Tuesday, December 11, 2012

bright lights

because the lights are so bright i couldn't just ignore the coming of the season.. 
and then i remember..

i am just alone.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Passion is indeed a profession.

A woman passionately pours herself in a canvass during the sun's highest peak. It's one of those lunch-outs that i stumble upon something that so resolutely radiates inside me as well. Passion is indeed a profession.

Sunday, December 9, 2012


I have been acting irreponsibly for the past weeks. Committing an honest mistake is enough to get me back to my senses.

It's been way difficult. But I have to bear the consequences of my actions.

Nuff said.
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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Awkward seatmate

That awkward feeling of sitting beside a very sleepy girl that bounces her head on and off my shoulder, of being worried that in any minute, her drool would gush on my sleeve. Ye, I missed the nap I could have enjoyed just because her head is so heavy it felt like a boulder is on my shoulder.
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Tuesday, November 13, 2012


i don't know if i could still keep this. i've been madly crushed for quite a long time, never knowing when this emotion would stop rushing. in a limbo of whether to keep still or surrender. sometimes, silence is the best option.


"ang sabi nga ng iba, kung talagang mahal mo sya, hahayaan mong lumisan..."

by johnoy danao

Saturday, November 3, 2012



Saturday, October 27, 2012


Polished professional. Aspiring Amateur. Happy snappy chappy or chapette. It makes no difference.

Crumpler 7 Million Dollar Home.

Feel at home.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012


the pinky survived the torrential splashes of water and detergent. 
Oh such a lucky drive.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012


Stormed the LTO for a late car registration. My sweetie had been stuck for an era of laziness and busyness, the latter being a cover up for the previous one. Seriously, I lost the time for my auto maintenance, working 40kms apart from my den plus the toxicity of the metro travel had been very tedious. I would go home very late,and leave earlier than the rising of the sun. So I practically really do not have the luxury of time to check how my sweetie had been nursing its troubles. Oh poor baby.

So here I am, sitting next to the flock of men while patiently waiting for the licenses and registrations. The ratio of men and women processing their LTO thingy is about 1:10, that for every 10 men, there is 1 woman wishing for at least one courageous man to take over the hassle of processing government mandated papers. I know that's hasty generalization. Haha. But personally, I wish I didn't have to go here and sweat the boredom of idle hours. But heck, better to have the wealth of experience. (Such an excuse for the looser in me.lol)

Two hours had already passed and I am still the wasted princess seated at the back side of the waiting area. What the hell happened to my papers, I screamed at the back burners of my brain. I have packed a lot of patience before going here this morning, and I'm very afraid it is slowly depleting. Oh recharge me please with the calmness of the spirit.

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I would have instantly died of nervous breakdown this afternoon. It has been a very rough day, after knowing what my uncle has done that irked me the most, among the many misfortunes I have stumbled upon. I am crazy, because I do not know how to cushion the blow. It would have been better had I exploded into bits and pieces beyond recognition. Might have made my soul at peace with the numbness of the pain that has been perforating my heart. Insanity is an ally.

While my sister was asking me this,"Are we dumb to suffer like this?" I was all the while condemning myself to an eternity of torment. The thing that hurt me the most is the realization that at some point in time, people will fail you big time, loveones will transform to epic fail modern-day hero, and un-met expectations are bound to frustrate you. Things will go way out of whack no matter how you try to patch things up. Such a distress for the damsel in me.

I do not know how to pacify the anger that is brewing in full blast, but I do hope that the god of somnolence will usher me to dreamland. I am so full of stress and pain that render me sleepless in a lonely night like this.

Crazy me, stupid me.

Good morning.
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Monday, September 24, 2012


I do not know where to start. I seem to have lost a lot of juices after everything that has happened.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

back again

Tuesday, August 7, 2012


The early bird catching the early worm doesn't always get all the luck. Like I was earlier way than the usual to catch an early commute to Manila, and right when we were in the rush at the Slex, my boss sent a message to the team that we can opt not to work today for everyone's safety. Talk about love of work :))

Well, I was thinking about these:


All night long

It rained hard all night. Praying for everyone's safety.

God bless us all.
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Monday, August 6, 2012


Wow. It's been rainin' harder than the usual. Now on it's 3rd week :))

I seem to feel the rain like the job and responsibilities that has been passed on to me today. Overwhelming. Heavy-duty. Gazillions.

More of like a practice I guess. It's stressful but more of a challenge. At one point in my life I wish I am a super heroine, but not sooooo soon as this one :)) I'm still in shock as of the moment, maybe it will take me a week to get the hang of it. Tell me how do I go around the full-blast showers of change orders, billings, evaluations, inspections, schedules, design revisions, installations, minutes of meetings, presentations, reports of mechanical, electrical, plumbing, fire protection and safety. Or how do I go around and muster enough courage and confidence to plunge in this bigger pond. First things first, I need a much needed rest to face tomorrow.

I think it's better for me to take advantage of the weather tonight and rest my weary heart and mind.

Cold night and all alone, the melancholy whispers a memory.

Goodnight happiness. 

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Sunday, August 5, 2012


Spent my Saturday and Sunday with my sisters :) It's a blessed weekend with them, along with my nephews, who have already stolen my heart the day they were born.

