SYMBIANIZE MEMENTOES

THE SYMBIANIZE MANSION

doodling with global360

pede na ba kaming glafik altisk?

THE COUCHERS

good times. good times.

i miss you all.


visit:
www.symbianize.com

START UP II

My uncle did me a very big favor of starting the engine this morning. Yipeeeeeee.

I am low in spirits.

START UP

I am always havin' a lot of trouble starting my car engine every morning. Whew. This has become a real obstacle for the super tardy me as i allot little or almost no time for adjustments like this.

Cold engines might experience problems at the time to start due to different reasons:

* Gasoline evaporates less when it is cold, so it is harder to burn

* Oil gets thicker when cold, and so it is very difficult to have it circulated at the start. I'm just quite not sure how good the synthetic oil i am using is performing at cold temperatures. I will check it later :D

* Batteries loose agility when cold and so it doesn't function properly. The chemical reactions take place more slowly when the battery produces fewer electrons, thus less energy to work with during start up.

It is not only my car engine that is havin' a lot of difficulty during the start of the day. My internal engines are malfunctioning also, and this has always struck a resonating chord in my mind. Most of the times, it is during the start of the day that i resort to oblique ways of pointing at something, an existential act i have been accustomed to. Bent out of shape, never good enough for a heads-up, but i always have to overcome these difficulties in order for me to keep the engine of my life running smoothly.

SANA BUKAS OK NA KO

Sana bukas ok na ko :D

:pray:

stoking the embers

stoking the embers...

and he was flying the whole night in my dreams...

and he was flying the whole night in my dreams... i almost don't wanna wake up...
022810

I am still in trance.

I just now realized how my morning mantra has been changed over this long course of waiting.

The usual Vedic hymn had been replaced unconsciously by my utmost desire to hear something, if not everything, as to what the hell happened to the protagonist of the comic book of my life. Whew.

I had been rationally fighting the instillation of these things in my subconsciousness, as i try my very best to keep myself occupied with various things that would highly divert my attention.

Hell, i don't know how to tame those provoking thoughts.

In my silent meandering, i still find myself amused with the euphoric thoughts of his presence, still giggling with our insanities, and still munching on sweet memories of yesterday. A damsel in distress was saved by a knight in shining armour. Aaahhhhh.. this is life.

I am still in trance.

I need to get back to my usual self.

10 Lessons I Learned from FarmVille

reposting a blog from stephen cuyos about the farmville game i kind of also got addicted:

*********************

10 Lessons I Learned from FarmVille

FarmVille is a Facebook game which allows members of the popular social network to plant, grow and harvest fruits and vegetables as well as raise animals on one’s virtual farm.

I only started playing FarmVille five days ago and, as of this writing, I am now at level 14 with 45,431 coins and 4248 XP. You can say that I am a dedicated farmer. Most of the animals and trees I own are gifts from fellow farmers. The more I play FarmVille the more I enjoy the real-time flash game. One time I had to reschedule my dinner to harvest my crops on time.

FarmVille

Here are ten lessons I learned while tending my virtual farm.

1. Growth takes time, effort, and lots of patience. You cannot hurry the crops. Or make your cows produce milk in seconds. Growth is neither sudden nor easy. It is a process which requires that one step be completed successfully before proceeding to the next.

2. There are always elements that will try to stifle your growth. In FarmVille you have to deal with leaves, weeds, and crows. I real life you have to deal with difficult situations and people who discourage you and try to pull you down.

3. But don’t worry about leaves, weed, and crows – your neighbors will always come to your aid. Look around, you are never alone. Believe in the goodness of others.

4. Helping others clean up leaves, scare off crows, or kill weeds not only give you extra coins and XP but also make you a better neighbor. Whenever I receive messages like this – “Hiya, Fr.! Just look at these leaves! Would you help me rake them up?” I always click “yes”. My main motive is not to gain more coins and XP but to return the favor to people who have also helped me keep my own farm clean and healthy.

5. The more gifts you give, the more gifts you receive.
This is true in FarmVille. This is also true in real life. It was Orison Swett Marden who said “We must give more in order to get more. It is the generous giving of ourselves that produces the generous harvest.”

6. If you don’t harvest on time, your plants will wither. Just as in FarmVille, to succeed in real life you have to do the right thing at the right time.

