Thursday, February 19, 2009


It's an early Thursday morning when i revved for the life of the engine. Pretty lucky engine, its life is defined by its running speed as the accelerator is pressed, while i define my life to be decelerating with the pressing hotchpotch of opportunities and difficulties, and of accomplishments and disappointments.

I knew it's going to be a hellish day for me, as i lost my soul the night before asking God to take away the very life that i am breathing. Maybe even atrocious, for i am bound to labor for eight straight hours with the impending thoughts of my passing away.

Pressing the accelerator, the car inched forward as it leaves a trail of amorphous carbon while my thoughts are tightly bolted to the familiar visitor which had visited my mother 24years ago. It has never been this unflagging, tormenting me even in these dire moments when my presence of mind is all i ever need to reach my destination. Taking its chance in every trice it could, death has taken all forms of road interference: a man on a bicycle suddenly criss-crossing on the road, a motorcycle heading fast straight to me on the very same lane, a horde of students, workers and other forms of living crossing the road unhurriedly outside the pedestrian lane without even looking left and right at the coming vehicles, a huge truck almost bumping my rear, a dent on the road so big and sharp it could burst any unattentive tire that pass right through it, an unaligned concrete barriers at the expressway, a sudden halt of a rushing vehicle in front of you, and so on and so forth. I could nitpick on the thousand forms death has taken in order for it to be welcomed, for it to be embraced by me.

I don't know how to tune out the voice of death as it babbled like the gush of a river inside my head. It was like flirting with disaster every now and then, as it continues to assault my senses and endanger my driving. Maybe it was my instincts who brought me safely to my destination. My conscious mind couldn't belabor the depths of these line of thoughts.

It took me a few more minutes before i got off the car. Sir Jun, who parked beside my car, flashed his smile upon seeing me and went away with a good morning greeting while noting that my driving has improved i can very well join a race, a drag race that is, with my big muffler.

"I was racing with death." I could have answered.

But instead, i flashed him a simper and walked through the entrance gate.