Friday, April 30, 2010
PORK NO MORE.
So i crawled the SLEX under the dark rainy night of Thursday with my very poor vision and squirming away from the hazards which could be incurred. And since I am having trouble driving at night lately, it was even aggravated by the damaged wiper and the out pour of furious showers. Man i could barely see! I drove beyond the limits of my visibility, the glare of oncoming lights amplified by the splashing waters on my windshield has increased my driving fatigue. Work fatigue and driving fatigue spell epic fail for me! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Safely home, I fell into a silence of collective retrospection.
Not my day yet, i say to myself.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
it's another lonely and frightening night
But then... it's more of a blessing.
Hope God will bless me with this opportunity.
I admit, i am sucker for moon gazing. It has long sparked my imagination. I can still remember how i dreamt of being an astronomer during my younger years, having watched the grand spectacles in the sky, pricking my curiosity as a child. With the moon dominating the biggest canvas above at night, it is indeed a wonder to behold.
I always feel a great sense of awe gazing at the most powerful object up there. Truly a magnificent view to the naked eye. But as always, i find myself struck with a catastrophe under the biggest pie in the sky:
I found myself retreating under the fire of internal weeping, the ones that flood my soul but keep my face all dried up. All those feelings carefully hidden, desperately crawled out from my very own hole of yearning.
I hate the fact that my every night always end up as a drag. I take a glance off the moon, and wish, hope and pray for a better tomorrow.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
I was stricken with such glorious monument of beauty as i raise my face towards the moon while walking to the parking lot. The moon was almost in its full, its awesomeness had unleashed in me a flood of memories that i had been so desperately holding in my heart.
Cruising along the road, i could feel a rush of exaltation as i could sense the moon springing illumination in this dark night of mine. I couldn't help but glance at it even for a split second, flicking past the trees and buildings along the greenfield parkway.
Ahhh the moon. I so love it. It is as if it's staring right through my soul.
But something about the moon rang a bell in my cluttered soul. Is he seeing the moon as i see it this night? How bout a cup of french vanilla as we cuddle up underneath its majestic glow?
Longingness at its finest.
After a 45-degree turn at the Pulo Diezmo Road, i found the moon staring blandly at me, its attention wavering, until the dark clouds desperately crawl in front of it. The moon suddenly disappeared, i was suffering the easily foreseeable consequences, tears brimming in my very eyes, and i am in my dire struggle to holding it for long, careful not to let loose of any single drop. The moon quickly appeared, as if on a peek-a-boo play with me, and it positioned itself on a strange cloud formation, like an eye of a wolf howling in the deepest of the night.
I pulled over, with my trembling hands, quickly grope for my pink Sony point and shoot inside my bag.
Half press. Focus. CLICK.
Tears gathered at the edge of my very eyes. I just then realized .. i am wolf chiming in with yowling noises that nobody could hear.
"Wherever you are, and no matter what's going on in your life, when it's the first night of the full moon, I want you to find it in the night time sky. I want you to think about me and the week we shared, because wherever I am, no matter what's going on in my life, that's exactly what i'll be doing. If we can't be together, at least we can share that, and maybe between the two of us, we can make this last forever" (Nicholas Sparks: Dear John)
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
I waited for minutes until the lights flashed green and sped up past the intersection. Revved the engine harder and was able to reach the office in no less than a minute.
+1 for me this morning.
I didn't beat the red light.
That's something to be proud of.
Monday, April 26, 2010
After she wept many tears, the old man told her, “Let’s go to the kitchen. I have something to show you.”
In the kitchen, the grandfather prepared three pots of water on the cooking range. On the first pot, he placed carrots. On the second pot, he placed eggs. On the third pot, he placed coffee beans. And he lit the fire beneath each of them.
For twenty minutes, they sat in silence as the fire heated the pots. After twenty minutes, the grandfather said, “If you notice, the fire underneath the pots are the same. Same heat. Same temperature. Yet you’ll notice how different things react to the fire.”
He fished out the carrots and placed it in a bowl. He made his granddaughter touch it.
“It’s soft,” she said.
He got an egg, broke it, and gave it to her.
“Hard boiled,” she said.
Finally, he opened the coffee pot—its fragrance filling the room. He poured a cup for her. She took a sip.
“That’s nice,” she said, “thanks, grandpa. But what does this all mean?”
