BA'T BA ANG CRUEL NG MUNDO NGAUNG ARAW NA TO?

BA'T BA ANG CRUEL NG MUNDO NGAUNG ARAW NA TO?

IDIOTIC ME

Am i the saddest person on earth right at this very moment?
Uhhhh.... saddest is an understatement.
Can't even explain the depths of it.



********

The General Meeting we had at three with the president had our eyes opened for the direness of our plight. The economic global downturn has been seeping through the forging company and the situation come next month, according to our president, would be very, very tough. The customer requirements being reduced to more than half of its usual quantity will put all of us in a very critical situation, upon which the proceedings of the current collective bargaining agreement would greatly be affected. The question now is how do we hold to this job that is the bread and butter of our lives.

******

I was feeling remorseful for being such an idiot.

******

I was so resentful while i was driving that i almost got caught into the snares of death. I almost got collided with a tricycle and got my rear bumped by a truck. Thank God it really wasn't my time.(and the defensive driving thingy worked good enough too!) It was never a good idea driving with a lost soul and broken heart. Focus is the heart of the matter, but how could i do it with my troubled soul burdened with all the sufferings and pain of being such an idiot. Sometimes i would have to make myself believe that i really need to get this pumping red thing void of all emotions so that i could continue to live and be vulnerable to all the hurts and pain around me. Silly me. I need to bang my head on a rock-solid wall.

*****

Anyways, here's a precious moment valentine wallpaper i have made to compensate for my excitement and boredom.. which.. quite didn't get enough appreciation by the one who has inspired me to do it :(



and oh.. i didn't get any clap claps.. but got raked over the coals for being so stubborn :(

IDIOTIC ME...

RECESSION

The usual Fridays do not encourage passing through the Sta. Rosa Complex, which are when Laguna Technopark and nearby Industrial parks disgorge its human contents onto the way to commercial complex.But just yesterday, traffic isn't that heavy. Few shuttles buses are spewing black smokes in the faces and few vehicles are leaving a trail of soot, for there are only few of them rolling on the streets. The usual crowd walking past the bargains and street vendors and the swarm of passengers catching their rides have all diminished in numbers. Seems like the town had been sleeping off the effects of recession as thousands of workers here have lost their jobs.

The country has been reeling from skyrocketing prices of commodities as it faces the specter of economic recession. LPGs are even soaring to astronomical heights due to hoarding of stocks. The crises have come to this country to roost. The battle for survival has been the pivotal concern now. In my own personal account, i really don't know how I'd be able to survive with my meager income, a pay that is too paltry for my ailing existence.

Sometimes, it really scares to be apprised of the direness of our plight. But we need to have our eyes opened for all the possibilities. More and more Filipinos are joining the ranks of the desperate in this era of howling winds of slowdown.

This is the time when we all need to come together and pitch in. Conrado De Quiros once said in his column that dire extremity mutates into new reality altogether. This is the reality that we have to face. We may be bogged down by different crises at one point or say at many points in our lives, but we must be resilient enough to stand amidst this crises.

I admire the response of ka-Arriba Mr. Cesar Baracinas from the Letran Engineering Yahoo Group in response to the recession issue that affected Intel Philippines:

Sent: Wednesday, February 4, 2009 22:37:41
Subject: [letran-calamba- engg] Re: Intel announces RP operations shutdown

i am connected with Intel Philippines and my last day in office is
April 30, 2009; if one door closes, another door will open.

I believe that better and bigger opportunities are waiting for those
who choose to become "overcomers" rather than victims in any
situation. Change happens, we need to learn how to accept change.

I believe we can pass this test - we are generaly resilient and have
a deep faith in God. We say "bahala na!", that's courage.

Courage and inspiration. Faith in God. What else do we need on order to be satiated? God answers clearly but not always quickly.

PBA095s8396p

FRIDAYS

When they say Thank God It's Friday
I always smug with dismay
Because when everybody loves Friday
I despises it all the way.