7. You can share your triumphs with others. In Farmville you can share your rewards in the form of bonuses. I know of some people who regularly check their Facebook feeds to see if any of their friends have recently won any ribbons. For there they will find the option to earn a bonus from them. The better the ribbon the more coins you will get.

8. You need to work hard to get what you want and need. Aside from plowing, planting and harvesting and dealing with leaves, weeds and crows, you also have to budget your time and coins. You also need to buy the right seeds, trees and animals for optimum profit. Believe me, it can be complicated. If you want to succeed in FarmVille you have to work hard. If you want to succeed in life you have to work harder. As David Bly puts it – “Striving for success without hard work is like trying to harvest where you haven’t planted.”

9. You do not become a Good Samaritan through a single act of kindness. You need to help other farmers hundreds of times before earning your Good Samaritan ribbon. In the same way, you do not become a good person just by doing one single act of goodness. You need to be a good person, a “good samaritan” repeatedly and consistently.

10. After a harvest there must plowing and sowing again. Such is life. The end of something is the beginning of another one. And I hope that as you complete one step in your life may you begin the next one as a person who has matured and learned his lessons. Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.

http://stephencuyos.com/10-lessons-i-learned-from-farmville/

INTERSECTIONS

LOG IN: 7:30am

Clocked in late for work today. I got stuck in traffic at the Greenfield- Sta. Rosa-Tagaytay intersection. Apparently, stalled in the intersection was an image of collision of a delivery truck and a shuttle bus. I wasn't able to snap a pic of the incident, a very downside to being the master of the steering wheel when on the road.

not moving

With all the vehicles restlessly creeping and lined up bumper to bumper to pass the point of accident, i was also creeping like an anxious turtle, careful not to be side swiped by the relatively irresponsible shuttle buses who'd like to fallow their own roads irregardless of the situation.

Being stuck for quite a longer period has given me the luxury of time to reflect on the very incident that had gotten into me yesterday, at what i have considered the intersection of my life.

I was in the middle of the crossroad, confused, scared, yet brave enough to choose the path that i deem necessary, even if unsure i was if it was the right one. I amused myself by looking at the windows of tomorrow, that maybe, a bright future shall take place shall i decide to take a step outside my comfort zone. Pessimism is a thing bent out of shape while i am at the crossroad.

But all of a sudden, a thing happens, two things collide, and block the path that i chose. Where am i to go now?

Frankly, i do not know.

I stayed inside the bubble of my car and pose so many questions that i cannot answer. I seemed to look at the experience as a test to my mobility, an intriguing puzzle to be solved in the days to come.

I stand confused and scared at the intersection of my life.

But then, life has to move on. The cars have to roll and cross the intersection ever so slowly and carefully, with safety in their consciousness and the goal that they have to reach their destination. Things happen for their very own reasons, and for now, i can only rely on God's will as to where i would be led.

MAKE OR BREAK

Not just an ordinary day for me, but a make or break one.

Whew.

God bless me.

was i suppose to believe at all the rosy rhetoric?

was i suppose to believe at all the rosy rhetoric?

MANHID

I realized i am kind of feeling numb lately.

Manhid.

CLICK

click.
click.
click.

waiting.

MORNING BLESSING

The skies may be a bit grey clad, but the sun never failed to impress me. I had to stop and snap a morning blessing. God indeed has wondrous ways of brightening our gloomy days.

live traffic feed

je

missing je :'(

Love Remains The Same

Love Remains The Same
GavinRossdale

a thousand times i've seen you standing
gravity like a lunar landing
make me want to run till i find you
shut the world away from here, drift to you, you're all i hear
everything we know fades to black

half the time the world is ending, truth is i am done pretending

i never thought that i had any more to give
pushing me so far here i am without you
drink to all that we have lost, mistakes we have made
everything will change, love remains the same

find a place where we escape
take you with me for a space
a city bus that sounds just like a fridge
walk the streets through seven bars
i had to find just where you are
the faces seen to blur they're all the same

half the time the world is ending, truth is i am done pretending

i never thought that i had any more to give
you're pushing me so far here i am without you
drink to all that we have lost, mistakes we have made
everything will change, love remains the same

so much more to say, so much to be done
don't you trick me out, we shall overcome
cause our love stays ablaze

we should have had the sun
could have been inside
instead we're over here

half the time the world is ending, truth is i am done pretending
too much time to love defending, you and i are done pretending

i never thought that i had any more to give
you're pushing me so far here i am without you
drink to all that we have lost, mistakes we have made
everything will change, everything will change

oh, i.........

