Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I am so back in my den.

I am so back in my den. Missed a lot of action here, friday night and my smartbro connection was dead, the canopy fell down the next morning, and the closest thing after all of this tragedy is being able to finish reading a lot of books.

Seemed like a very long weekend for me. I was out sweating my sweetie to Burol friday afternoon, goodness gracious i wasn't expecting it to be a very tough ride. But thanks to Kuya Umi for the invites, i had a great time [and a great stomach >:)] I missed the barrio fiesta we had in Buntog back when i was little [and malnourished =)) ] I missed the grand festivities of having the whole barrio offering thanks to the Almighty for the bountiful year, and the cordial warmth welcome of each neighbor inviting you to partake in their prepared food. Food and fun galore. I feel kinda sad that i live in the province but these kind of celebrations are seldom practiced anymore, with everyone being busy making money to mark their survival.

Saturday off from work got us all OSA Servi to Laiya, Batangas where we had the usual extraordinary fun and great bonding. I am so blessed to have them in times like this, when all i need is to constantly remind myself that i need to cut through the waves in order for me to reach the shores. Very blessed to be sorrounded with real good and treasured friends like them, they will always hold a special place in my heart. The pictures? I forgot the memory card back home, so please wait until further posting =))

Weekend and i was slouching back home for the whole day. I was helping my dad with the chores, arranging everything and cleaning in as much as i could. I wasn't expecting house renovation would really be THIS TOXIC. The dust and dirt had our health infected with skin diseases aggravated. During idle times, I'd flip the pages of the book i really got addicted to, while battling with the terrifying temperature rise in the country. When i am overfilled with busyness, my mind gets cranky and therefore takes itself into a halt, ready to process distressing and depressing thoughts. Why i am stuck here on a weekend all by myself, when every one is out in pairs, beating the heat of the day with the warmth of their beating hearts. And finally, i was again brooding =))[ Is there any superhero for me? Nasaan? :'( ] These are only some of the forces beyond my control and understanding, too much drag in my mental machinery straining my sanity. My quest, tainted by the thought of making myself disappear in the annals of history, always stay undefeated with this convulsion of suicidal thoughts. SO i resolve to stay where i am, bury my head under the pages of my books and instill in me the lives that i won't be able to lead.

And Oh, it's Mother's Day last sunday. I love my mother, and how i wish to be with her the soonest time possible. Please.

Monday and it's PCOS and Smartmatic day. Lined up for more than three hours just to exercise at least a single mark that i am a Filipino. The voting really sucks big time. I really felt so deprived of a good if not a better system. It irritates me the most having worked as an events planner. GGGrrrrrrrrrrr.

what the P.

I decided to spend quality time with my dearest sweetie if i am not able to spend a single minute with a someone special. [Can't you just feel the bitterness brimming on me? hahaha]

Change oil, tune-up, brake check-up, sparkplug replacement, vacuum cleaning, body wash, tire black. Sometimes i wish i have someone with me, to accompany me, if not perform all these stuffs. But anyways, the machismo in me could very well do it, on my own.

Why the heck am i so bitter the past few days. hahaha. I gotta hate myself.

Ahhh my life. A bit crappy sometimes. I'm giving you until the end of month to breathe. I'm still thinking, maybe i am close to deciding to surrender. In a few more days, i gotta give up. Stop trying. Because at some point in time, all things must end.

Like this nonsense blabbing.