Wednesday, May 21, 2008


I'm quite not sure if the pity party is over.
I could still see myself staring blandly into nothingness, and as if the hands of the clock would stop momentarily to wait until my consciousness and sanity come back to life.

My whole gamut of emotion is at bay. I asked myself why i allow these things to happen to me... again and again and again. Was it my fault that i allowed to be persuaded by a rosy blissfulness? Or am i too fumbling in dealing with things acting as a mirage in my sundry situations?

A fluke of nature or so to speak?


Did i really just spun counterclockwise to rob the planet of its angular momentum, slowed its spin the tiniest bit, lengthened the night, pushed back the dawn... to give me a little more time here... with... ****

I cry my emptiness to the heavens.

My last vestige of gaiety has been sitting on a patch of sunlight as i bellowed and plotz with joy before reasons gone berserk. I couldn't understand these things. I couldn't even quantify the gravity of the gash i have inflicted on myself.

This suffering partakes of that trauma in essence, if not in scale.

I must muster the courage to harbor the strength i needed to patch things up..again and again and again....