Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Got my hands dirty.
and my uniforms too.
dahil ngayong hapon.. ang prinsesa ay isang ganap na magbabakal na puno ng grasa.
trabaho trabaho trabaho
this is life.
Think of someone who can't speak.
Before you complain about the taste of your food,
Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife,
Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.
Today, before you complain about life,
Think of someone who died too early on this earth.
Before you complain about your children,
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.
Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep,
Think of the people who are living in the streets.
Before whining about the distance you drive,
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
And when you are tired and complain about your job,
Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.
But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another,
Remember that not one of us is without sin.
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down,
Put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still around. And you can still put yourself in the loving mercies of the Savior.
I was asked to handle an AutoCad class on a Saturday sked.
I was coping with survival, insomnia, loneliness, and others of that ilk.
I only have the moon to listen to my rants and raves.
etc. etc. etc.
"The world always crashes in on us. The news is often bad. But always - at the same time - the lovely, the laughable, the gentle, the solitary, and the creative ways of being human are also in play and engaged." - Robert Fulghum
Monday, June 28, 2010
the sky itself.
It’s a friend that lives right next door.
And like any friend, the sky changes in subtle ways from day to day and year to year.
So, once you start watching it, be patient. You can’t learn everything about your friend at once.
Watch the sky a lot and watch regularly.
You’ll learn by looking!
And you’ll make a connection with nature that’ll last your whole life long.
January: Old Moon, or Moon After Yule
February: Snow Moon, Hunger Moon, or Wolf Moon
March: Sap Moon, Crow Moon or Lenten Moon
April: Grass Moon, or Egg Moon
May: Planting Moon, or Milk Moon
June: Rose Moon, Flower Moon, or Strawberry Moon
July: Thunder Moon, or Hay Moon
August: Green Corn Moon, or Grain Moon
September: Fruit Moon, or Harvest Moon
October: Harvest Moon, or Hunter’s Moon
November: Hunter’s Moon, Frosty Moon, or Beaver Moon
December: Moon Before Yule, or Long Night Moon
Guy Ottewell’s Astronomical CalendarOne of the best astronomical calendars in existence!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
manual macro 80-200, f22 3s, june 27, 2010, 10pm
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
I am deeply sorry if I can't be the daughter you want me to be.
If for some obvious reasons, I can't even meet your highest expectations, I sincerely apologize from the bottom of my heart.
Maybe it's the time and distance that separated us to what you all want us to become.
It's not easy being your daughter.
God knows how i tried to be the best in everything to give you honor and pride. We may not have parallel opinions on everything, but you have all my admiration for everything that you believe. I do not know if i have lived well the days that passed on me, but sure enough, all the days of my life have been lived with love and respect to you as my father.
You were gone for more than three quarters of my life. During those times, i have established my own life, my own habits, my own beliefs, but striving hardest still to be at least a good daughter a parent would always want to have. I have refrained from doing things that could easily blotch our family's escutcheon.
It's just that my life is a game that is not easy to play with.
Life plays cruel tricks on us.
I am filled with so much compassion, that i cannot provide our family a luxurious life. I know that you have yielded us to some of the luxuries that you want us all to have. More's the pity, i feel even more remorseful, that even at this point in my life, i earn a meager salary, too paltry in order for me to give my family at least a more decent life.
If it had not been for the cross that i am carrying right now, i could support our family financially.
I am struck with too much pain as your criticism grew plentiful and strident. I was even asking myself, scrutinizing further, if there's any good that i had done even once in my life.
Was it my fault that i got tied to this malady?
Is it fairly wrong that i stayed under our roof even at this point in my life?
I am trying very hard to live a couple of notches better than your expectations.
But i guess... i failed.
And i am sorry dad.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
On my way home, i was recounting the things that happened in my life for the past months.
Teary-eyed, i was revving the gears a bit harder, when my eyes got caught in a beautiful cloud formation, and a rainbow.
Oh well, God's reminding me that there's always a rainbow after a big blow.
God help me.
Friday, June 18, 2010
It's not always TGIF.
There still exist reasons why i despise Friday.
And Oh I'd love to have an automatic car.
not an automatic car maybe...
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
WHITE BERRY YOGURT WITH KIWI AND RASPBERRY TOPPING
nag-agawan pa kami ni bulilai. hahahaha.
am back to my pen, whiteboard and calculator.
i need a lot of energy
fueled by my passion.
here i come!
To teach is to learn twice. ~Joseph Joubert, Pensées, 1842
so when you don't see me around, it's because i'm with my trigonometry and solid mensuration formulas and equations.