this could last forever

oh, i........

we could last forever

love remains the same
love remains the same

_____________________________

when will i ever learn to smile again
:'(

just get ur heart back

qq: Pot, depression is not something you have to get used to. Hindi yun isang hobby na
kinakasanayan. It's an illness that needs to be cured.

qq: I wouldn't say na naiintindihan ko pinagdadaanan mo, dahil hindi ko maiintindihan not unless
we share the same sickness. But, I'm here, your friends are there.. lots of them.. you know, its
an insult when you get so depressed with us around.

qq: Hindi nmn sa maghihintay ka, just get ur heart back.

HAPPY PEANUTS

I've gotten myself kind of addicted to feeding the entire raw meat between my ears. Am munchin' on peanuts, as it is loaded with a lot of protein to boost our brain functions.

Not that my brain is currently malfunctioning. But i am a bit worried that despite all the mechanical works this three-pound raw-meat motor has been doin, from breathing stimulation to blood transportation to protein traffic and all the chemistry and electricity it has been made to function, it has taken a halt into processing other thoughts than the superhero. Motor malfunction? Needs a rewinding?

Our brain is made up of entirely raw meat. One cubic centimeter of it contains ten billion bits of information, processed at five thousand bits a second. It contains all the information gathered over a period of time. The aroma of a freshly-brewed coffee, the stale oozing smell of the Japanese expats, the specific gravity of SKD61 metal, the face of the superhero when we first caught a glimpse at each other, the history of manila, the points of discussion of Koran and Holy bible, the pills that i take, how to drive my car, the songs of happiness and everything i do and will do that will pass through this lump. It is the most mysterious thing on earth.

I hate the idea that despite its general design of process information, it is now operating on a loose consensus, strategically working only on the projections of my heartbeats.

Sigh.

Maybe a peanut will do.

At least the happy one.

IF THE MOON FELL DOWN TONIGHT

You have no idea what i am feeling right now :'(

witness

silent witness: AFC Tree

HERE FOR YOU

Here For You
Firehouse



So you think you've got it all figured out
Well you know you can't make it alone
Everybody needs somebody to help them out
And you know I could be that someone
And if you ever get lost on life's highway
Don't know where to go
There's just one thing that I want you to know

I am here for you, always here for you
When you need a shoulder to cry on
Someone to rely on, I am here for you

So you think that love is long overdue
Tired of looking for someone to care
Let me tell you now the choice is up to you
But you know I will always be there

I am here for you, always here for you
When you're needin' someone to hold you
Remember I told you
I am here for you
I am here for you

So now you've got it all figured out
And you know you've found someone that cares
And if you ever need somebody to help you out
Well you know I will always be there

And if you ever get lost on life's highway
Don't know where to go
There's just one thing that I want you to know

I am here for you, always here for you
When you're needin' someone to hold you
Remember I told you
I am here for you,
I am here for you


90

CANON IN D

Pachelbel


Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.
~Edna St Vincent Millay

Balik Trabaho

Matapos ang dalawang araw ng pagliban sa trabaho ay balik na naman ako sa bakalan, dala ang malaking tinik sa dibdib na dulot ng pagkabagabag. **epistaxis**

Sinalubong ako ng tatlong plastik ng rosas na mula sa pinakamamahal kong mga kaibigan, aizel at arlyn. Salamat at may nakaalala sa akin noong araw ng mga puso. **epistaxis**

Sinalubong din ako ng inaasahang sanlaksang trabaho. Meron pa bang bago? **epistaxis**

Hindi ko na nakuhang makapag umagahan pa noong alas nwebe. Trabahong tapat kaagad. At nang ako ay magkaroon ng pagkakataong makapagkape man lang, ay bahagya pa nitong natapunan ang aking planner. Hmmmnn.. Choosy ang incident, namili pa ng espesyal na date.

Nakakabagot.

