Wednesday, March 9, 2011


I was lost last night. Sudden quirks on my emotional stability. I needed to die last night. If only i could.

I was determined to beat the crap in me. Admittedly, it has always been this heavy, the load getting heavier and heavier as my uncle continuously punctures the wounds i so keep on healing. It was madness. I wanted a bullet blasting off right in the center of my cerebrum.

It was just right that i left my maggy to my cousin for a bath. Had i gotten it beside me, i could have plunged it in my sea of angst and raging hormones.

I was so hurt, it was so painful, everything about me is crap.

I say me and uncle are both scarred. We both have been mired too long in the muck of insanity. Repressed emotions of failures and disappointments. And to let it resurfaced in the fore is to put each other at the risk of ending one's life. Say i am prepared.

I don't know.