Friday, March 17, 2017

Her majesty

Tuesday, March 7, 2017


Last night, i can't really pinpoint the quandary i am in, and the ambivalence i feel in the face of it. There's not much to talk it out, and i chose to sleep away with it.

Monday, March 6, 2017


Another work week to fulfill.

I still haven't set my self on-board blogging again, and that my thoughts are going way of out of wack in expressing it organized.

Friday, March 3, 2017

Not much to expect, but a lot to accept.

Not much to expect, but a lot to accept.

Thoughts could brim until they overflow.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

The Nearness of You

It's not the pale moon that excites me
That thrills and delights me
Oh no, it's just the nearness of you.


Monday, February 20, 2017


So this afternoon, i decided to walk down the memory lane and read my blog entries way way back many pounds ago.

It sure brought smiles and tears. Looking back, it felt comfortable pouring everything in this space. It also kinda makes me sad that i do not have the luxury of time now to do this all over again.

But who knows, maybe tomorrow again?

Tuesday, April 21, 2015


It's been donkey's years. Quite not sure if I'll be resurrecting this den, or will have a total revamp for pushing the stark reality to the surface of consciousness.

Let's just see :)

Sunday, December 1, 2013



Sent from my iPad

Wednesday, June 26, 2013


i never meant to desert this home. i was just out, exploring other means of survival.

Sunday, June 16, 2013


i miss you blog.

i'll be back

Thursday, June 13, 2013


Monday, May 20, 2013



Friday, April 26, 2013

Always in a limbo

April seems to pass by so quickly and i am barely six nights away from my favorite month of all months.
Haven't had any plans yet on how to get through this, as this would come in sheer anticipation and vague refusal in equal measure. The coming of my natal day marks my greatest existence that i almost lost about a decade ago, when i found out that i have to live with a malady for the rest of my life.  The coexistence has costs me a life that i wouldn't want my love ones to experience. I have journeyed to the deep-seated corners of despair and have braved the storms to feel even just a tiny speck of sunshine. And i am always reminded of this when a number is to be added to the years of my existence.

Always in a limbo.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

enchanting morning

There's so much about life that i don't understand. Most of the times, the simplest things are the most difficult to comprehend. Foremost, the difficult things are those that seep through the bottom and prick where the flesh is fresh and exposed.

To counter the feeling of confusion and uneasiness, i just enjoy every single moment that flicks in the theater of my life. No matter how hard it is to comprehend, it's the feeling of having something to comprehend that delights me the most. Life is not life if there's no mystery involved.

The greatest mystery is that there's not enough room to contain His love for us despite of all the life's hardest questions that we pose to Him. Despite of all the hardships and challenges that we face, we still wake up to beautiful mornings and that alone is the greatest of all the greatest mysteries to name.

It's indeed an enchanting morning.

Sunday, April 21, 2013


Crumpler Kransky

Welcome to my heart.
You want freedom, not limitations. Continuous cargo space, not contiguous compartments. To carry a load, not carry on about how to load it. Welcome then to the 100% pure lo fi simplicity of The Old Banger and Kransky duffle bags – population you.

Right-sized for sports of all sorts, the gym, pool, beach, one-nighters or anything involving a seven figure ransom in unmarked notes, these zippered hold-a-lots pack away 45 litres of stuff with seek and ye shall find convenience. They also feature a handy internal zippered utility pocket, plus an external zippered pocket with integrated key ring.

There goes the junkie in me.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

If Only by Dave Matthews Band

"If Only"
Dave Matthews Band

Oh yeah
Some days it's so easy
Sometimes I forget how
Much I want you back again
Back again

Well maybe it's a game
You win some and you lose some
But when you've found a good one
Don't you let her get away
Don't let her go

Oh yeah
If only I could have you
Just the way I want you
Oh, to have you back again
Back again baby

Oh, I'm just a fool baby
Playing Mr. Cool baby
Rolling round like I got nothing much to lose
But I know you and you know me
And I know you can see
So help me find my way back to you
Back to you

Walking past your window
You used to smile and throw
Your sweet kisses back to me
Back to me

Oh yeah
Remember when I asked you
If you'd be my one true
It seems like yesterday
Just like yesterday

Oh yeah, and I'm just a fool baby
Playing Mr. Cool baby
Rolling round like I got nothing much to lose
But I know you and you know me
And I know you can see
So help me get my way back to you
Back to you

I want you so take me back please
Take me back my baby

If only I could have you
Just the way I want you

I'm just a fool baby
Playing Mr. Cool baby
Rolling round like I got nothing much to lose babe
But I know you and you know me
And I know you can see
So help me get my way back to you

I want you so take me back please
Take me back my baby

If only I could have you
Just the way I want to
Just the way I was

You get your heart broken with a slight hint of ignorance.

You get your heart broken with a slight hint of ignorance.

I know i always do. The broken heart thingy. I have been keeping this for myself, and last night was just too much. 

I cannot contain it. I know i could have blurted out what this pumping unit has been keeping all those silly times, but i just couldn't. It wouldn't be right. So for the nth time, i just have to keep it to myself and witness how it will all go down the drain, without anyone knowing it.