He said, “Child, you’re going through fire. You’re going through trials. Everybody does. But how are you reacting? Are you like the carrot who thought it was hard and strong, but when the fire came, it became weak and lost all its strength? Or are you like the egg that had a malleable spirit and a tender heart, but when trials came, hardened its heart? Or are you like the coffee bean? The fire released its flavor and aroma. Your trials can release your gifts and dreams. Your trials can set you free. So tell me, are you a carrot, an egg, or coffee beans?”
excerpt from: http://bosanchez.ph/winners-have-a-bias-for-action/
SYEMPRE GUSTO KO.. KAPE AKO.
Kape kape tayo :)
Been keeping myself busy the past few days :) Admittedly, there are rock-bottom days which i have to pass through, by hook or by crook. I'm missing the coffee sessions with quick banters. I always find myself slumped in front of the bookshelves just to get through each day. I hell wish things were like the same as before.
I miss u. Whoever you are. Whatever you are.
I'm just here. Waiting.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
karera tayo ulit.
Friday, April 23, 2010
God's whisper for me today reminded me of a conversation i had a few days ago.
je: kasama mo.
je: lagi naman di ba?
I know ryt?
Sometimes, distance isn't defined by the number of rivers, oceans and mountains in between, nor the passing of time or the condition of being far-off. And loving someone is most of the times a full-time job, no matter how great the distance is.
Just close your eyes and feel it deep within your heart.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Jabi burger steak never tasted this good.
It's true that the resting place of the mind is the heart.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
PABLO NERUDA on my mind.
>> if each day, each hour, you feel that you are destined for me with implacable sweetness, if each day a flower climbs up to your lips to seek me, ah my love, ah my own, in me all that fire is repeated, in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten, my love feeds on your love, beloved, and as long as you live it will be in your arms without leaving mine.memorize ko na sya.
repeat after me
ohh la la la
parang may hang-over lang
One time big time lang naman.
Sometimes it feels good to break the rules.
I wanna do it all over again.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Ok. I've been way beyond my senses and i gotta stop this misery.
Misery loves company, i know.
Syet. I supermiss the hero.
minsan gusto mo lang sumigaw ng sumigaw hanggang sa makondisyon mo ang sarili mo na
OKEY KA NA.
OKAY LANG YAN.
LILIPAS DIN YAN.
Tanga ka e
Monday, April 19, 2010
You are, after all, what you think.
Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.
Elizabeth Gilbert - Eat, Pray, Love
She's beatin' herself up for being such a fiasco in life.
And wearin' her wishbone where her backbone oughtta be.
two hearts... one pair
will there still be tomorrow?
Saturday, April 17, 2010
ganun din naman e.
bilog ang mundo.
tsk tsk tsk.
promise bukas ayoko na.
tama na muna.
I basically have a large databank of almost all available photography resources out there... but i would, if i could, secure the hard copy of all those ebooks.
Here's another... gusto ko din to!!! I was surprised to see myself addicted to Mr. Francis Kong. Too bad my pockets are always kinda empty .. gotta save up to have at least one in my shelf :D
Thursday, April 15, 2010
HEAVEN: sipping hot coffee while driving with 99.5rt's disenchanted kingdom on the background
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Depression is a killer and if you don't have a personal toolbox that contains depression busters then you may just add one more problem to the many you already have.
12 ways to fight depression
“If there be a hell upon earth, it is to be found in the melancholy man's heart.” - Robert Burton
Sir, I did try to stir the small pond but to no avail. I am up for the challenge of diving to the large pond full of large fishes. Take the risk if i must, as life is but one.
aabot kaya ako sa next level?
I know I am but summer to your heart,
And not the full four seasons of the year;
And you must welcome from another part
Such noble moods as are not mine, my dear.
No gracious weight of golden fruits to sell
Have I, nor any wise and wintry thing;
And I have loved you all too long and well
To carry still the high sweet breast of Spring.
Wherefore I say: O love, as summer goes,
I must be gone, steal forth with silent drums,
That you may hail anew the bird and rose
When I come back to you, as summer comes.
Else will you seek, at some not distant time,
Even your summer in another clime.
Edna St. Vincent Millay
Monday, April 12, 2010
i'm extremely sad.
i'm extremely sad.
who the hell cares about my blood?
San Felipe, Zambales Sunset / 040910
Pity me not because the light of day
At close of day no longer walks the sky;
Pity me not for beauties passed away
From field and thicket as the year goes by;
Pity me not the waning of the moon,
Nor that the ebbing tide goes out to sea,
Nor that a man’s desire is hushed so soon,
And you no longer look with love on me.
This love I have known always: love is no more
Than the wide blossom which the wind assails,
Than the great tide that treads the shifting shore,
Strewing fresh wreckage gathered in the gales.
Pity me that the heart is slow to learn
What the swift mind beholds at every turn.
That abstinence has expired NOW.