I think I have gotten over the dilemma of my central pumping unit. Quite possibly. I have been occupied with household duties that I no longer have the time to wallow in missing my happiness. That instead of going over and over why things seems to prick here and there, got myself busy weeding out the grasses in the backyard here and there. That instead of thinking how my life would have been different if I didn't do the things I did back then, I got myself into hoping that tomorrow would be entirely better because I will strive my very best for my happiness. Sometimes, busyness could put your life into a new perspective.

It's still raining, and the news says showers will continue till the end of the week,or even longer. I hope no one would be harmed, I'm praying for everyone's safety. Tomorrow is yet another challenge, with MEPFS on my shoulder at work, I ask the Lord almighty to give me enough strength and wisdom to overcome the challenges I am about to face.

May the Lord bless me and keep me.

Good night world.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Friday, August 3, 2012

still raining

It's still raining.

I mean, it's frantically raining since last week. I just had the slightest peek of the sun in minutes, and then the heavens again wept. It's been muddy all over the place, civil works and site development had been put to intermittent halts that resulted to delays and lags in schedule. My trusty safety shoes which used to endure the test of strength in a metal forging environment wasn't able to withstand the force of nature, the searing heat of the great ball of fire and the copious weeping of the heavens. Quite the same, I've been feeling sh!++y for the last few days and i hell wish that this boredom shall eventually fade into oblivion. The curses of this solitude had bore a great weight on my shoulders, and if i am to act too slovenly i would eventually find myself stuck in that darkest corner again.

Unfortunately for me, i am still an awkward turtle wanting to pass this challenge of confidence. I am too slow and too feeble, too weak and too stupid, to overcome the howling banters of depression. It has been gnawing at my soul at the very slightest instance, like a memory of a celebrated relationship that easily went down the drain. Ignorance cannot always be tolerated, if not easily shooed away. There will always be times of remembering, and while you can always relish first the goodness in one's relationship, it will always draw you at the end to the pains and regrets of that treasured connection, the could-be and what-ifs, with all the perforations brought to your soul. It pays to be an ignorant sometimes, or try if I must, to save myself from the tremors of regression.
It's still raining.

And yes, no matter how i try to avoid those weather-induced sh!t$, it resurface in itself. Must be residing somehow as pent-up emotions waiting for the perfect opportunity to punch when the sun isn't around. I will have to endure the weather then, with all its delays, lags and inconveniences.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Forever still holds true

Visiting my yesterday. 
No one can ever bring me that smile and comfort.
Sometimes, i wish there's timelock button where i could linger for that timeframe longer than i could ever want.
The sweetest days of my life.
No goodbyes.

Forever still holds true.
I know.
I am.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012


It's one of those.
I need a cup of coffee.
Might make me stronger enough to face the truth.

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld


I'm bugged down by homegrown menaces that i find it harder to concentrate.



Toxic is this day. I'm coping up with the transitions, which happened at the speed of light. Now I'm working my ass off to get things done to the best that i could, without ever loosing my sanity. (I hope i won't, seriously)

Kaya ko to! Aja!

princess' fetish

princess' fetish.

new companion on the go.
take me to happiness.

Monday, July 30, 2012

rain-induced boredom

Must be the weather. 


Poor weather always has to shoulder the blame why sentiments pour as many and as hard as the raindrops on some nights like these.

Then there's the pillow. The stupid desire to transform a lifeless stuffed cushion to a hugging element. I bet you would run as fast as you can once you start feeling your pillow press itself onto your body, or slowly wrap itself around you voluntarily.

Don't forget the sheets. If you'd like a warm sheet in cold nights like these, why not try heating it over a flame, or insert it in the microwave. Because the sheets can't get any warmer in itself, not as much as you could.

That is why i am blurting out my two cents in this space, because i don't want the weather, the pillow, nor the sheets to highlight my total alienation amidst the hum  and buzz of efficient technology. I am bored because i am indeed, bored in itself, bored in the miniscule sense of having no one to talk to, no one to hug, and no one to keep me warm.. in rainy nights like this. Oh yes, the weather. *face palm*

The tendency to be more self-centered is greater to those who live by themselves alone. I am no exception, in fact, i am at the center stage. While my chaotic life is silenced by the walls and ceilings that could only hear but not talk, my quiet life stand in contrast to the squalor that has been around for quite a long time. 

There is none i can do to counter my own sentiments in a rainy night like this.

on pulo-diezmo road repair

"There's road surface restoration I think periodically, but no provisions for drainage. So the road is periodically damaged too. More restoration/road repairs, more income. That's how the people's money work for the nation, or for the good of those who are more lucky :D" 
-Lois (syempre ako pa din!haha)


Traffic sucks the life out of me. The time it took me to reach the national hiway from SLEX exit is more than the time it took me to reach SLEX exit from Manila. I know it's getting into my nerves and to the thousands of nerves of all the passengers squeezed into this four-wheeled box. Heck, so this is the disdainful transformation of a small town to a toxic city!

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld


so i'm now a stressful bee after the heavens wept copiously since yesterday. 

my office mates didn't report to work today, i am left with no choice but to act like a normal person.

too stressful, i forgot i poured cold water in my tumbler when i put the coffee granules.

someone needs a break. but it's only monday! 