Mamaya kukunin ko na si sweetie sa mekaniko.
Miss na miss ko na ang kotse ko.
Lalo na ang superhero :'(

the longest mile i've ever walked

the longest mile I've ever walked is the one away from you
:'(

"The examined life is no picnic."

"The examined life is no picnic."
- Robert Fulghum

?

CRYING PRINCESS

Mou leipeis

Mou leipeis

FEBRUARY 14

ain't got any plan.

SPY CAM

May spy cam na din sa engg building :-ss Say goodbye to plants vs zombies :-"

The installation of the spycams in the all the buildings of our company has been one of the many countermeasures against security threats being received by the latter. There had been numerous (all the while we have thought of as humorous, hehe) threats thrown at the company with the intention of inflicting injury, damage and other hostile actions. Some of these exist in the form of frank calls telling the receiver that a bomb shall explode inside. (Kaboom! that's the downside to not having a caller ID feature. tsk tsk) well, frankly, we were indeed laughing our asses off as we don't really know how real the bomb threat was or were they just referring to a magazine with all those you know.. voyeure.. left inside the company premises. Another thing was the impending eradication of all the files in the server. Whoah. And the Afternoon Bosses (Anong ingles sa tagalog sa afternoon? =))) were kind of "threatened" to this breach of security.

One thing leads to another. Sure enough, most fingers would point to the current labor dispute as the root cause for this kind of disturbance. Hmmmnn. As for my humble opinion, there are levels of naked judgments that elevate simple imaginings into obdurate conclusions. I dunno. Must be levels of deprivation that elevate desires or cravings into quixotic wants. I still dunno. (What the heck do i still know! @$#@##% =))

Anyways, i have no quibbles with those cameras being installed everywhere. (Here.. there.. and eeveryyyywheeeeeeeeere..) It just does feel like one of those housemates in Big Brother, you get watched 24/7 by whoever watches on that server.

LUNCH BREAK

020910 Sony DSCW130

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -

that myth is more potent than history.

I believe that dreams are more powerful than facts -

That hope always triumphs over experience -

That laughter is the only cure for grief.

And I believe that love is stronger than death.

by Robert Fulghum

It Was On Fire When I Lay Down On It

Lunchbreak.
020910.
Feasting on Robert Fulghum's wisdom.
Yummy.

The Time Of Times

The Time Of Times
Badly Drawn Boy


Oh, sweet morning
Is your head not right
Did you hear my warning
This is the time of times

And your head feels like your body
You mind is close behind
There’s a teardrop on your shoulder
Says this is the time of times
It’s the time of times again

This is the time of times
It’s the time of times again

Oh, sweet morning
And your head's not right
Did you hear my warning
This is the time of times

And your head feels like your body
Your mind is close behind
There’s a teardrop on your shoulder
Says this is the time of times
It’s the time of times again

The time of times
Yeah this is the time of times

*********Last Song Syndrome*********


Time of times indeed, was stuck in traffic for 3 quarters. Arrived at the office just in the nick of time. Time of times indeed.

The moon smiled at me this morning.

The moon smiled at me this morning.


020910 Sony DSC W130

STRETCHED

When i am driven by forces beyond my control and understanding, too much drag in my mental and emotional machinery, all i need is just a little stretch to be able to shift into a gear that could handle the load.

leftovers

"Leftovers in their less visible form are called memories. Stored in the refrigerator of the mind and the cupboard of the heart." - Robert Fulghum (Uh-oh: Some Observations From Both Sides Of The Refrigerator Door)

Southern Reflections

Southern Reflections
020709
De La Salle - Canlubang

SINE CURVE

Sometimes, I really get to the point when I no longer have the courage to stay in my current job. I just want to quit without even thinking what my life would be after i walked out of that door.

:D

I just don't feel like stretching my patience to get through this day.

Wants to go home at 3pm.

Wallow in misery. Wallow in regrets. Wallow in everything i'd like to do.

:D

Wash my clothes. Clean my mess. Clean my car. Eat all i could.

Photoshop. PC Suite. Vegas.

Ebooks.

Brain Sync. Audiobooks.

Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.

:D

Periodic oscillations of constant amplitude.

Sine Curve.

What a life.

"Nagmamadali ka ba?"

