Saturday, August 30, 2008

JOWK TAYM

Mababaw lang kaligayahan ko. Gusto ko lang tumawa. Nakakabato na din minsan ang sobrang kalungkutan.

From Bob Ong’s book “bakit baliktad magbasa ng libro ang mga pilipino?”

Lumalabas ang kakulangan natin sa iodize salt pagdating sa mga trivia game show sa TV. Mapa Family-Feud, The weakest Link, o Gobingo, hindi pahuhuli sa pagalingan ang mga mamamayang Pilipino, lalo na sa kung mabilisan!

SET THE CLOCK….

Host: Ano sa Ingles ang “hinlalaki”?
Contestant: Thumbmark

Host: Ano ang ginagamit ng mga swimmers para bumilis ang kanilang paglanggoy?
Contestant: Fast Shoes

Host: Kung si Superman ay may Lois Lane, ano naman ang kay Robinhood?
contestant: Pana.

Host: Anong “S” ang inuupuan pag nakasakay sa kabayo?
contestant: Silya

Host: Ano ang karaniwang hugis ng manibela?
contestant: Triangular

Host: Hindi ito boob, hindi ito tube, pero tinatawag ng iba na boob tube. Ano ito?
contestant: Bra

Host: Kelan ang Pasko sa Davao?
contestant: PASS…

Host: Anong tawag sa isdang hindi bilasa?
contestant: tuyo

Host: Ilan ang legs ng cartoon character na si Spiderman?
contestant: Eight

Host: Ano ang nationality ng sanggol na may amang Filipino Catholic at Protestanteng Ina?
Contestant: American

Host: Merong four seasons: winter, spring, summer, at fall. kelan nahuhulog ang mga dahon?
contestant: sa storm

Host: Anong bukol ang makikita sa leeg ng mga lalaki?
contestant: Kiss mark

Host: ano ang kulay ng orange juice kapag nilagay sa blue na baso?
contestant: …Violet

Host: anong malambot na bahagi sa ulo ng sanggol?
contestant: batok

Host: magbigay ng bagay na ipini-pin sadamit?
contestant: Hairpin

Host: Ano ang nagpapaalat sa itlog na maalat?
contestant: Puti

Host: ano ang tawag sa mga needle-like projections na nakasabit sa ceiling ng mga caves?
contestant: Ice pick

Host: ano ang tawag sa plastic bag na lalagyan ng basura?
contestant: plastic bag na nilalagyan ng basura.

Host: anong C ang paboritong kainin ng mga rabbit?
contestant: Cacamber

Host: ang urine ay liquid: TRUE OR FALSE
contestant: False

Host: anong ang system ng MAth na gumagamit ng symbols instead of numbers?
contestant: ummm…China?

Host: anong ginawa ni MOses sa Red Sea?
contestant: Stop

Host: what is the capital of the Philippines?
contestant: P

Host: anong klaseng sapatos ang ginagamit ng mga basketbolista?
contestant: adidas

Host: sino ang pumatay kay David?
contestant: Goliath

host: ano ang tawag sa taong walang suot sa paa?
contestant: Slipperless

Host: kung ang bulag ay blind ano naman ang english ng pipi?
contestant: Walang salita

Host: anong sea creature ang kalahating kabayo at kalahating isda?
contestant: syokoy

Host: ano ang nasa gitna ng donut?
contestant: palaman

Host: ang salad dressing ba ay damit
contestant: (sandaling nagisip) YES!

Host: Anong klaseng sasakyan ang inaayos sa hangar?
contestant: sirang sasakyan

host: ano ang nilalagay sa sewing machine?
contestant: lagari?

host: ilan taon meron sa leap year?
contestant: 365

host: anong hayop ang di-nakakakita sa sa araw ngunit nakakakita sa dilim?
contestant: flashlight

host: Ano ang tawag sa laro kung saan ang dalawang team ang naghihilahan sa isang lubid?
contestant: tumbang-preso

host: kung manicure sa kamay, ano ang sa paa?
contestant: kuko

host: ano ang isunusuot ng mg boksingero sa ulo nila bilang proteksyon?
contestant: Sumbrero

host: ano ang tawag sa laman sa loob ng buto: marrow or muscle?
contestant: karne

host: para saan ang anti-dandruff shampoo?
contestant: kuto

host: anong englis ng ampalaya?
contestant: asparagus

host: ilang metro mayroon sa 300 meters?
contestant: 3000

host: anong sasakyan ang gamit sa “tour de france”?
contestant: Kalesa

Host: ano ang kasunod ng kidlat?
contestant: sunog

host: saan matatagpuan ang Quebec?
contestant: afghanistan

host: tinuturo ang G-clef sa anong “M” na subject?
contestant: Mathematics

host: ano ang halaman na tumitiklop kapag ito’y nahawakan?
contestant: Hiya-hiya

host: ano ang itlog na ayon sa iba, nakakapagpatigas ng tuhod?
contestant: TAMA!