Sunday, July 29, 2012

too bad

oh my. raining cats and dogs. howling wind. 
too bad the pillow doesn't hug back.

oryt. imma close mah eyes again.


i guess this sucks. my mind is off to work in advance, pondering about the critical areas for inspection tom. can i just clock-in now? hindi ako mapakali! uurrrgghhhh!

good night world

donned my pjs, rolled up the sheets, put hazam beside me. 
it's a cold night.
wish i could hug hazam. if only :))

good night world. lemme feel yah tom.


A well-spent Saturday Night with my OSA Servi Family.

Friday, July 27, 2012


had a hard time unplugging myself from the subscriptions and views of my old office mates and some unfamiliar people. sometimes, things are better left this way.


Thursday, July 26, 2012


who's afraid of heights?

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

It's the feeling that sucks you into the vortex of desolation

It's the feeling that sucks you into the vortex of desolation.

I've been fighting over it in the last few nights, and i still haven't won the battle. The hardest battle is the fight between yourself, the one that shrinks your self-esteem into a raisin. 
For the last few nights, i've been tracing a smile on the moon's face, with high hopes that things would somehow get better, if only i could clear my mind with the disturbing thoughts brewing inside. 
The weakling in me has resurfaced.

Restless for the last few nights, i wish to lay down focused on a brighter tomorrow.

Been sleeping with Hazam beside for the last few nights.

missing sweetie

Dear Sweetie,

It's been a great test of patience. I've been wanting to be with you again, to spend some time alone while entertaining some repressed emotions that have been resurfacing once again. I've been meaning to make up with the lost time between us, to fill the gaps where we used to be together each day. You see, i have to endure our separation, not because i love you lesser now, but because i love you so much i need to save up for your restoration.

After all the ordeals we have gone through since the last quarter of 2011, i have loved you even more. My pockets were full of holes in my desire to keep you rolling. During those times when i have to leave you at home because of my fear of inflicting further troubles on your part, I wish I had enough to spare you from just collecting dusts at the garage. My heart bleeds for not being with you during the last days of work at the forging plant, my heart aches that I can't bring you now to share the joys brought by my new work.

I know I have kept you waiting for months in order to bring your life back. You know I have tried all the possibilities to keep you roaring once again. But as of the moment, the probability is still slim. Troubles sprout like mushrooms here and there, alternating between replacements and repairs. Admittedly, at times, surrendering is my only option, but at the end of the day, I am brought to the realization that I need you.

I will try my best to keep you, so that we can make more memories to last a lifetime.

I missed you so much sweetie.

Monday, July 23, 2012


Bumped my head hard while entering the van. I got really dizzy i saw butterflies and birds flying around.


Sunday, July 22, 2012


It's a cold evening.
But i'll get through with it.


Life must be lived as we go along

Stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, swim more rivers, climb more mountains, kiss more babies, count more stars. Laugh more and cry less. Go barefoot oftener. Eat more ice cream. Ride more merry-go-rounds. Watch more sunsets. Life must be lived as we go along. - Francis Kong


Saturday, July 21, 2012


by Bein Alameen
Everything has a cleansing agent. And fasting is the cleansing agent for the body.

Often a non-Muslim friend of mine never fails to ask me why do i fast during Ramadan and how do i survive a day without eating and drinking from sunrise to sunset. I always answer them "Its all in the mind and by the will of God". After all a human body can survive 8-14 days without water (depending on the person's well being and how fast sweat, urine, and tears are leaving the body) and up to 4 weeks without food (depending on conditions like weight, temperature, and exertion). Alhamdulillah I have been fasting during Ramadan for 6 blessed years now and Inshaallah every year I have been trying to improve the way i abstain from things that are forbidden and its not just the food and drinks.

On the scientific point of view fasting is good for the body, it is the cheapest and most practical way to detoxify from "harmful" substances that we may have been taken daily, knowingly and unknowingly. I remember prepping up for a medical exam involving stool and urine samples wherein the doctor orders to fast for at least 12 hrs. I'll leave the religious point of view for later; but with regards "physical" and/or "mental" well-being, I found myself more tranquil and peaceful whenever im fasting (Ramadan or not). The feeling of serenity and calmness, the smooth and almost choreographed flow of my movements, and my whole outlook leans towards positiveness - Who would want to exert more effort to be angry when hungry? no pun intended

And hey even Jesus Christ fasted for 40 days and 40 nights [Matthew 4:2]. If a person claims that he follows the True religion then he should emulate the teachings and actions of his teachers [Prophets]. So if ever some random stranger asks me again Why do I fast? I'll simply tell him ".... its because Jesus Christ did too".

And now for the more "Technical" part, enjoy reading... hope you won't get bored and somehow you'll pick up something informative and useful.

Fasting is another unique moral and spiritual characteristic of Islam. Literally defined, fasting means to abstain "completely" from foods, drinks, intimate intercourse and smoking, before the break of the dawn till sunset, during the entire month of Ramadan, the ninth month of the Islamic year. But if we restrict the meaning of the Islamic Fasting to this literal sense, we would be sadly mistaken.