Thursday bright morning, and i am speeding up to 130kph on SLEX. Not that I'll be late for work, in fact i am way too early, but pressing harder on the accelerator as a reflex for an epinephrine rush, being the adrenaline junkie me. Haven't done it for quite some time, either I'm saving up on fuel through efficient driving at 80-90kph, or i could fathom some internal voices asking me to slow down and drive safely because i am in no race.

Well not for today. I hear no blabber pleading me to stop my insanity, and i got my tank full yesterday.

There i go again with my vicious vice of CLICKING AND DRIVING. *big evil grin*

I just felt the need to be with myself. A feeling of unity, oblivion and mindlessness in the best sense of the word. Has someone forgotten my existence? Sigh.

Grope again for my pink W130 and ... CLICK.

Bright thursday morning. How many mornings will i ever have to wake again to find my superhero sitting on the passenger seat and pressing the shutter towards the powerlines embossed on a clear blue sky? As i revved the engine harder, i suddenly hear an utterance that wrung out of my perverted head... "Nagmamadali ka ba?"

Swoosh.

It felt like being doused with a pail of water. Slowly, i raised my foot away from the accelerator, and began to slow down, as the greeneries flick past the windows.

And i am reminded that inside my very own car, i am being guided by the euphoric remnants of my dear superhero.

the knight has wings

who holds the key (chain) to my heart :P



meet my friends. named the big pink one DARYO >:)

WHERE'S THE MOON?

I missed the moon, haven't seen it for the past two nights. Must be hiding behind the clouds, as the stars twinkle brightly in different hues. When will i ever get to soar again to ecstatic highs as i gaze at the wonders of the nights ornaments?

BRAINLESS

Scarecrow: I haven't got a brain... only straw.
Dorothy: How can you talk if you haven't got a brain?
Scarecrow: I don't know... But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking... don't they?
Dorothy: Yes, I guess you're right.

-The Wizard of Oz

My fuel gauge blinked empty this morning

My fuel gauge blinked empty this morning. My laziness has paid off as i pass on filling it for the last two days.

My fuel gauge, notoriously inaccurate as it is, makes me think that i have less fuel than i actually do. By the way, there's a technical reason to it's inaccuracy :D (see How Fuel gauges Work ) So off i stretched my car's mileage enough to reach my workplace, sometimes it blinked empty, sometimes it didn't. By the time i clocked in, the gauge stopped blinking and stayed on its empty signal. Super blessed me. Just in the nick of time.

More often, it feels like I'm running on an empty tank, with the signals flashing all together at a time. I often wonder how this happens with all the vast resources of God at my disposal, maybe because i get too lazy or ignorant of the things that could get me a better mileage at life.

Funny how i see my life in this fuel gauge. Reads empty but keeps on running. Do i view things notoriously inaccurate?

Perhaps...

I DO.

edited

"na photoshop mo to no?"

He was referring to my sunrise pic last 0130.

"there are times when the moment itself while you are snapping the photo is what matters most than the array of colors your camera could take." - lois

ROFL.

Well, yeah, i did some post processing. But only to the removal of some dark spots due to my sensor that badly needs some cleaning. And the borders too.

But the picture itself?Ahh no. Never. Never shall i alter the natural beauty of sunrise. Ba't pa ko gigising ng madaling araw para maghabol ng golden hours kung pede ko naman gawin sa photoshop. WTF.

TRABAHO LANG

Napakahirap ng araw na 'to.

:(

Kesa isipin ko kung gano kabigat ung nararamdaman ko.. ibabaon ko na lang ulit ang ulo ko sa trabaho.

Parang kulang pa ang 7-7 sked para sa TRO ng negative thoughts.

8 na kaya makauwi.

Para mas maganda ung sky. Mas madaming stars. Tapos takbo ako 130kph sa Eton. Swoosh. Sarap nun.

SUNRISE 020210

I have always been fascinated by nature's wonders, like a sun rising on a horizon while blooming in all its glory.

As i look forward to seeing the sunrise everyday, i can't help but immerse myself into its blinding rays, bathing me in its light that is seeping through my very eyes.

And the memory of that sunrise shall follow me throughout the day.

I Thank the Lord for another day.





Can't resist to snap a pic of the sunrise while driving my way to the office.
Eton Road, 020210, SOny DSCw130

Yep i know. Don't click and drive. But i just can't resist.

:(

Sedated excitements of domesticity.