Ring a bell my dear Ustajdz?
I got my test results after four days of waiting.
I got my car after a week of confinement to Mang Crispin.
And zilcho message from the superhero. (in a very impt confe?) nah. just kidding. Must be the ADHD in me. Crappiness at its finest.
Anyways, yesterday, i was clutched by depressing emotions that i cannot find the right words to say. I failed at learning to stay still and enduring a bit of whip without whining.
What has happened to me yesterday?
I once again felt the supreme rock-bottom feeling, that of which had been gnawing at me like a rat over the years, digging perforations in my soul.
Inconvenient truths. Carrying the cross all alone.
Every single day lived is one day closer to my death, every single step closer to my tomb.
Why does my clock tick so fast?
The night is over, yet, am i done fixing myself?
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
am just a bit ....
am sorry for the weakling in me.
gimme a night to fix myself.
Monday, June 14, 2010
>>> On June 3, 1571, Sulayman led his troops and attacked the Spaniards in a decisive battle at the town of Bangkusay, but they were defeated, and Sulayman himself was killed. With the destruction of Sulayman's army and the friendship with Rajah Lakandula, the Spaniards were enabled to establish throughout the city and its neighboring towns.
my right arm is aching :( must be due to the improper extraction last fri, tracing a patch of internal hemorrhage on the area of puncture.
sweetie: still confined :(
sad sad sad
Sunday, June 13, 2010
i got busy with life :D
i missed the shuttle bus last fri and this prompted me to skip work that very same day. i can still remember the conversation i had with my boss last thurs:
lois: sir pa sign po, half day po ako, punta po ako sa mekaniko, andun pa po kotse ko e
boss: half day? natapos mo na ba ung pinapagawa ko syo?
lois: opo. nasa engg-data sir. filename: ref for sir rey
boss: *checks the file* subukan mo kayang ilagay as details sa kabilang categories?
lois: ok po sir. gagawin ko po. uhhmmmnn... sir..pede pong pa sign na? *time check: 9:50am*
boss: tapusin mo muna yan bago mag 11 ha.
lois: yes sir. tapos po yan :D *big evil grin*
boss: papasok ka ba bukas?
lois: OPO sir. Papasok po ako!
i was too lazy for a toxic commute to office that friday morning.
sorry boss :D i'll bear the whip tomorrow. bwahahahaha
so instead of working my ass in the forging company, i got my serum examined. gotta know the results in days to come. praying for better ones :D
saturday. i got my wireless flash trigger present from kuya bong during the nikon club philippines shoot at splendido. (yipeeeeeeeeeeeee. wala naman ako flash gun. gotta save up for one) i miss my kuya bong, we never had the chance to talk at least a little longer, he has to leave earlier for another workshop in makati. sad :(
sunday. whew. am overworked at home. it rained harder the night before so me and my sister had to clean the house, especially the flooded kitchen :( we spent a couple of hours cleaning the mess, while cooking for lunch. (aha, you gotta try my dish :D hehe) i had to run to the drugstore in the afternoon for my meds, had a chat with jojit over a lasagna meal, went to church, scan the books on sale at a bookstore (looking for digital photographer philippines #32 pa din.. hahaha) and stopped for a quezo real ice cream trip at 7-11.
ahh life. spins so fast i can barely catch up. gotta live my life everyday as if it was my last. :D
will work my ass off tomorrow on a more than triple legal holiday rate.
just one more look at this pic before i end this week.
goodnight and have a blessed week ahead!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
"hagad ang higad"
NIKON CLUB PHILIPPINES
@ Splendido (Batangas)
Thursday, June 10, 2010
and the pick-up boy at Carmona exit too.
hair design by ate joji
make-up by lai
Thanks so much to Kuya Raymie and Ate Joji of N.O.W. Productions! Visit their site at:
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
I kinda miss my sweetie for the hours that passed. I comfort myself with the thought that this is way better than gambling my life through the snares of death. Sentimental me. Boo.
This sentimentality refreshes me with the thoughts on the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism which i have studied a year ago. (walang basagan ng trip. duh)
1. Life means suffering.
2. The origin of suffering is attachment.
3. The cessation of suffering is attainable.
4. The path to the cessation of suffering.
No connection. It just slipped through mah mind. haha. blabber blabber.
