DYING dying dying

Lois, you pushed away the one who LOVES you the most...me, regardless whether who you really are. You never game me a chance, never did. I hope you're happy. Take care always...

If telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth meant pushing someone away, i'd rather be a liar for the rest of my life.

Coz i'd never ever want to be alone for the rest of my limited existence.

I didn't push someone away. I just want them to see the real me. ... to go beyond the ordinary me... to reach out to the complexities of my existence.

I am no ordinary.

I am dying sooner than expected. My soul slowly shriveling away with my spirits soaring with laden wings...my last vestige of hopes deserting me little by little...

if sooner i'd be joining the ranks of the desperate, the hopeless, the forgotten... i would then harbor a bunch of sickos to add depravity and desperation to my existence...

for sooner than expected.. i am loosing myself in the process of accepting what fate has brought me...

that is boundless grief and anxiety that has to be let out...