I was killing time on a lazy monday afternoon (yep, im at work. haha) when i decided to scan my yahoo inbox and peek through my spam folder.

There seemed to be something interesting to one of the spam mails, as the subject reads "hi (sketches)" . I felt a rush of exaltation, as i discerned that this is something related to my blogsite SKETCHES, so there i was, the curious me, opened the email, and JARAN!!!

hi i cam across your blog when i search on bob ongs quotes i find you blog very interesting can i add you up on my la liga blog section sa blog ko? www.pixeledmind.blogspot.com you can also add my blog on your list if you like. thanks willo wait for your reply.

I immediately clicked on the blogspot link and lo and behold, i was more than perplexed to discover an almost equal organism of my alien world.

I am not a proponent in splitting universes, but browsing through the blogger profile and his posts, it felt as if we were both in a translucent moment of different spaces. I had goosebumps really. It was as if i am looking straight in a mirror. Same movies, same books, same canon in d, same interests... all those things rang a hundred bells inside me.

Whoah.

Strange ne?

Made an effort to contact the blogger through the contact info he left on his email. I was given the opportunity to speak to him, (thanks for the virtual insanity) and told me that he felt exactly the same when he came across my sketches.

Sedated excitements of domesticity.

It felt home after my discovery that someone out there could co-exist in my own labyrinth of surprises, as i communicate my life and stories, my oddity, my stupidity and my whole heart and soul in my one and homey space... SKETCHES.

There's eternal beauty in the sunrise in the sky, but none of these and nothing else can match the beauty that I remember in my superhero's eyes.

There's eternal beauty in the sunrise in the sky, but none of these and nothing else can match the beauty that I remember in my superhero's eyes.

013010
Tagaytay

the moon is watching over me tonight

the moon is watching over me tonight
012910, sony dscw130


tonight..
i wonder...
if he sees the moon as i see it
if the wind blows colder where he stands
if the stars shine brightly where he peeks
if he ponders on his princess before he sleeps.

tonight...
i pray to God to keep him safe
to keep him strong and hold on to faith
and to give him strength
to face the morrow.

goodnight my superhero.

DEAD BEAT

dead beat.

ako.. ako.. lagi na lang ako.

WTF

When your superman's not around, don't do anything reckless or stupid.

I've been working harder and harder the past few weeks as i watched the days flick past the windows of my life. The first month of 2010 is taking its toll on the worried princess, wondering whether she was watching the spectacle of the steady emptying or the replenishing in the most mysterious ways she can imagine.

Amidst all the worries and aches... I am holding on to a promise.

QQ posted a comment for me this morning: When your superman's not around, don't do anything reckless or stupid :P ( Edward on my mind ):)

I will.
Promise.
Take good care of myself and be safe always.

No goodbyes.

Anyhow and anyways, I spent a moment last night with the remnants of my superhero.

Too much worries rattling in my fettered brain

It's rainin' on the early morning of the last week of the first month of 2010.

Tuesday, though fastidious about my personal appearance, i seemed like spindled and mutilated on the inside, secretly slovenly about everything else. I am somewhat kind of gauche today, as sermon from the boss had always been a morning staple here at work. Asked me why i haven't done the job right away, i could have answered that it is not the only work to do that time, but hell i know i couldn't just let go of those words, so i just smiled and replied that i'll get it done asap (in an instant rather, here it is.. ting!)

I could hear my internals chime in with horrible yowling noises. What the hell is my problem?! What the hell is wrong with me?!

Too much worries rattling in my fettered brain.

unanswerables

Another week starter and i hope i will be way better than the last few weeks. The more i think of getting back to my usual self, the more it gets harder.

I haven't filled up the scrapbook for a week because i just can't bear the brunt of getting myself whipped with painful worries and aches. I've been too much troubled for a month, reflected by the sudden pall of depression that is seeping through my very veins. It gets harder each day, and coping is the most difficult part of the matter. I've never been this worried in my entire life. Only now. Just only now.

A plethora of unanswerable is running through my head. Each moment of waiting feels like eternity. I sometimes see myself nearly transforming to the desperate version of me, wanting to speed up space and time to see infinite moments of comfort and security. Where everything is sublime, everything has an aura. Euphoria that is. But when?

Unanswerable.

:(

Pierce me with too much longing.

