I'm in deep pain...digging deeper to find a reason to live.... i struggled and fretted how to get over this thing. i wanted to find some words that would stick with you, something that would maybe bring you a little peace and hope and wisdom whenever you thought about me...but naturally...the minute i try to come up with something deep and meaningful, my mind goes blank. I want to cry my guts out. I am filled with sadness and emotionally drained.

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Pain. You just cant put it off. All you can do is delay it. Which is the worst thing you can do, because it festers. It grows huge and ugly. It builds up pressure and power. In the end, delaying it means you have more pain to deal with, not less. Because sooner or later, the pain finally breaks through all the defenses and settles in for good, long siege. That pain has no other plans for the foreseeable future. It unpacks its bags and prepares for a lengthy visit.

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Pain has visited me. Longer than i have expected. Maybe even for a lifetime.