trap

I wonder why it's very difficult to step out of that trap.

I wish time had frozen way back when technotron spells excitement. Or when Hardees is a craving, and when magic is for believers. I wish chikka is an everyday happiness alarm, and when friendship is an oasis in a desert of hullabaloo. Most of the times, i am guilty of self-inflicted pain brought by too much retrospection.

I thought i had gotten over that as things have fallen into places some time and another. All is well between that trap, ironing things out for my own life and for the life of that goddamned shadowmaster. All is well ending well, and those around picking hues of contentment and freedom. I had the best of my life, opening up windows for ambassadors of passion.

I suddenly snapped out of place because of one selfish deed i had committed. But i barely had regrets, if not for the thought of being carelessly stupid, and mindlessly foolish. A mutual desire for an incessant want. A captivity of my own pleasures, for a heart that doesn't even beat. So selfish of me.

Too much retrospection is an electrifying jolt of reality. I could never have what i wanted before, but I could always come back to reminisce the moment when i am so full of everything. I could lurk in this place for some time; extend to an extent of self absorbability, only to be scarred upon returning to my real empty world. Too much pain, too much hurt, too much troubles.

A trap.