When Islam introduced this matchless institution, it planted an ever-growing tree of infinite virtue and invaluable products. Here is an explanation of the spiritual meaning of the Islamic Fasting:
  • It teaches man the principle of sincere Love: because when he observes Fasting he does it out of deep love for God. And the man who loves God truly is a man who really knows what love is.
  • It equips man with a creative sense of hope and an optimistic outlook on life; because when he fasts he is hoping to please God and is seeking His Grace.
  • It imbues in man the genuine virtue of effective devotion, honest dedication and closeness to God; because when he fasts he does so for God and for His sake alone.
  • It cultivates in man a vigilant and sound conscience; because the fasting person keeps his fast in secret as well as in public. In fasting, especially, there is no mundane authority to check man's behavior or compel him to observe fasting. He keeps it to please God and satisfy his own conscience by being faithful in secret and in public. There is no better way to cultivate a sound conscience in man.
  • It indoctrinates man in patience and selflessness, as through fasting, he feels the pains of deprivation but he endures them patiently
  • It is an effective lesson in applied moderation and willpower.
  • Fasting also provides man with a transparent soul, a clear mind and a light body.
    It shows man a new way of wise savings and sound budgeting.
  • It enables man to master the art of Mature Adaptability. We can easily understand the point once we realize that fasting makes man change the entire course of his daily life. 
  • It grounds man in discipline and healthy survival.
  • It originates in man the real spirit of social belonging, unity and brotherhood, of equality before God as well as before the law.
  • It is a Godly prescription for self-reassurance and self-control.
Now, someone may be tempted to raise the objection: If this is the case with the Islamic institution of fasting, and if this is the picture of Islam in this aspect, why are the Muslims not living in a utopia? To such an objection we can only say that Muslims have lived in and enjoyed a utopia in a certain epoch of their history. The realization of that utopia was a phenomenon of a unique achievement in the history of man. We say unique, because no religion or social system other than Islam has ever been able to realize its ideals in reality.

The reason why the Islamic utopia is not being established nowadays is manifold and easily explicable. But to restrict our discussion to the institution of fasting we may say that some Muslims, unfortunately for them, do not observe the fast or, at best, adopt the attitude of indifference. On the other hand, some of those who observe it do not realize its true meaning and, as a result, derive very little benefit out of it or, in fact, no benefit at all.

That is why some Muslims today, do not enjoy the real privileges of fasting.
It has already been indicated that the period of obligatory fasting is the month of Ramadan. The daily period of observance starts before the break of the dawn and ends immediately after sunset. Normally there are accurate calendars to toll the exact time, but in the absence of such facilities one should consult one's watch and the sun's positions, together with the local newspapers, weather bureau, etc.

Fasting Ramadan is obligatory on every responsible and fit Muslim. But there are other times when it is recommended to make voluntary fasting, after the Traditions of Prophet Muhammad. Among these times are Mondays and Thursdays of every week, a few days of each month in the two months heralding the coming of Ramadan, i.e., Rajab and Sha'ban, six days after Ramadan following the 'Eid-ul-Fitr Day. Besides, it is always compensating to fast any day of any month of the year, except the 'Eid Days and Fridays when no Muslim should fast. 

However, we may repeat that the only obligatory fasting is that of Ramadan - which may be 29 or 30 days, depending on the moon's positions. This is a pillar of Islam, and any failure to observe it without reasonable excuses is a grave sin in the sight of God.

Who Must Fast?
Fasting Ramadan is compulsory upon every Muslim, male or female, who has these qualifications:
  • To be mentally and physically fit, which means to be sane and able.
  • To be of full age, the age of puberty and discretion, which is normally about fourteen. Children under this age should be encouraged to start this good practice on easy levels, so when they reach the age of puberty they will be mentally and physically prepared to observe fasting.
  • To be present at one's permanent settlement, your home town, one's farm, and one's business premises, etc. This means not to be on a journey of about fifty miles or more.
  • To be fairly certain that fasting is unlikely to cause you any harm, physical or mental, other than the normal reactions to hunger, thirst, etc.
Exemption From Fasting:
These said qualifications exclude the following categories:
  • Children under the age of puberty and discretion.
  • Insane people who are unaccountable for their deeds. People of these two categories are exempted from the duty of fist, and no compensation or any other substitute is enjoined on them.
  • Men and women who are too old and feeble to undertake the obligation of fast and bear its hardships. Such people are exempted from this duty, but they must offer, at least, one needy poor Muslim an average full meal or its value per person per day.
  • Sick people whose health is likely to be severely affected by the observance of fast. They may postpone the fast, as long as they are sick, to a later date and make up for it, a day for a day.
  • Travelers may break the fast temporarily during their travel only and make up for it in later days, a day for a dayPregnant women and women breast-feeding their children may also break the fast, if its observance is likely to endanger their own health or that of their infants. But they must make up for the fast at a delayed time, a day for a day.
  • Women in the -period of menstruation (of a maximum of ten days or of confinement (of a maximum of forty days).; They must postpone the fast till recovery and then make up for it, a day for a day.
It should be understood that here, like in all other Islamic undertakings, the intention must be made clear that this action is undertaken in obedience to God, in response to His command and out of love of Him.

The fast of any day of Ramadan becomes void by intentional eating or drinking or smoking or indulgence in any intimate intercourse, and by allowing anything to enter through the mouth into the interior parts of the body. And if this is done deliberately without any lawful reason, this is a major sin which only renewed repentance can expiate.

