Friday, August 3, 2012

still raining

It's still raining.

I mean, it's frantically raining since last week. I just had the slightest peek of the sun in minutes, and then the heavens again wept. It's been muddy all over the place, civil works and site development had been put to intermittent halts that resulted to delays and lags in schedule. My trusty safety shoes which used to endure the test of strength in a metal forging environment wasn't able to withstand the force of nature, the searing heat of the great ball of fire and the copious weeping of the heavens. Quite the same, I've been feeling sh!++y for the last few days and i hell wish that this boredom shall eventually fade into oblivion. The curses of this solitude had bore a great weight on my shoulders, and if i am to act too slovenly i would eventually find myself stuck in that darkest corner again.

Unfortunately for me, i am still an awkward turtle wanting to pass this challenge of confidence. I am too slow and too feeble, too weak and too stupid, to overcome the howling banters of depression. It has been gnawing at my soul at the very slightest instance, like a memory of a celebrated relationship that easily went down the drain. Ignorance cannot always be tolerated, if not easily shooed away. There will always be times of remembering, and while you can always relish first the goodness in one's relationship, it will always draw you at the end to the pains and regrets of that treasured connection, the could-be and what-ifs, with all the perforations brought to your soul. It pays to be an ignorant sometimes, or try if I must, to save myself from the tremors of regression.
It's still raining.

And yes, no matter how i try to avoid those weather-induced sh!t$, it resurface in itself. Must be residing somehow as pent-up emotions waiting for the perfect opportunity to punch when the sun isn't around. I will have to endure the weather then, with all its delays, lags and inconveniences.