If it's the last day of their workweek
or the rest day for workers in middle east
Nothing's special on my Fridays
Because I still have regular Saturday work to beat.

I dread the heavy traffic
For which Fridays are always made of
When after office the world disgorges
an avalanche of hyper party-goers.
When sale and discount parties commence
to which the most population would attend
When all ages crowd the churches
with absolute faith on First Friday miracles

Why does everyone go into such a frenzy?
When Fridays are just as ordinary as they should be?

Why are people so obsessed with Fridays
But succumbs to fear when it falls on the 13th?

Fridays.

I struggle for extreme emptiness..
As the wave of emotions pulse through me..
Fridays are never really meant to annoy me.
It's just the insane eccentric stupidity in me.

Out of the way these things I jabber
with jumbled minds, i am crazy scribbler
Admittedly, I'm just missing someone on a Friday..
so just allow me to me have it this way...

HAPPY, RIGHT

How do you make the wrong right?

I've been thinking for quite a long time and still, i really couldn't get it right.

Not all things that could make you happy are right.

Not all right things could make you happy.

DEFINITELY, MAYBE

LLOOOOOOOOOOOVE THIS SCENE:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5i7o0mn2Q18

Will Hayes, a 30-something Manhattan dad is in the midst of a divorce when his 10 year old daughter, Maya, starts to question him about his life before marriage. Maya wants to know absolutely everything about how her parents met and fell in love.

I would love to be April for the rest of my life if only a guy like Will would sweep me off my feet with this kind of proposal....

Will Hayes: I wanna marry you because you're the first person I wanna look at when I wake up in the morning, and the only one I wanna kiss goodnight. Because the first time that I saw these hands, I couldn't imagine not being able to hold them. But mainly, when you love someone as much as I love you, getting married is the only thing left to do. So, will you, um, marry me?
April: Definitely. Maybe.

If only.

Oh so mushy.

Why am i getting a tad sloppy here....

A while ago, i was thinking that maybe, if some things in my life wouldn't work out quite well this time, I'll just put a halt to all this stupidity and close my doors and windows and anything that could just, well, uhhh, add to the infiltration load of my cooling system. Haha. I mean I'm like a total jerk in this field and can't even play well. I am always the loser come sundown and all that's left with me are my..DEAD CELLS :(

Why do i keep killing my happy cells?

:)

Lagi naman ako nawawala.
Tapos bigla na lang ulit susulpot.
Bigla-bigla na lang dadaloy ang creative juices.

Minsan kase walang-wala talaga.
Ayaw magpa-obvious.
Ayaw mag announce.
Bigla na lang ako naging ganito.
Hindi ko alam.
Wla naman akong ginagawang bawal.
Bakit ba ko tago ng tago?

Nasaktan ba ko o masyadong masaya?
Hindi ko din alam.
Neutral.

Pero lagi ko naman hinihila ung sarili ko pabalik dito.
Dito naman talaga ang mundo ko.

Nagbabalik.
LOis.

THE GREATEST ADVICE

THE GREATEST ADVICE
by Rick Warren, the Purpose Driven Life

Don't date because you are desperate.
Don't marry because you are miserable.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.

Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.
Don't dictate because you are smarter.
Don't demand because you are stronger.

Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough & know better.
Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals.
Don't stagnate!

Don't regress.
Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr. Right.
Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr. Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.

Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won, only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.

To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.
Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.

To make yourself happy, pursue your passions & be the best of what you can be.
Simplify your life. Take away the clutter.
Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.

Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.
Be true to yourself.
Don't commit when you are not ready.
Don't keep others waiting needlessly.

Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.
Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.

Write poetry.
Love Deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.

Take care of yourself. Don't wait for someone to take care of you.
You light up your life.
You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you - except YOU.

It isn't true that life does not get easier with age.
It only gets more challenging.
Don't be afraid. Don't lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.

Live your dreams.
Don't lose faith in God.
Don't grow old. Just grow YOU!

When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you'll never get back.
Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give to someone is your time.
Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E because the essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.
God is good all the time!