Why is love intensified by absence?

Why is love intensified by absence?



waiting....

**depression mode**

Feels like i've been working way too much beyond my job description.

:(

I miss the superhero who constantly reminds me that i am his princess..


:(

**depression mode**

YOU MAKE ME SMILE

Smile
Uncle Kracker



You're better then the best
I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler than the flip side
Of my pillow, that's right

Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where
You send me, lets me know that it's okay
Yeah, it's okay
And the moments where my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed
Sing like bird, dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile

Even when you're gone,
Somehow you come along just like
A flower pokin' through the sidewalk crack
And just like that
You steal away the rain, and just like that

You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed
Sing like bird, dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile

Don't know how I lived without you
'Cause every time that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile

You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild

You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed
Sing like bird, dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile
(Oh, you make me smile)
Oh, you make me smile
(Oh, you make me smile)
Oh, you make me smile

***********************************

but i'm crying now ...

If I could ask God one thing, it would be to stop the moon.

"If I could ask God one thing, it would be to stop the moon.
Stop the moon and make this night and your beauty last forever."
- A Knight's Tale

Happiness.
6o

SEQUEL

It's been ages since things kicked into high gear.

Hahaha. kidding aside..

Haven't been around lately. I mean .. i am always around, but sort of doing things with some slack. It's not easy finding the right words and letters and syllables to a feeling put with breathtaking candour.

Nah. Just pure gibberish.

I've been busy doin' the princess' scrapbook.

And i'm good.

Really.

I hope so.

I miss the superhero.

YOU ROCK MY WORLD

I, too, shall be forever grateful, having known someone as wonderful as you.
Someone as cool you, as witty as you, and as cheesy as you.
Superhero You.
Thanks for rocking my world.
i <3 u

SLOW DANCE

A very beautiful and inspiring poem written by a terminally ill young girl in a New York Hospital. It was sent by a medical doctor - Dr. Yeou Cheng Ma.

**************************************************

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask "How are you?"
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say "Hi"?
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over

MY SISTER'S KEEPER

I watched the film My Sister's Keeper last night and hell it was a real tear-jerker. I still remember the first time Ate Kimi had told me about the story squeezing her very own lachrymal glands from start to finish, and i got too interested without a single hint that the prospect of a child's death due to a disease is broached in it.

Cameron Diaz and Jason Patric conceived another child Anna (Abigail Breslin) through genetic engineering to keep her leukemic older sister (Sofia Vassilieva) alive through transfusions and transplants.

The movie wrung an outsize waves of emotion pulsing through my very veins, as i struggle to have my own emancipation from a malady that has been coursing in my life. While watching the film, i became unsure whether the tears were due to the film's audience manipulation, or due to the catharsis that i was undergoing right at that very moment.

I then felt this extreme longing for mom, who'd be at her very best in fighting for my life. I sometimes feel neglected and ignored under our very own roof, with everyone caring less for my sufferings. Maybe it hurts them also that i am into this, and ignorance is the better excuse for the matter.

Hays.

SAD

right now.

Cheers to my very brave superhero!

It's been a week.

Haven't been around lately. Too occupied i must say, with the exhalations of the minds and the titillation of the heart. Uhhmmm. Yeah.

I am sitting here in my desk wandering back into the corridors of my memory, recalling the breeze that carried the fragrant smell of passion, the one that breathed life into my soul.

I lost count of how many times i have tried to soar to the heavens on leaden wings. I have yearned for the gaping spaces of my soul to be filled, longed for the dawn of hope as i face the truth of my world.

And i was caught in the snares of the superhero's warm affection.

hmmmmnnn.

Two things: stupidity and bravery.

Is he stupid enough to walk with me as i continue to battle at the scourge afflicting my body?

Or is he brave enough to soar to the heavens with me, reveling at the marvelous, facing the truth of my world, as Hector came up against Achilles amid certainty of being killed, finding hope in despondency, wrenching triumph from defeat?

Bravery.

He is compelled by a force more elemental than love itself, moving heaven and earth to pull me up to my true heights. And no matter what imbroglio i am in right now, it is his strong character and valiant support i would be very glad to have in these times of adversity.

Frankly, i do not know where I'd be right now had i not gone through this watershed.

Cheers to my very brave superhero!