Tuesday, June 22, 2010


Dear Dad,

I am deeply sorry if I can't be the daughter you want me to be.

If for some obvious reasons, I can't even meet your highest expectations, I sincerely apologize from the bottom of my heart.

Maybe it's the time and distance that separated us to what you all want us to become.

It's not easy being your daughter.

God knows how i tried to be the best in everything to give you honor and pride. We may not have parallel opinions on everything, but you have all my admiration for everything that you believe. I do not know if i have lived well the days that passed on me, but sure enough, all the days of my life have been lived with love and respect to you as my father.

You were gone for more than three quarters of my life. During those times, i have established my own life, my own habits, my own beliefs, but striving hardest still to be at least a good daughter a parent would always want to have. I have refrained from doing things that could easily blotch our family's escutcheon.

It's just that my life is a game that is not easy to play with.

Life plays cruel tricks on us.

I am filled with so much compassion, that i cannot provide our family a luxurious life. I know that you have yielded us to some of the luxuries that you want us all to have. More's the pity, i feel even more remorseful, that even at this point in my life, i earn a meager salary, too paltry in order for me to give my family at least a more decent life.

If it had not been for the cross that i am carrying right now, i could support our family financially.

I am struck with too much pain as your criticism grew plentiful and strident. I was even asking myself, scrutinizing further, if there's any good that i had done even once in my life.

Was it my fault that i got tied to this malady?

Is it fairly wrong that i stayed under our roof even at this point in my life?

I am trying very hard to live a couple of notches better than your expectations.

But i guess... i failed.

And i am sorry dad.