If anyone, through forgetfulness, does something that would ordinarily break the fast, 0a observance is not nullified, and his fast stands valid, provided he stops doing that thing the moment he realizes what he is doing.
On completion of the fast of Ramadan, the special charity known as Sadagat-ul-Fitr (charity of ' Fast-breaking) must be distributed before 'Eid-ul-Fitr (approximately), seven dollars per head.

General Recommendations:
It is strongly recommended by Prophet Muhammad to observe these practices especially during Ramadan:
  • To have a light meal before the break of the dawn, known as Suhoor.
  • To eat a few dates or start breaking the fast by plain water right after sunset, saying this prayer Allah humma laka sumna, wa 'ala rizqika aftarna. (O God! for Your sake have we fasted and now we break the fast with the food You have given us).
  • To make your meals as light as possible because, as the Prophet put it, the worst thing man can fill is his stomach.
  • To observe the supererogatory prayer known as Taraweeh.
  • To exchange social visits and intensify humanitarian services.
  • To increase the study and recitation of the Qur'an.
  • To exert the utmost in patience and humbleness.
  • To be extraordinarily cautious in using one's senses, one's mind and, especially, the tongue; to abstain from careless gossip and avoid all suspicious motions.
some excerpts borrowed from the writings of Dr. Arafat El-Ashi
Director - Muslim World League, Canada



got an email from my sis:


1) For one, you shouldn't leave because you don't like several people in the company, nor should you stay because of the friends you have made here. At the end of the day, it is your life. Your friends or "enemies" should not make or break your career. If you let them be the deciding factor, then maybe you should think twice. You are the craftsman of your fate and the captain of your ship. Captain Hook shouldn't be one of your worries!

2) Do not leave nor stay because of the "brand" of your company. If  that was the case, I would have rushed off and sign my JO in "C"! Ask yourself whether you want to be a big fish in a small pond or a small fish in a bigger pond. Know your priorities. Only you can answer that.

3) Do not leave the company because you're so damn frustrated about the way things are being run, or stay because you have this "messianic complex" that you can change things overnight. Be realistic about the things.
Learn to accept that there is no perfect company. Be accepting that change is a slow and painful process at times and be thankful that you realize and act on things that can be changed and improved.

4) Definitely, do not leave or stay just because your parents want you to. I know I am advocating obedience to parents but again, we are talking about YOUR career. But learn to value their wisdom and discern well.

5) Money isn't everything. The package being offered now might be better but look at the long-term prospects. Do not leave or stay just solely on the compensation package. Look for growth prospects and review their career plans for you. Your immediate gains today might actually be a loss a few years from now if you do the Math.

6) Boredom is another challenge all professionals are faced with during lull periods in their career. Do not leave because you have become so bored with your job. Do not stay either because you want things as they are. Change is inevitable in any organization. Talk to your boss. Ask for more responsibilities or other tasks if you're bored. Enroll in a special course. If you're satisfied with the status quo and is just waiting for retirement hoping things will stay the same, you're in for a big disappointment - either you will be forced to change or you will be forced to leave. Be ready before that time comes. Boredom or complacency is perennial battle most professionals have to deal with. Arm yourself  with
creativity everyday!

7)Tonight I suggest you rest well. Sit still and listen to what He is saying. PRAY. I have always made my career decisions through His guidance. He was and still is my Career Adviser/Talent Manager. Your work, our
work, is a vocation. He knows us more than we know ourselves so trust Him for whatever plans He has for you. You can never go wrong.
Trust me it works!!!!

And remember: Use your head to get to the top. But use your heart to stay.

Thursday, July 19, 2012


honing my arabic tongue :) 
ill be better someday

4ae 4af

dear sweetie,
the long wait is over.
here i am.

lots of love,

Monday, July 16, 2012

just when

Just when I am so full of juice to spill, the net went out.
I'm sleeping with my hazam after an hour of flick.
Good nightie everyone.

Ps. Anifa's getting the carb tom.hopefully.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Saturday, July 14, 2012


PERSUASION by Bein Alameen *

Have you been in a situation where in your friend, colleague, relative, or even a total stranger pops up on your doorstep trying to persuade you in believing his/her ideologies which are at times weird, alien, strange, or just plain in opposition of yours? It sucks right? This is where the notion "what do you think?" when your friend asks your opinion about the dress she'll be wearing' on her date or the movie you just had  or to somebody you've both just met. Politically speaking, "what do you think?" is supposed to ask one's opinion on a subject matter; but in most cases, Reality that is, it is just a way of knowing if one's opinion is similar to yours - checking out if they agree with yours or not beforehand. Funny as it seems but true.

Now going back, think about it when persuasion occurs in lieu of religion or a certain religious point of view for that matter. Street preachers (sometimes on buses too), missionaries, and those guys who goes on tandem knocking at doors splurting out "share lang po namin ang mabuting balita" (we'll just share the good news) - i wish the news will be me winning some raffle draw or even a lottery jackpot, which i doubt to happen 'cause i haven't joined any for a very long time. Or some Clergyman asking be a freedom fighter and guarantee a spot in Jennah (heaven). Sometimes we shoo this people away, sometimes we entertain them.... but do we actually listen?

I remember a friend of mine going to the extent of pretending to be an atheist just to get away. I myself before have used the phrase "nagsusuri pa ako" (im still analyzing) - religion that is, which has become successful on repelling these approaches. Only got stumped when a family member said, "pano pag oras na ng paghuhukom, haharap ka ba sa diyos at sasabihin mong nagsusuri ka pa?" (What if it’s the hour of judgment, are you gonna tell god you're still analyzing?). 