I just had to get off the bed a little earlier than the usual and move faster to catch the bus. I arrived 15 minutes before the pick up time, and got to enjoy a few minute humorous chats with April. Sitting comfortably on the bus while listening to the Priscila Ahn's songs played on my ever beloved psp is very relaxing while passing through the greenery of SLEX and Eton Road. Arriving earlier at the office had me the luxury of time to even have breakfast with some nice office mates. For a fraction of an hour, it felt like this world is a fine place to be, and whatever woes i had yesterday had been momentarily forgotten or at least put on perspective.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
I really gotta bring it to Mang Crispin for all the safety reasons in the world.
Kuya Manny on night shift makes it even more difficult for me to process my car's troubleshooting. I'm doin it all alone... all alone as the strong heroine. hahaha.
Can't wait for 3pm.
Gotta squirm away from the distress of having my sweetie troubled.
If I was in the fridge, would you open the door?
If I was the grass, would you mow your lawn?
If I was your body, would you still wear clothes?
If I was a booger, would you blow your nose?
Where would you keep it? would you eat it?
Im just tryin to give myself a reason, for being around.
If I was the front porch swing would you let me hang?
If I was the dance floor would you shake your thing?
If I was a rubber check would you let me bounce
Up and down inside your bank account?
Would ya trust me, not to break you?
Im just tryin really hard to make you,
Notice me being around.
If I was a haircut would you wear a hat?
If I was a maid, could I clean your flat?
If I was the carpet would ya wipe your feet,
In time to save me from mud off the street?
If you like me, if you love me,
Why dont you get down on your knees
And scrub me?
Im a little grubby
From just being around.
I'm just tryin' really hard to make you notice me being around.
Uber miss ka na ni pareng Gardo. She just can't go on missing you always as told. She has to be strong... ayt?
I hate doomsday. Hahaha. It's when i don't have enough inputs to neutralize some uncertainties that disrupt the smooth flow of my existence. Predictability and comfort, as they say, are valid human longings. But my life, as always, are bombarded by too many variables that make it so wildly unpredictable and uncomfortable. I hang onto it by a thread that would snap at any given moment, i alternate between placid anticipation of a new tomorrow and excessive emotions of threat, danger, pain or harm that shoo the daylights out of me.
Whatever gets me through the night.
I gotta do something to sweetie. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Monday, June 7, 2010
i suddenly realized i got three viruses in my life :) one in my pc, one in my fluid, and one in my heart. deym.
I have to be a super heroine when i don't have a superhero around.
The power supply went out at 1pm in the company. I was about to go home at 7 but couldn't afford to stay until the cows come home, err, i mean until the power is restored.
So off i decided to go home at 3, just to realize that my fuel tank is empty. So i asked the guards for a refill, but was told that there's no electricity to run the pump.. so.. no fuel refill until the power is restored.
Checking my wallet, (hoping a miraculous yellow bill to pop) i found two 50-peso and one 100-peso bill. I was in dire financial crisis the past few weeks due to unforeseen unfavorable events that had consumed my savings. I was torn between spending the money for a fuel refill at the nearest Petron station and leaving the car inside the company. Poor me. Why does it always have to happen when i have none to spare. Sigh.
So i decided to let one 50-peso bill guard my wallet until payday, and opted to bring home my car with a meager gas replenishment. While i was driving home, i received a message from my sister, asking me to drive her and my father to SM to check on some bathroom accessories.
I almost fainted. Why of all holy days they chose to go NOW. Traffic is super heavy on a rainy day, my fuel is almost low, I've none for a refill.. Murphy's Law!!!! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
We don’t have time for family, for people, for relationships.
We don’t have time for ourselves—to reflect, to pray, to breathe, to rest, to enjoy God’s blessings now.
The solution? Learn to slow down.
Here are tips (some from me and some from John Ortberg) on how to remove hurry from our lives.
1. Deliberately drive in the slow lane on the expressway.
If you do this, you’ll arrive home perhaps ten minutes later. But you’ll be less angry, less stressed, and less tired. Here’s what you can do: Pray for all the cars that go ahead of you. Sing a song to God. Imagine God seated beside you.
2. Deliberately park at the farthest spot available in the parking lot.
Result? You won’t have to fight over the nearest parking spots; You won’t have to circle around for hours; and you’re giving your body exercise by the extra walk.
3. Deliberately choose the longest line in the grocery.
We usually look for the shortest. Do the opposite. Look for the longest line. You can be sure no one will fight you over it. Enjoy. Pray. Smile. Bless the people around you.
4. Deliberately chew your food slowly.
As my friend says, “Food is God’s love made edible.” So enjoy your food. Relish it. Savor the taste. It’ll help your digestion. More importantly, it’ll calm you. You’ll appreciate your food more. You’ll be more grateful to God for your food.
