COLDNESS FROM WITHIN

The night was so cold.

'twas not the temperature drop that's causing shivers to my soul...but the coldness i am feeling from within.

So depressed.

Felt like my life is so pedestrian.

Felt like being imprisoned with this malady. How could i ever get over this one, only a miracle would make it happen.

Last night..it too was hard for me to contain my emotions. Felt like needing some ears that would listen to me, shoulders that would let me lean on.. dunno. I was buzzing hard to a friend, someone i knew would understand me, would somehow stabilize the stupidity in me, and would be able to crack even just a chuckle in me. My fingers almost trembled buzzing at him. But offline he was.

Morning came. Trance i am still in.

Riding in a jeepney on my way to work, I chanced upon a lover, a girl and a lesbian. Their hands were tightly clasped. It might have been the seriousness with which they both spoke or the earnestness of each other's gaze,
they look perfectly fit for each other, they were emitting love bubbles. Never the mind the ones cursing them behind their backs.

I seemed almost cavalier with my confidence.

When was the last time i had my hands tightly clasped
in someone else's?

Uhh. The soonest my memory can serve me is an afternoon i have shared over a Sundae Mcdo and a cute brown teddy somewhere in the north before i went back to south in that same afternoon.

Sigh.