That's the time I started taking religion seriously - man I was a loose cannon back then and even though my religious knowledge is mediocre, I always tend to go on sensitive debates and discussions armed with biblical verses and loopholes? Hoping to trump and get the opposing party humiliated without caring on religious impact. That's the danger of little sensitive knowledge + brash youth = expect the unexpected.

But as I grow older, to my surprise, wisdom and reason can be synonymous with each other. Even pondered.... what if the guy who worships cows has the true religion, or what if "that guy who founded a church" is truly an angel, and the "southern" clan is family of saints, not to mention animists and atheists? Man! Then eternal damnation is waiting for me for sure, for my beliefs are not even up par to theirs. Don’t get me wrong but I have much respect with Religions - Islam, Judaism, and Christianity; all practicing Monotheism or the belief in one true God.

All others, Sects, Cults, and Breakaway groups are make beliefs, politically motivated and unguided visions which only benefit their leaders/founders who promise salvation. and don’t ever feed me "what about Sunni, Shiite, Salafis, Sufis, Wahabbis, Sadrists, Hanbalis, Hanafis, Allawis... etc" I am a Muslim and my Creator guided me to be that way for I fear not on walking in the middle of the straight path and not choose sides. Bear in mind that we need to believe in the IDEALS and not some Shiny or Living IDOLS.

However my take on things on a religiously relevant topic is only on a personal level and not speaking on behalf of my own religion in general. I am but a student and my learning process only ends on my deathbed. I will try to answer queries and questions (with regards religion that is) as much as i possibly can.

It is true that my limited knowledge may not always have an exact answer to every query that i may encounter, wherein I am tasked to relay the question to whomsoever had the wisdom and maybe able to provide the answers later on. May the Almighty guide us on all our actions and opinions that we may not err our own Faith thru misconceptions, misinterpretations, or misunderstandings.     

 * Bein Alameen is a knight :)

Friday, July 13, 2012


He was so alive in my head just as he was the last time I saw him, so alive in the form of memories in the last time I was with him. When I retreat to happiness when the night gets long and world gets so weary, the entire milky way becomes full of raucous vitality. I can feel the fullness and energy of the stars and the moon rewarding me with a deep soulful stillness.

It was the greatest.

One does not simply overcome the pains of yesterday. I remember feeling like a stunted victim of a massacre. Indeed, tragedy is not limited to theater. But after so many moons that passed, the princess who had gone through the waves of sentimental and unsentimental trivialities had learned to tame the lurking nature of hurt and depression.

I have learned to cherish the things that mattered most and throw away the thorns of sorrow. It's astonishing how I could only live on the good memories I have with him, and walk through it when the day is at its darkest. I have let go of the reins and enjoy the ride of my life. But as always, he will forever be loved, cherished and adored, for all its worth.

You are always missed. 

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Still awake. O_o
Ye. Digesting some thoughts.
Lez do the sleepin.

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Thursday, July 12, 2012


I'm kind of messed-up today.

Last night, I got this kind of feeling that my subconscious had thrown a big celebration, only to make me less productive for this day. Last time I checked, I put my physical self to the state of somnolence, rolled up the sheets and snoozed my way to dreamland. But I do feel tired this morning, like I didn't rest the whole night..which equates to my tardiness this morning.

I was more messed up when I was told of the mistakes I have committed in my work. Sure thing, it was an honest mistake, but was due to the fact that I wasn't even told of the standards or the right ones. I just couldn't give up especially with the thought that none here would teach me on how the way things work. I am trying so hard to discover things, learn the system and eventually learn from my own mistakes, recover from the state of low-esteem and push up for the best.

Bat ang iksi ng lunch break..di ako makatapos ng article :))
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Wednesday, July 11, 2012


I'm a tad sleepy, didn't get enough rest last night. Time passed by without a warning, got occupied loading my torrent list of applications and tutorials. I'm kind of giving myself just a week to finish all the setup, and I'll be good to go with my obligations in the virtual gigs.

I'm a bit loaded the past few days with some self-restoration.
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Tuesday, July 10, 2012

It's a feel good morning :)

I'm off to a seminar at the main office. An early bird I am, I'm an hour and a half earlier, having an hour and a half sleep. Spent quite a lot of time bonding with my hazam, and I'm not yet done with the installations and everything. I have discerned that this would happen, the geek in me slowly resurfacing to the fore after some time in hiatus. Forget about the soap and everything inside the boob tube, I could stream it on the net while doing some online works. Oh the power of multitasking :))
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Monday, July 9, 2012

ill be back

I have been missing in action for quite some time. Since i left the forging plant, seldom do i find time to pen some thoughts. Must be due to the calmness in my heart that i have been much enjoying in my new adventure. 

I know i left the forging plant with a very heavy heart. Up to the last minute, it has been shattered into pieces by the very head of the company. What a memorable way to part ways with the place that took advantage of me  for nine years. 

I'll be back :) 

Saturday, June 30, 2012


PLAYING FAIRLY. In this game of life, an old man plays it fairly. While some would cope with the hassles of this so-called unfair life stealing from others to feed themselves, here's an old man driving for a living. He sure drives at turtle speed, and my travel from alabang to bicutan took longer than the usual, but it enabled me to witness a life unfolding in a different perspective.
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Thursday, June 28, 2012


I don't know but it must be the weather.