I will never have the courage to say what i really want to. My actions will always speak for me, and however and whatever it is interpreted, it will be my only contentment.

I will always care.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Kill Joy

It's so confusing at times to pinpoint what i am nursing between the two: the malady or my existence.

Most of the times, i am so blinded by the consequences of this malady that i missed out on the glitter of my existence. Obvious times when i would just wallow in the darkest corner and prohibit interaction with known species. Hibernation to non-existence. Fear of inflicting harm to others. Name it, i have all the reasons not to splurge on the gaiety life has to offer. Kill Joy.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

slumber 2

I haven't been in touch for quite some time. Recently, I had this knack for mum-keeping, my heart and mind conniving to conceal the details of my human emotion, choosing pedestrian and triviality over pompous proclamations. Having been in a few mess myself, i decided to temporarily restrain the princess in me from getting stuck in a bog for longer periods of time.

So there goes my juices. Lurking beneath its deepest slumber.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013


I had the urge to abandon this nook, but i know i just couldn't. My pen had been in hiatus for quite some time, left undisturbed by the passing of time and the life that flicks through the screen of my reality. I chose to let my pen rests on its deep slumber, while i battle and conquer on what i so called adventure of the unknown.

Thursday, January 24, 2013


times like these when i feel like a dork.

it's frustrating.

i've never been into this kind of mess.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

bright lights

because the lights are so bright i couldn't just ignore the coming of the season.. 
and then i remember..

i am just alone.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Passion is indeed a profession.

A woman passionately pours herself in a canvass during the sun's highest peak. It's one of those lunch-outs that i stumble upon something that so resolutely radiates inside me as well. Passion is indeed a profession.

Sunday, December 9, 2012


I have been acting irreponsibly for the past weeks. Committing an honest mistake is enough to get me back to my senses.

It's been way difficult. But I have to bear the consequences of my actions.

Nuff said.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Awkward seatmate

That awkward feeling of sitting beside a very sleepy girl that bounces her head on and off my shoulder, of being worried that in any minute, her drool would gush on my sleeve. Ye, I missed the nap I could have enjoyed just because her head is so heavy it felt like a boulder is on my shoulder.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Tuesday, November 13, 2012


i don't know if i could still keep this. i've been madly crushed for quite a long time, never knowing when this emotion would stop rushing. in a limbo of whether to keep still or surrender. sometimes, silence is the best option.


"ang sabi nga ng iba, kung talagang mahal mo sya, hahayaan mong lumisan..."

by johnoy danao

Saturday, November 3, 2012



Saturday, October 27, 2012


Polished professional. Aspiring Amateur. Happy snappy chappy or chapette. It makes no difference.

Crumpler 7 Million Dollar Home.

Feel at home.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012


the pinky survived the torrential splashes of water and detergent. 
Oh such a lucky drive.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012


Stormed the LTO for a late car registration. My sweetie had been stuck for an era of laziness and busyness, the latter being a cover up for the previous one. Seriously, I lost the time for my auto maintenance, working 40kms apart from my den plus the toxicity of the metro travel had been very tedious. I would go home very late,and leave earlier than the rising of the sun. So I practically really do not have the luxury of time to check how my sweetie had been nursing its troubles. Oh poor baby.

So here I am, sitting next to the flock of men while patiently waiting for the licenses and registrations. The ratio of men and women processing their LTO thingy is about 1:10, that for every 10 men, there is 1 woman wishing for at least one courageous man to take over the hassle of processing government mandated papers. I know that's hasty generalization. Haha. But personally, I wish I didn't have to go here and sweat the boredom of idle hours. But heck, better to have the wealth of experience. (Such an excuse for the looser in

Two hours had already passed and I am still the wasted princess seated at the back side of the waiting area. What the hell happened to my papers, I screamed at the back burners of my brain. I have packed a lot of patience before going here this morning, and I'm very afraid it is slowly depleting. Oh recharge me please with the calmness of the spirit.

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld


I would have instantly died of nervous breakdown this afternoon. It has been a very rough day, after knowing what my uncle has done that irked me the most, among the many misfortunes I have stumbled upon. I am crazy, because I do not know how to cushion the blow. It would have been better had I exploded into bits and pieces beyond recognition. Might have made my soul at peace with the numbness of the pain that has been perforating my heart. Insanity is an ally.

While my sister was asking me this,"Are we dumb to suffer like this?" I was all the while condemning myself to an eternity of torment. The thing that hurt me the most is the realization that at some point in time, people will fail you big time, loveones will transform to epic fail modern-day hero, and un-met expectations are bound to frustrate you. Things will go way out of whack no matter how you try to patch things up. Such a distress for the damsel in me.

I do not know how to pacify the anger that is brewing in full blast, but I do hope that the god of somnolence will usher me to dreamland. I am so full of stress and pain that render me sleepless in a lonely night like this.

Crazy me, stupid me.

Good morning.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Monday, September 24, 2012


I do not know where to start. I seem to have lost a lot of juices after everything that has happened.