APOLOGY

In the early 1990s, a tractor mechanic from China nicknamed Steelhead (Jackie Chan) enters Japan illegally, in search of his girlfriend Xiu Xiu (Xu Jinglei). Steelhead and his friend, Jie (Daniel Wu) meet in the busy Shinjuku district of Tokyo and take manual labouring jobs to earn money. When Steelhead finds out that Xiu Xiu has married a Japanese Yakuza leader named Eguchi (Kato Masaya), he decides to remain in Japan. To obtain citizenship, he agrees to work for Eguchi as a killer, but quickly becomes used to the power. Soon he has become embroiled so deeply in the ways of the yakuza that there is no turning back.

I was watching Shinjuku Incident last night with of course a heavier heart and soul due to an incident minutes ago that almost got me broken. I cracked the most stupid joke to someone and was having the most difficult time apologizing for my stupidity. Too bad i was also feeling a bit disoriented about the way things are going with my career. Add to that the slight fever and chills i had contacted an hour ago from my aunt.

When my all-time favorite Daniel Wu (Jie) died in the film, i was crying hard not only because the gravity of the drama had sank in, but also because i was feeling so low about myself just as Daniel Wu in the film. And in as much as i want to explain myself as i apologize for what i had said, it felt like a chance to do so was very very slim. I was crying hard which made my temperature rise for a bit, and all i could to is to grope for the slight tinge of hope that maybe just before i close my eyes, i would be forgiven.

I really didn't mean what i said.

I'm sorry.