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Monday, June 25, 2012


Some nights are better than this.


Sunday, June 24, 2012


finally got to clean the add-ons. kind of missin' the fun shoots :)

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Life is like photography

Friday, June 22, 2012


I've been very occupied the past few weeks. Monumental events in my life took place and i was caught off guard with the sudden changes, my virtual life suddenly took a halt. 

I moved to a completely new and different industry. The major shift from manufacturing to construction ......

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

fall with me

Kabigan Falls, Ilocos


I have officially started my three-day countdown to freedom.

Saturday, June 9, 2012


Weekend at Stilts, Calatagan
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Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Buffalo wings

Buffalo wings for dinner :) yeah, i'm cooking

that stupid feeling...

That stupid feeling when your boss no longer cares for you because you're moving to a new company in a week. *big evil grin*


Tuesday, June 5, 2012

It's a date

My late date last night J

Monday, June 4, 2012




Sunday, June 3, 2012

Good library

Friday, June 1, 2012


Motivated by the pursuit of opportunities for career advancement than income necessity and lifestyle convenience issues.


Welcome to a whole new world lois J




I've been too busy the past few days.

Had a lot of things going around… ielts, natal day, job resignation, job hunting, etc. It was as if a part of me got stuck in a certain time-frame.

It felt like being stuck in excitement, gratitude, frustrations, disappointments, of wanting to move on, of wanting to move out.


Monday, May 28, 2012


Thanks sis for the yummy Nikon D800

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Natal Day

I'm with You Lord.
Thanks so much.
With all my heart, praises for You.
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Friday, May 25, 2012

Surprise me!

It's my day tomorrow...
Surprise me!

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Thursday, May 24, 2012

bangui windmills

sniper @ bangui

can't get enough of the windmills

Wednesday, May 23, 2012


Dear oliver, you remind me of the superhero.


I'm delighted at the fact that I could watch Echo on tv and be reminded of you. While you used to kid around telling me that it is John Lloyd whom you resemble the most, I would love to tell you at this moment that your antics, your sweetness, your smiles, the way you look at me in the eyes, is soooo Oliver

But this doesn't mean anything. Not that I want you here right now. No. Though I would love too, a bit :)) lol.

I'm just sanctifying the memories, the ones I could hold on to forever. If there's such thing as forever, I guess this is it. I could walk down this memory lane forever without feeling a tinge of pain.

Sbi nga ni mike, SMILE.

I need not be distracted, gotta breeze through the exam on fri and sat.

And then...

Happy birthday na :))


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Tuesday, May 22, 2012


Hot milk while reviewing. Parang little princess lang :)) Seriously, kinakabahan ako. Last 3 nights... God bless me.

Monday, May 21, 2012


Solitude is a friend.


Sometimes I wish the cards had fallen differently on me.

Ganto ata talaga pag tumatandang mag isa. Madalas tinotoyo :))

Ang lungkot.
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Bangui windmill

Snapping the windmill at bangui,ilocos
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Sunday, May 20, 2012

Lemme sleep

Spent a night of good vibes with dearie friends over a bottle of beverage.while it took half the effort to bug me down with a 5% alco,it took them at least 3 horses to knock them out, and snore the hell in here. Now I need to plug something to my ears to enjoy this cold night.lol.
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Saturday, May 19, 2012

Patapat viaduct

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Thursday, May 17, 2012

long exposure failure

when the epic long exposure is a total failure :))


lemme come back.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Stocks here and there

Notice of cash dividends from BPI.

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W+f. Who did this? :furious:
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Tuesday, May 15, 2012

sweet relief

I had been struggling for a relief for this dry cough that has been pestering me for more than three weeks. After the two-day ordeal with guaifenessin gel, I was reluctant to take it anymore considering some major impacts it can bring to my deary filtering machine. The good thing though is that the infection invasion could have subsided a bit, because the fever had stopped coming anymore. My temperature was back at normal, and I no longer have to depend to paracetamol for an ease of movement.

I do gargle with warm water with salt, drank Calamansi juice, squeeze lemon and calamansi for juice, but the effects are still on its way.

So last night, I decided to make love with honey.

Poured half a cup of honey and squeeze one whole lemon juice into it.

This will be my cough syrup.

Took two tablespoons of the concoction.

I didn't bark the whole night, and had a relaxing sleep.

Such a sweet relief.


I still got a long,long day to take my sweety coughy syrup. And i'm lovin' it.

Monday, May 14, 2012



Sunday, May 13, 2012

Good night

Sleeping earlier.
Good night everyone.
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Indeed hottest at the crater!

Taal Volcano Crater
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Wednesday, May 9, 2012


The dry cough that has been plaguing me for weeks made me weaker each day. It would be easier if I could just splurge on syrups to cushion the blow, but I’m afraid it isn't acceptable on my system. So there goes the warm water to comfort my throat.