Bookworm

Habang naghihintay sa aking kaibigan na si Jojit noong araw ng Sabado, ako ay panandalian munang napako sa mga aklat na sa National Bookstore sa Paseo de Sta. Rosa.

Hindi ko napigilan ang aking sarili sapagkat ang aking mga ka tropa ay wari bagang ginayuma ako upang ang aking butihing credit card ay maikiskis na naman. At ako ay pandaliang napailalim sa kanilang mga gayuma sapagkat natagpuan ko na lamang ang aking sarili na nagbabayad ng mga librong tunay nga namang hindi kumawala sa aking mga kamay.

Ahhh.

1. TONGUES ON FIRE. Muli ay makikibaka ako sa mundo ni Conrado De Quiros, ang aking kolumnistang idolo. Idol ka talaga pareng Conrad!


2. Langit nga naman ang aking matitikman kung ito ay aking babasahin. TIKMAN ANG LANGIT: An anthology of the Eraserheads. Wala na talaga akong magagawa. Kasalanan ko bang ako'y lubhang nahuhumaling sa Eraserheads mula noon hanggang ngaun?


3. DAVE BARRY HITS BELOW THE BELTWAY. Dagdag sa koleksyon ko ng Dave Barry, na paborito din ni pareng bob ong. **APir BOB ONG**


Mabuti pa ang aking mga libro. Minamahal ako kahit kung minsan ay nagkukulang ako.
Kung maari lamang na pakasalan ko sila, noon sana ang supling namin ay madami na.

Naisip kong magbalik loob na sa kanila.

WHAT ARE YOU?

Start with the first box in first line & move accordingly and see where u end up in the last line.
I'M A SIMPLE AND ATTRACTIVE GIRL

thanks jin-jin for this email. hahaha.

rock-bottom

What was it like waiting for your Doomsday?
What was it like feeling your last breath?
What was it like hearing those final words?
What was it like seeing your love ones for the final hours?
Why am i still prolonging my life?
... working hard to sustain my existence.
... sweating blood to wake up to each new morning..
is it worth all the suffering?
all the pain?

HAPPY

It's a very bright Thursday morning and my happy cells are rapidly mutating into even happier ones. They have been replicating for over the week and all i could do is just submit myself and have a whale of a time in this trance.

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA : The Inaugural Speech / January 20, 2009

My fellow citizens,

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land — a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America — they will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.

Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions — that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act — not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. All this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions — who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them— that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works — whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account — to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day — because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control — and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our Gross Domestic Product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on the ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart — not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort — even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment — a moment that will define a generation — it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — honesty and hard work, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence— the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed — why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world...that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive ... that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it]."

America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Thank you. God bless you. And God bless the United States of America.

What happened to i-pinoy.org?

What happened to i-pinoy.org?

I have been scouring the lengths of the earth trying to find the answers.

To which i still can't fathom up to this moment.

The site has always been a home to me. A treasure trove of great friendships. I log in always because i can feel the sense of belongingness to a horde of insane creatures trying to bridge the distance through creative means of .... babbling :D Distant people trying to pass off their boredom and homesickness through nonsense and/or kinky rhetorics. Whatever it may be, there really is pleasure in belonging to a nurturing family of i-pinoy, whose roots have been deeply rooted to the simple ideals of strong and great friendships:

WALANG IWANAN. (SLUURRRRRPPPPPPPP!)

I cannot recount how many times the home has gone through the dark days. But maybe, now's the darkest.

No system is perfect. We all go through difficult times. I believe that the light will again burst to end this deepest darkness.

again...

DARKNESS HAS A WAY OF COMPELLING LIGHT BY THE SHEER NEED OF IT.

#

OVERCOMING WEAKNESSES

I love God's message for me today:

(through Jane Gonzales)
We all have defects and weaknesses; after all, we are God’s work in progress. We may have been damaged but it should not be a reason to be discouraged.

There is always a choice in times of afflictions. We can either choose to be buried in depression or we can use the situation to become a better person and be a good example.

