Thursday, November 20, 2008
I was motivated by my sentiments than my utter reasons.
I have always loved teaching and no one can truly belabor the virtues of it.
But some realities obtrude so violently you don't need statistics to drive them home.
I was stressed. physically tired. mentally absent.
After a string of complaints i had professed last semester in my continuous quest to provide quality education and the best learning experience to my students, i am supposed to sail again in the same ocean of misery come 2nd semester. I chose not to enumerate those misery so as to avoid any edge of derision. Ambivalence would be my only response.
I am content to do what i could for the sheer love of it. And so that explains how i tried so very hard to bridge the gap between the students' necessity and the colegio's capability in a room buzzing with hopes and dreams of tomorrow's nation builders. But i was pushed to reach beyond my own grasp. A toss-up which made me cringe more: to continue my own noble act of pedagogics or to risk my own health as i have been so sick for the past few months.
Who am i trying to con here?
I was motivated by my sentiments than my utter reasons.
I felt a twinge of guilt as i pass the IT building and saw my supposed students waiting in front of the B-laboratory . I called on Milben, one of the students in the class and an old friend of mine and told him that they will have no Autocad class for the moment, as i have resigned already. He was asking for reasons, but i just answered him a smile. Really breaks my heart though. Seeing also the confusion running through the faces of all other students while watching me and Milben talked, i hated the wave of guilt that is swept through me. But i have to contain the rush of emotions that is pulsing through me, i have already decided and this is it. Milben then said, "Ate sandali lang may ibibigay ako syo.." he went back to his things near the classroom, then ran back to me and handed me a Knight Publication "Pilantik" Literary Folio. I again flourished a smile, thanked him, and told him to inform all his classmates to check out other details at the dean's office. I then shot my last glance at them, the images moved me to the depths of my soul.
I myself couldn't even give solace to my crying soul, as i have exhausted all my efforts to improve the system, but to no avail.
And i also need to settle some time for myself so i could recover to full health.
Life has a way of compelling light in the darkness by the sheer need of it.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
i quit teaching.
there's too much pain in my heart.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
My own copy :)
Cheers to eraserheads!
got the myx mag issue featuring the eraserheads too
Monday, November 17, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
November 10 since i have last posted and i still haven't got any to blabber on. Actually, I've too much but couldn't contain it in this den. Well, maybe there really are some things that i wouldn't want to be reminded about. haha....alam mo na un!!!
Anyways, just a sort of coming back from the grave, i got this very funny email from Karizza and i was really laughing to my hearts out while thinking at the back of my mind how dearfully our parents had wanted us to learn back then.
Para sa mga ulirang magulang at magiging magulang balang araw....
Parental Wisdom -Filipino Style
Hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan ang mga mumunti ngunit ginintuang butil na payo na nakuha ko sa aking mga magulang..
1. Si Inay, tinuruan niya ako HOW TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"Kung kayong dalawa ay magpapatayan, doon kayo sa labas! Mga leche kayo, kalilinis ko lang ng bahay."
2. Natuto ako ng RELIGION kay Itay:
"Kapag yang mantsa di natanggal sa carpet, magdasal ka na!"
3.Kay Inay ako natuto ng LOGIC :
"Kaya ganyan, dahil sinabi ko."
4. At kay Inay pa rin ako natuto ng MORE LOGIC :
"Pag ikaw nalaglag diyan sa bubong, ako lang mag-isa ang manonood ng sine."
5. Si Inay din ang nagturo sa akin kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng IRONY:
"Sige ngumalngal ka pa at bibigyan talaga kita ng iiyakan mo!"
6. Si Inay ang nagpaliwanag sa akin kung ano ang CONTORTIONISM:
"Tingnan mo nga yang dumi sa likod ng leeg mo, tingnan mo!!!"
7. Si Itay ang nagpaliwanag sa akin kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng STAMINA:
"Wag kang tatayo diyan hangga't di mo nauubos lahat ng pagkain mo!"
8. At si Inay ang nagturo sa amin kung ano ang WEATHER:
"Ay naku!!! talaga kayo, ano ba itong kuwarto nyong magkapatid, parang dinaanan ng bagyo!"
9. Ganito ang paliwanag sa akin ni Inay tungkol sa CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"Malandi kang bata ka, iniluwal kita sa mundong ito, maari rin kitang alisin sa mundong ito."
10. Kay Itay ako natuto kung ano ang BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Tumigil ka nga diyan! Huwag kang umarte na parang Nanay mo!"
11. Si Inay naman ang nagturo kung anong ibig sabihin ng GENETICS:
"Nagmana ka nga talaga sa ama mong walanghiya!"
12. Si Inay naman ang nagpaliwanag sa amin kung anong ibig sabihin ng ENVY:
"Maraming mga batang ulila sa magulang. Di ba kayo nagpapasalamat at mayroon kayong magulang na tulad namin?"
13. Si Itay naman ang nagturo sa akin ng ANTICIPATION :
"Sige kang bata ka, hintayin mong makarating tayo sa bahay!"
14. At si Itay pa rin ang nagturo kay Kuya kung anong ibig sabihin ng RECEIVING:
"Uupakan kita pagdating natin sa bahay!"
15. At si Itay pa rin ang nagturo kay Kuya kung anong ibig sabihin ng DETERMINATION:
"Hanapin mo yung pinahahanap ko sa iyo, pag di mo nahanap, makikita mo!"
16. Si Inay naman ang nagturo sa akin kung ano ang HUMOR:
"Kapag naputol yang mga paa mo ng pinaglalaruan mong lawnmower, wag na wag kang tatakbo sa akin at lulumpuhin kita!"
17. At ang pinakamahalaga sa lahat, natutunan ko kina Inay at Itay Kung ano ang JUSTICE:
"Balang araw magkakaroon ka rin ng anak... tiyak magiging katulad mo at magiging sakit din sa ulo....
Panalo talaga si Inay at Itay!