5. Deliberately put people before things.
“Waste” time with your loved ones. Laugh, play, and do nothing together. Learn the “art of being” as a group. Last week, I brought all the top leaders of Light of Jesus to the beach for three days. We played charades together. We looked pretty insane. It was wonderful. People ask me why Light of Jesus has remained strong after 30 years. One reason: We play a lot. We have 4 vacations a year!
6. Deliberately take time to enjoy God’s Presence alone.
Each day, spend ten, fifteen, or thirty minutes hanging out with God. Just simply be with Him. Just rest in Him. You can sit before the Blessed Sacrament. Or go under a tree or take a walk. God says, “Be still and know that I am God.”
7. Deliberately stop watching TV.
People watch an average of 4 hours of TV everyday. That means when you reach 65 years old, you would have spent 9 years of your life watching TV. You wake up one day and ask yourself, “Where did my life go?” Remember that failure is not an act but a habit. Instead of watching TV, read a book instead. Or hold an entertainment night as a family. Or sing together. Or take up a hobby. Or play a musical instrument. Or volunteer and serve God in a ministry.
8. Deliberately take lots of vacations.
People work non-stop all their life, retire at age 65, and take a long vacation. Usually, they drop dead after a few years. Because they lose their purpose. I’ll teach you a better way, and I’ve been practicing this for some years now: Take lots of mini-vacations now and never retire! I take about 10 small vacations a year, usually with family and friends. And I can’t retire because I’m not working. Both my ministry and business is just so much fun.
Don’t Ever “Wait” Again!
A lot of people just wait.
When we’re 8, we wait to be 13.
When we’re 13, we wait to be 18.
When we’re in school, we wait to get a job.
When we’re single, we wait to get married.
When we’ve got babies, we wait for them to grow up quick.
When we’ve got teens, we wait for them to mature.
When we’re working, we wait for our retirement.
But if you really live in your “Now”, you’ll never wait again in your life. We enjoy where we are.
When someone is late and says to you, “So sorry to keep you waiting,” you should say, “I wasn’t waiting. I was enjoying life. I was breathing in God’s love. I was living and happy and blessed.”
Of course, if you say that, people will think you’re kookoo or had shabu for breakfast.
But that is essentially what living in your “Now” is. You don’t really wait. Because waiting means you’re attention is focused on your future.
Not you. You’re attention is focused on your “Now”.
And you’re grateful for that “Now”.
If you’re single, don’t “wait” for a husband. Enjoy your singleness now. Embrace your freedom. Breathe in the blessings of God. Embrace His peace. Love His presence.
If you’re still childless, don’t “wait” for a baby. Enjoy your marriage now. Embrace your life today. Be blissful where you are.
If you’re still financially hard-up, don’t “wait” for prosperity. Be grateful for the prosperity you have now. And because gratitude attracts what you’re grateful for, this will attract more prosperity.
(excerpt from Bo Sanchez' Blog: How To Enjoy Your Life: Live In Your “Now”!
May you never steal, lie or cheat.
But if you must steal... then steal away my sorrows.
And if you must lie... lie with me all the nights of my life.
And if you must cheat ... then please cheat death
because I couldn't live a day without you.
(from an Irish quote)
Sunday, June 6, 2010
The receipt of my phone for the warranty claim is nowhere to be found here in our jumbled den. And i hate to reformat my pc, couldn't find where the installers are kept. Inconveniences of having a house renovation. Ggggrrr.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Where flowers bloom so does hope.
- Lady Bird Johnson, Public Roads: Where Flowers Bloom
Don't let your camera catch these "birds"
At f22, the dust particles lying in my camera sensor filter are clearly visible.
It takes good mechanical skills and a delicate touch to manually dry clean the sensor filter. Thanks Rey for the cleaning tutorial.
And thanks to the Southern Reflections Photography Club for the continuous sharing of knowledge and expertise.
Our next big event:
3rd Scott Kelby Worldwide Photowalk
Friday, June 4, 2010
- Oprah Winfrey
eto ba un?
i super likey!
click click click
-Jim Paredes (FOREVER AND ETERNAL - Humming in my Universe)
Didn't get enough sleep. Too much brooding, plus the fact that the mosquitoes had feasted sucking virus-infested blood on my flesh. Whew.
I must have left my sanity under the sheets. I didn't see it coming, err, i mean, the left gate swaying with wind as i move backwards, and....
The gate hit my side mirror.
It was the gate's fault. He was swaying with the wind.
I whispered in a petrified tone... "LAGOT".
As if the world cares for the shocks endured by me and my sweetie.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
“Sitting next to you doing absolutely nothing means absolutely everything to me.”