No one is without a blemish and it is not something to be ashamed of. It’s a reminder of a wounded past that can be used to heal others.

:)


A very good week starter.

May i be able to overcome my weaknesses and turn it into strengths so that i may inspire others to live each day with vigor and inspiration :)

He is able to deal patiently with the ignorant and erring, for he himself is beset by weakness. – Hebrews 5:2

PRECIOUS MOMENTS

i loooooooooove precious moments

my new symbianize sig. napuyat ako jan. hahaha

MARLEY & ME

I still can't get over Marley, the Labrador clearance puppy John and Jenny had adopted in the flick Marley and Me.

It's just a simple movie depicting the frustrations and rewards of human-canine relationship. A cute and cuddly flick, i wasn't surprised in the labyrinth of emotions that was being wrung out of us, at some points we were laughing for his appalling manners and mischief, only to find ourselves sobbing so hard at the denouement.

from the book Marley and Me:

Was it possible for a dog—any dog, but especially a nutty, wildly uncontrollable one like ours—to point humans to the things that really mattered in life? I believed it was.

Loyalty. Courage. Devotion. Simplicity. Joy. And the things that did not matter, too.

A dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. Status symbols mean nothing to him. A waterlogged stick will do just fine.

A dog judges others not by their color or creed or class but by who they are inside.

A dog doesn’t care if you are rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull.

Give him your heart and he will give you his.

It was really quite simple, and yet we humans, so much wiser and more sophisticated, have always had trouble figuring out what really counts and what does not.

tattoed

My friend recently got his second tattoo. Admittedly, i was mesmerized by his body art: his bold form of self-expression and innovative fashion statement. I love the way the inks are artistically patterned deep into the dermis, such a sweet form of torture to be endured from pricking day one up to healing. hahaha.



Such is not the first time i came across a friend who has gone beyond the curious marriage of pleasure and pain. My Itay Fred got his arms tattooed. Dalobee stamped his shoulder also. Jessie even has it in her back. I've seen a lot of men and women enjoying this visual form of expression. It has become pervasive over time. And would i want to join the club? Hahaha. You bet. If only i would be allowed.

Society has a way of perceiving body modifications depending on the current thinking of the period. Some would have deliberate connotations that persons with tattoo are usually involved in
criminal offenses, drug addictions, assaulted behavior, and other negativities. Such range of motivations have come across the hullabaloos of different social groups.

As they often say, the theories of the past are the comedy of the present. The whole gamut of body modifications has evolved through time and unlimited discussions, from being a deviance to a bold representation of one's own uniqueness, the eagerness to be linked up with a tangible symbol beyond this mundane daily life.

Well. I really want to get a tattoo...

.. that which wouldn't only seat deep in my dermis, but in my heart and soul as well.

.. that which could celebrate my uniqueness

.. that which could wear my dreams and make the magic works

What kind of tattoo am i getting?

:(

I could feel a single person out there despising me too much.

Did i really mean what i have said?

Of course i didn't. The timing was maybe wrong. I just got fed up for some things i couldn't even disclose here.

It's just disappointing how God and faith could ever come across his hatred. I am just human and i fail most of the times. If my apologies couldn't be accepted, i am resting my case.

SUNSHINE

Rainy thursday.

"Was life nothing more than a storm, that washes away what had been there only a moment before, and left behind something barren and unrecognizable..."-from Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden

It feels like being drenched again and again in this pool of tears. Any of us can speak frankly about pain until we are no longer enduring it.

Painful.
Painless.

I have yet to see the sunshine until tomorrow. God knows how i have loved the warmth of this sunshine that shone brightly in my gloomy life. God knows how my irrational tantrums had been tamed by this light.. how my life had been so different when it engulfed my whole being. It was only this sunshine that made me realize how my hopeless life is supposed to be lived with all the smiles. Because the sunshine once spoke to me...

.... that i deserve to be happy.

And finally the rain had eased to a mist.

And I am waiting for my sunshine...