HOPEFUL

I never stopped praying every single day for better things to come. Hopeful that in time, i would be able to understand things and accept with all my heart the fate that has been there for me.

:)

REVELING IN MY SOLITUDE

reveling in my solitude.
me.
alone.

STRESSED

FISHBOL AT IHAW-IHAW

Ang sarap ng fishballs at ihaw-ihaw kahapon...
pero mas lalong masarap pag kasama mo si Agnes at Jojit sa pagtusok at pagkagat.

Wala ng mas sasarap pa sa pagkakaibigang pinatatag
ng walang katapusang awayan at asaran, iyakan at tawanan..
at ng mahabang panahon ng pagbibigayan..

FARCE

A thought has passed through my mind while i was sleeping. A dream, yes, almost every night i do have, as reflections of my subconscious.. well, maybe. Sigmund Freud, best known for his theories of the unconscious mind, says that dreams are more often forgotten entirely. Sometimes, i tend to ignore my dreams, but more often, i don't, as i do remember the intricate details of it.

What did i just have last night?

Ahhh... a friend of mine has spoken to the fictional character with superhuman powers of invisibility.

Farce.

:'(

BOOKWORMBOOKWORMBOOKWORMBOOKWORM

relax.
new books.
new life.
aylabit.

See you on monday

Goodbye work. Uwian na.
See you on Monday

march 19, 2010

1 2 0

MAGIC

A friend once told me that he doesn't believe in magic. If there really is, it would have at least kept me and toyo together. But then, that's got nothing to do with magic. Hahaha.

Actually, i don't believe in it either, ejusdem generis. But i do get really amazed when someone puts me in a state of false perception, having put up deceptive moves and mysterious tricks performed as an entertainment.



Kudos to magician Jay for this one. Super smooth moves and superb performance. Too bad i didn't get to record your coin routine, that's where i really got super amazed. You're a champ!

But the greatest magic i've ever seen? Hhhhmmmnnn.

*ting*


:'(

031810

Thursday Morning.
Yawning.
Driving.
Hmmmnnnn.
Was it a more peaceful sleep last night amidst all my weary sobbing and distressing thoughts?



keep distance.
So distant that i wouldn't be able to remember a thing. If only.



IS THIS LIFE?

:'(

Memories have tremendous power, however we so resolutely neglect it, to shape, reshape and misshape us. Deym.

SO off i went.. again.. to the bookstore.. with tears gathered at the edge of my eyes. I am really having a rough day today, as i feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. Life dragged on uneventfully as memories flashed with painful intensity. This is a competence of epic proportions,i say to myself, but i somehow need not be reminded of how difficult it is to brave the storms in my life.

Bookstore stop. Robert Fulghum. Hardbound. Kind of expensive. I have my own paperback copy, but there's something in this edition that makes me desperate for it to rest on my shelf.
Nevertheless, it is a BIG no-no. Gotta save some for the rainy days.



My ransacking had me at a halt, with a familiar title.



With a hard knot in my throat, i left the bookstore right before i froze in my track out of intensified longing.

Memories have tremendous power, however we so resolutely neglect it, to shape, reshape and misshape us. Deym.

Memories are the only things that stay the same when everything else changes

It's just a blue scarf.
A lifeless fabric ...

... that reminds me of my happiest days on earth

:'(

Memories are the only things that stay the same when everything else changes

:'(

SPLUUUUURRRRRRGGGGGEEEE

I am way too depressed the past few months.
Whew.
Thought's a crap.
I just hell wished i know why this has to happen.
Crap.
I'm ill.
That's it.
No more. No less.
I just despise the fact that i am missing something in my life.
:'(

My Greatest Antidote:
BOOKS

SPLUUUUURRRRRRGGGGGEEEE!!!!!

My feet has brought me to a sacred place called bookstore this afternoon.



The staff offered me a seat as i almost slouched on the floor looking for other titles that was on the bottom shelf.

So i look like an addict neh?

I went home with a heart brimming with so much pleasures as i take home some pretty good titles from well known authors.

I got a Dave Barry to add in my collection. Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

*bookworm mode*

I sometimes wish the cards had fallen differently on me

Back here.

Been sick every afternoon and night. While the cloud seeding operations had successfully induced artificial rain in areas hardest hit by the drought, i was unfortunate to have been hit by the not-so-artificial-debilitation.

Had been so hardworking that i didn't get warier about getting soaked and wet under this artificial rain. (may halong bola un ) Occasional flu-like symptoms every afternoon had me bolted on the bed, flipping through the pages of the Dear John book that ADY had given last week.

I so got used to feeling weaker each day. The more i try to stay happy, positive and stronger, the more my malady counteracts and keeps me always at bay.

I sometimes wish the cards had fallen differently on me.

PARK LIGHT

I left my park light open this morning. And a stream of messages and calls saying i really did had my phone beeping and ringing in this cold summer morning of March12.

Such an act of kindness from my dear friends. I really appreciate the fraction of their precious time (and load!) allotted to just informing me of the latter. And being helped on the first quarter of the day has given me a sense of joy, tons of happiness from an act of kindness done to me.

Now i got to pay it forward and find my own time and space to do a random act of kindness.

BOOKWORM

Logging off . . .

I NEED AN ANTIDOTE

I NEED AN ANTIDOTE.
MY JOB SUCKS BIG TIME.




PULL. PLEASE. WILL YOU?

If You Forget Me

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

If You Forget Me
by
Pablo Neruda

THE LIVING FORCE

Obi-Wan Kenobi: I have a bad feeling about this.
Qui-Gon Jinn: I don't sense anything.
Obi-Wan: It's not about the mission, Master. It's something... elsewhere. Elusive.
Qui-Gon: Don't center on your anxieties, Obi-Wan. Keep your concentration here and now, where it belongs.
Obi-Wan: But Master Yoda says I should be mindful of the future.
Qui-Gon: But not at the expense of the moment. Be mindful of the living Force, my young Padawan.
(The Phantom Menace)

**************


loving the sun on a march 10 morning