I would have skipped work today and took my much needed rest if not for the quality control meeting.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012


Tuesday. I am still hoping I could feel a slight tinge of work-related excitement. As always, it's an epic fail.
I despise this everyday encounter with disappointments, with all the mundane tasks assigned by no less than my no-brainer boss. Sometimes I would program my mind to just not mind him, work for the love of work, but then my ritual would be put into halt as soon as he sits on his thrown and open the book he's reading (John Maxwell's 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership). Not only am I disturbed by his sheer act of utilizing the company time for his personal affairs, but also at the thought that he might have a total brain fissure for the lack of capacity to absorb all the knowledge the book has to offer.
Oh right, I'm one hell of a b!tch. Too sorry for him for having a subordinate like me. But I am most unfortunate for having someone like him as a boss, I am really sorry, but I do not feel motivated nor inspired working under his umbrella. 

Monday, May 7, 2012


It's been a while since I last took a shot of the moon. The night illuminator has always been dearest to me for so many reasons.


So here’s my take on the supermoon last night.


You may want to read earthsky.org’s article about May 2012 full moon:


Is biggest and closest full moon on May 5, 2012 a supermoon?

According to U.S. clocks, May 5, 2012 features the closest and largest full moon of this year. Calendars say May 6, by the way, for this same close full moon as seen from Europe, the Middle East, Africa and Asia. We astronomers call this sort of close full moon a perigee full moon. The word perigee describes the moon’s closest point to Earth for a given month. But last year, when the closest and largest full moon occurred on March 19, 2011, many used a term we’d never heard: supermoon. We’ve heard this term again at this 2012 close full moon. What does it mean exactly? And how special is the May 5, 2012 supermoon?

The word supermoon didn’t come from astronomy. Instead, it came from astrology. Astrologer Richard Nolle of the website astropro.com takes credit for coining the term supermoon. In 1979, he defined it as:

…a new or full moon which occurs with the moon at or near (within 90% of) its closest approach to Earth in a given orbit (perigee). In short, Earth, moon and sun are all in a line, with moon in its nearest approach to Earth.

By this definition, according to Nolle:

There are 4-6 supermoons a year on average.

That doesn’t sound very special, does it? In fact, tonight’s full moon lines up much more closely with perigee – the moon’s closest point to Earth – than Nolle’s original definition. The 2012 May full moon falls some six minutes after perigee, the moon’s closest point to Earth for this month. At perigee, the moon lies only 356,955 kilometers (221,802 miles) away. Later this month, on May 19, the moon will swing out to apogee – its farthest point for the month – at 406,448 kilometers (252,555 miles) distant. So you can see tonight’s moon really is at its closest.

In fact, May 2012 presents the moon’s closest encounter with Earth since March 19, 2011, at which time the moon was a scant 380 kilometers closer to Earth. The moon won’t come as close as tonight’s extra-close moon until August 10, 2014 – although in 2013 the moon at its closest (June 23, 2013) will lie only 36 kilometers farther away than the closest moon in 2012. (See table below) Maybe this helps you see that supermoons – while interesting – are fairly routine astronomical events.

Even the proximity of full moon with perigee in today’s moon isn’t all that rare. The extra-close moon in all of these years – 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014 and 2015 – finds the full moon taking place within an hour or so of lunar perigee. More often than not, the closest perigee of the year comes on the day that the full moon and perigee coincide.

By the way, according to U.S. clocks, the full moon falls this evening at precisely at 10:35 p.m. Central Daylight Time. This same full moon falls tomorrow (Sunday, May 6) at 3:35 Universal Time (UT) – the standard time at the prime meridian of 0o longitude, or, for example, in Greenwich, England.

How often does the full moon coincide with perigee? Closest full moons recur in cycles of 14 lunar (synodic) months, because 14 lunar months almost exactly equal 15 returns to perigee. A lunar month refers to the time period between successive full moons, a mean period of 29.53059 days. An anomalistic month refers to successive returns to perigee, a period of 27.55455 days. Hence:

14 x 29.53059 days = 413.428 days
15 x 27.55455 days = 413.318 days

This time period is equal to about 1 year, 1 month, and 18 days. The full moon and perigee will realign again on June 23, 2013, because the 14th full moon after today’s full moon will fall on that date.

Moon closest to Earth






March 19

356,575 km


May 6

356,955 km


June 23

356,991 km


August 10

356,896 km


September 28

356,877 km

Looking further into the future, the perigee full moon on November 14, 2016 (356,509 km) will even be closer than the one on March 19, 2011 (356,575 km). The perigee full moon will come closer than 356,500 kilometers for the first time in the 21st century on November 25, 2034 (356,446 km). The closest moon of the 21st century will fall on December 6, 2052 (356,421 km).

Will the tides be higher than usual? Yes, all full moons bring higher-than-usual tides, and perigee full moons bring the highest (and lowest) tides of all. Each month, on the day of the full moon, the moon, Earth and sun are aligned, with Earth in between. This line up creates wide-ranging tides, known as spring tides. High spring tides climb up especially high, and on the same day low tides plunge especially low.

Today’s extra-close full moon accentuates these monthly (full moon) spring tides all the more.

If you live along a coastline, watch for high tides caused by the May 5-6 perigee full moon – or supermoon – over the next several days. Will the high tides cause flooding? Probably not, unless a strong weather system moves into the coastline where you are. Still, keep an eye on the weather, because storms do have a large potential to accentuate high spring tides.

As a result, if you live near a coast, you’ll want to be on the lookout for higher-than-usual tides.