Scott Kelby’s 3rd Annual Worldwide Photo Walk
TICKLE TICKLE CLICKERS!
BODY: I love the weather. Bring me back home and let's just sleep the whole day.
MIND: I need to study and plan this stockyard. I need to finish this. Double-time LOis!
I still have work, thank God, after my three-day absence. hahaha. I was missed, heck, by those who dutifully need my services. LOLS.
These are the normal inconveniences of unscheduled leave from work. You leave a hill of jobs on the last day you have been seen on your workstation, and come back to a mountain when you have been resurrected.
It was kind of funny to hear stupid remarks from my officemates regarding my unplanned work hiatus. To hear someone say, "Kung magreresign sya, mag clearance sya ng maayos... hindi ung absent sya ng absent.. tapos sa iba na pala pumapasok.." Holy cow, Holy banana, Holy guacamole, HOLY HOLY HOE!!! Heck, thanks a bunch for the unsolicited remarks, you've just wasted a minute fraction of your life thinking about my whereabouts. He's not my boss at all, i don't have any work-related connection to him. Hahaha. Pierced me with too much laughter why these people seem to be affected by my absence for reasons only them could decipher. If they only knew how my emotions went in disarray during my absence, i don't even wanna recall that effin' licensing renewal story =)) (BTW, i sent my boss a message informing me of my absence due to my misfortunes. So technically, it's not AWOL.)
Anyways, I'm halfway through the day and have been 70% productive since 7am. It's just that the endless assortments of odds and ends are tickling the very me, sorting through it once in a while is a bit amusing, provocative and reflective.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
i wish life is this simple.
i miss the couch. i miss the mansion.
symbianize good times.
always in my heart.
Am now busy on homebrewed eboots.
I so miss my old self
Flowers seem intended for the solace of ordinary humanity.
- John Ruskin
I got my license after going through the LEGAL process (WTF) of obtaining one. I spent my whole day at the LTO where effin' FIXERS are free to roam inside, where the sinners who all perish are clad in their most decent clothes. (IFKR?) Pity those whose pockets are empty, pity those whose souls don't know how to bribe (or have none to offer as a bribe), for they will remain until after office hours, after all those rich and lucky bastards have been VIP-served by the caboodle of money-faced WTFs.
Unlucky me. Ain't got a spare penny. I went through the tedious and epic hours of waiting (and letting go of my hard-earned cash for every move. deym. ang hirap maging dukha!!!)
Well, being a stickler that i am, i just can't help but rant on this rotten system that preys on the weakness of the poor citizens. Poor country, can never and will never get the hell out of this muck as long as the system stays on this obsolete and virus-infected version.
I somehow did enjoy the epic adventure i had at the licensing center. For once, i have proven that a woman's presence in a male-dominated world is a glorious beacon of hope for the stressed ones. hahaha. I love it when men treat women with utmost respect, when men graciously entertain the women's concerns with breathtaking candor, rather than striking a line as if they were talking to promiscuous ones. Women are treated with utmost care, well maybe at least in our group, and it lessened our burden of wanting them all dead on the spot for the slow processing of our applications. Cheers to these men whose days we made brighter, whose smiles we made noticeable, and whose aura we made fantastic. May you all survive the sodom and gomorrah of our modern times.
I'm tired. Weak. 3days absent. Tomorrow i gotta get back to work [if i still had one =))]
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
i need some kind of peace of mind.
it dawned on me that there is nothing i can do about the furious monstrosity of the past incidents in my life, including that of being scammed in a public document. hell hath no fury, but what else could i do but to correct, clear and clean my name, for crying out loud. and this translates to a three-day absence from work. 1 approved vacation and 2 days AWOL. deym. i really gotta inform my boss about the misfortunes that someone has gotten me into.
well, God must have been so vigilant in testing the patience in me. i could have killed that man who got me into this mess had he stepped an inch inside our perimeter.
but amidst all of these, there are indeed lessons to be learned. there's comfort in saying that there are no mistakes, only lessons, but i got to spank myself a couple of times in order to redeem that. the fundamentals of being human include trusting someone without any taint of doubt, and maybe, no one is to blame me for having done that. retribution indeed shall take its course in its own time. as for now, i really need to iron things out, legally, so as not to inflict any more trouble with my other public documents.
forgiveness. i gotta give more than what i could. 101%. and to be calm and still when confronted by situations like this.
tomorrow is another day. may i be able to straighten things out ;)
God bless me.
3days na pag absent dahil sa kagagawan ng manloloko sa mundo.
i hate this so mux.
I'm mad as hell.