I was tuned in this morning to 99.5rt's disenchanted kingdom segment and it was indeed an amusing conversation with the DJs discussion on what could be worst than waking up to a Monday morning.
I would, if i could, called up the station and relate to them what had just happened the moment i stepped in the company premises, worst than waking up to a Monday morning.
>>> Someone refused to see and talk to me after being bitter for not having been invited to the out of town vacation we had this weekend. I wasn't even the organizer, i was just also invited, and i couldn't tag her along, not only for the reason that the organizer didn't want her to be around, but also for some obvious financial complications. Add to that, there wasn't available space for an additional person outside the planned logistics. Well, here's the thing, when she saw me inside the locker room this morning, she refused to enter thinking all the while that i hadn't noticed her peeking behind the shelves. Hmmmnnn. Let alone her bitterness. Funny thing, i also refused to give her my pasalubong. hahaha.
>>> Someone tried to use my pc here at my workstation. Failing to log in to windows, he/she just left my pc open for 3days and 11 hours. What the "insert here the F word here"
>>> I instructed the new lady engineers to lock the door of our comfort room so as not to be abused by production people come nightshift. Lo and behold, they left it open for everybody's use... for three straight days! Epic Fail!
Well, waking up to a Monday Morning hasn't always been a worst thing. Forcing myself to wake up to another week starter and facing the boss and feeling-boss here at work has always reminded me that i am such one lucky two-legged creature blessed with a six-day per week job that enables me to post an entry here in my blog. Clap clap clap.
So let alone my own spasms of anger.. i got a booster from the best of the best..
God forgive me for my kamalditahan. Sorry na po :)
Get the next best thing... find someone who's worth the torture."
- got this from Yohan's stat on facebook :D
Thursday, April 8, 2010
I beat the red light at the Greenfield intersection.
Am I on my riotous ways of transformation?
Magari. *in Italian accent*
Sometimes there are a couple of bullets that i need to bite in order for me to stay happy as i would have always wanted to be. My life has been pretty chaotic lately, bringing me changes that i could not have anticipated.
Well.. well.. well..
I'm moving on :)
and beating the RED LIGHTS of my life.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
I received a message from someone that has long forgotten my existence.
Firehouse music was being played in the supermarket Lai and I have gone this evening.
.............'You know you're everything to me and I could never see
.............The two of us apart
.............And you know I give myself to you and no matter what you do
.............I promise you my heart
stoking the embers...
Monday, April 5, 2010
GOOD: Nakapulot kami ni Pareng Jay ng 50-peso bill sa parking 1st thing in the morning.
GOOD: Binigay ko kay Sir Rene ang 50-peso bill para makabawi sa nawala nyang 500-peso bill nung isang linggo.
NO GOOD: Tulo ang dugo at pawis ko pagsusukat sa stockyard.
GOOD: Binigay ko kay Segawa ang lay-out ng cutting stock material.
NO GOOD: Gusto nya ng ibang lay-out. Magsukat daw ako ulit. FTW.
GOOD: Nag enjoy ako kay QQ. sa aming LEECHENISM. (leech na, leche pa, inis pa, san ka pa! sama-sama na un day **bisaya accent** )
GOOD: Is reading clinical trial results presentation for a possible cure to my misery.
NO GOOD: Empty fuel tank
NO GOOD: Company ran out of gasoline
NO GOOD: TRAFIK PA! !#@$@!#$%
GOOD: Buti na lang meron pa kong 300 pesos, 6 liters din mahigit.
GOOD: Safely home.
GOOD: Will watch The Genius of Photography by BBC Part 1
NO GOOD: Nanghihina ako.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Taal Basilica was first built in present day San Nicolas, Batangas, by Fray.Deigo Espina in 1575 under the Augustinians, with San Martin de Tours as patron saint. In 1754 the church was destroyed along with the town Taal in the eruption of the Taal volcano. It was then that the church was transferred to its present site. Father Martin Aguirre donated the land for the new church in 1755, but in 1849 it was destroyed again by an earthquake. Construction of the new church began in 1856 to 1878, the Spanish architect Luciano Oliver commissioned to design and manage the construction of the present church. A small tower was made on its left side but it was destroyed during Japanese occupation. It was reconstructed later and it was then taller than the original. The church was made into a basilica on 8 December, 1954 and was declared a national shrine on January 16, 1974. The conical coronation of the Our Lady of Caysasay was also made in basilica in 1954. Taal Basilica is consider as the biggest church in the Philippines and in Asia.
Basilica de San Martin de Tours
a walk to remember
am no claustrophobic..
A well spent Black Saturday.
Thanks God for the gift of friendship.
Thanks Ron, Jit, Ags.