if you don't like that image. Of yourself that others see,

Take some time to make some changes,. Be the best that you can be.

Take some time to help another. Who you think might need a hand.

You will find the satisfaction. Leaves you feeling sort of grand.

Take some time to live by virtue. In the best way that is known,

And respect the rights of others. As equal to your own.

Take some time to just appreciate. The fact that you are here,

And to know the risen Lord. And to trust Him without fear.

If you do these things with diligence. You will eventually be glad.

If you don't attempt to do them. You may one day wish you had.

Although this no doubt could impose. Upon your time for seeking wealth,

There should be little question. That it could improve your health.

And though you might not be as wealthy. Nor drive so fine a car,

You'll find you will be richer. In other ways by far.

By Leon Hansen , from A 6th Bowl of Chicken Soup for the Soul Copyright 1999 by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen


hanapin nyo ko :D

Saturday, July 3, 2010


Oooh, yr da wide wad. U puff me daddy bankroll. Yr the captain of clip. Yr the pash king of cash swing . . .You give me all the numbers in a little row and I call out, Blingo!


Friday, July 2, 2010


cloudy sky nights :( will have to wake up after midnight and try my luck in spotting the brightest star near the moon... which is .. jupiter :)


Tonight, i got hurt being judged by my own blood :(



not again

late for work again. traffic is horrendous.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

such a tease

my brain synapses are so overloaded a while ago.

in a random sense of jumbled emotions, it felt being stabbed again and again till i bleed to death.

abysmal old miseries suddenly resurfaced.

got my heart broken for a couple of times.

the intense emotion had caused me to respond to cataclysmic thoughts at exactly the opposite manner logic might dictate.

i let loose of some tears..

deym. what those bastards did really hurt a lot.

they registered on my richter scale as pure trauma.

i was agitated at the mere thoughts of those miseries. it gets more jagged as i dig deeper into those pains, seemed to incite in me a shiver of thousand fears.

so i shed my last tear and decide to leave the commotions in my mind, and enter into silent reckoning of my heart...

and all those thoughts seem to fade into a blur... slowly melting away into an indistinct mass of fading strokes..

such a tease...

i tumble back to reality and collapse into arranging my own interior closet... climbing down the ladder into my own stillness.

Same old Thursday morning, same old super traffic, just a new president today.

It's hard to be the one who stays. Why has he gone where i cannot follow?
(naipit lang ako sa traffic. lols)

and this is what i'm clicking with the hand break pulled up.

Took me an hour unlike the usual 30min drive to the office. Sigh.

Same old Thursday morning, same old super traffic, just a new president today.

God bless the Philippines.
and Noynoy too.


Dark cloudy nights had enveloped the sky the past two nights and i kinda miss my friend. Yes, i miss my moon.

The moon, now in waning gibbous phase, had missed me also. So it presented itself during daytime, visible to my naked eyes in this bright and sunny morning.

Moon: Hey my Lois, I'm just right up here.
Lois: My heart tumbles with so much joy upon seeing you in daytime my friend :)

Insanity aside, the moon can be seen in daytime any time of the week after a full moon. It will be at its last quarter phase on the 4th of July (just a day after Lai's natal day). July 11 shall be marked by the NEW MOON, and since the big three (the moon, the sun and the Earth) shall be on a line, the moon as it crosses the sky with the sun shall not be visible to our eyes. That's a lota reading. Haha.

If we shall look at the daytime moon at the same time of the morning, we can see that it ascends higher and higher up into the sky all week long. A reader in Kansas City call the daytime moon as "Children's moon," stemming from the idea that children can't stay late enough at night to see the moon when it is only visible in the darkness. Alternate version for the origin of the name was also told, saying that it was called as such because the children's eyes were sharp enough to pick it out, where the old folks, with fading vision, could not tell it from the clouds.

Man i was glad my fading vision could still see the children's moon.

(did a lot of reading from