Saturday, December 25, 2010


The last 24th of this year isn't the first night that i welcomed Christmas all by myself. I have spent some few years back walking my way home from the 24th evening mass just in time for 12 midnight. I have been accustomed to my solitary life during yuletide seasons, but not much having too much aversion for the holidays.

I spent the last few hours of the 24th attending the evening mass. The attendees scattered in front of the church tripled in density, but i managed to squeezed myself inside enough for me to see and hear clearly the mass celebration. Standing for straight three hours with almost little or less air is no mean feat,but with the graces of the good Lord, the skills of endurance i have long mastered in my COCC training have resurfaced. When families were asked to kiss and hug their loved ones, i knelt down, closed my eyes and pray for my loved ones who used to be by my side during this time of the year. It was then that i felt a tiny fang of pain.

I welcomed Christmas with a plate of spaghetti my sister Lai gave in late afternoon, a slice of chocolate cake my sister Lei had baked. I haven't touched the leche plan and graham cake both my sisters had given also, it got me too full digesting the thoughts i had in my mind. I missed my dad's call before dinner, got too busy helping out my sister in her bakery. My uncle's been snoring inside the room, too much alcohol intake before i went off to church. I called in the dogs to feast with me with their own plate of spaghetti and few bread slices. How cool it is to spend my Christmas eve with our dogs :)

Despite the never ending stream of Christmas parties and socials i had, the merry making aren't always really merry. Alone in the table, I miss the times we spend Christmas all together. Most families experience this kind of extinction of members, but each has to move on with their own lives, with their own families. The one that is left behind may feast on the leftovers.. leftovers in their less visible form called memories, stored in the refrigerator of the mind and cupcake of the heart.