host: ano ang isinusuot ng taong walang buhok?
contestant: Kalbo

host: anong zip ang ginagamit sa pagbukas ng pantalon?
contestant: pagbukas ng bag

host: anong “D” ang first word sa stanza ng JIngle bells?
contestant: dyingel?

host: anong “H” ang tawag sa taong nagiisa?
contestant: home alone

host: Sa anong bansa nakatira ang mga Hindu?
contestant: hindunesia

host: kung ang ubo ay sa bibig, ano naman ang sa ilong?
contestant: Vicks

host: ano ang kulay ng strawberry?
contestant: ube

host: anong klaseng animal ang Afghan Hound?
contestant: Afghanistan

host: sinong American president ang nagkapolyo noong 1920’s
contestant: Apolinario Mabini..

BOB ONG KOWTS BOB ONG QUOTES

Adik ako kay Bob Ong. Simpleng banat. Pero tama ay hebigat.

Ilan lang ito sa mga paborito kong linya galing sa mga libro nya:


"nalaman kong hindi final exam ang passing rate ng buhay. hindi ito multiple choice, identification, true or false, enumeration or fill-in-the-blanks na sinasagutan kundi essay na isinusulat araw-araw. Huhusgahan ito hindi base sa kung tama o mali ang sagot, kundi base sa kung may kabuluhan ang mga isinulat o wala. Allowed ang erasures."

"...mas marami pa s'yang alam kesa sa nakasulat sa Transcript of Records n'ya, mas marami pa s'yang kayang gawin kesa sa nakalista sa resume n'ya, at mas mataas ang halaga n'ya kesa sa presyong nakasulat sa payslip n'ya tuwing sweldo."

"...madaming teacher sa labas ng eskwelahan. desisyon mo kung kanino ka magpapaturo."

"mag-aral maigi; kung titigil ka sa pag-aaral, manghihinayang ka sa pagtanda mo dahil hindi mo naranasan ang kakaibang ligayang dulot ng mga araw na walang pasok o suspendido ang klase o absent ang teacher."

"iba ang informal gramar sa mali!!!"

"Masama akong tao, tulad mo, sa parehong paraan na mabuti kang tao, tulad ko."

"kung kabayo gagawa ng libro mahirap maging palaging politically correct para sa mga damo"

"Wag magmadali sa pag-aasawa. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon sa hinaharap, mag-iiba pa ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong di pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang sa kaboses niya si Debbie Gibson o magaling mag-breakdance. Totoong mas importante ang kalooban ng tao higit anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan sa eskwelahan e nagmumukha ring pandesal. Maniwala ka."

"hikayAtin m0 LahAt ng kakilala m0 na mAgkaro0n kahit isA man lang paboritong libro sa bu0ng buhay nilA..dahil walA ng mas nakakaawa pa sa mga ta0ng literado per0 hindi nagbabAsa "

"kung paniniwalaan namin kayo na hindi naglaro ng tubig kahit na basa ang damit n'yo, kayo ang niloloko namin; hindi kayo ang nakapanloloko."

"dalawang dekada ka lang mag-aaral. kung 'di mo pagtityagaan, limang dekada ng kahirapan ang kapalit.sobrang luri. kung alam lang 'yan ng mga kabataan, sa pananaw ko ehh walang gugustuhing umiwas sa eskwela."

"Para san ba ang cellphone na may camera?Kung kailangan sa buhay un, dapat matagal na kong patay."

"ayokong nasasanay sa mga bagay na pwede namang wala sa buhay ko "

"iba ang walang ginagawa sa gumagawa ng wala"

"mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala"

"Titingnan mo ba ang basong kalahating bawas o kalahating puno?"

"hindi dahil sa hindi mo naiintindihan ang isang bagay ay kasinungalingan na ito. at hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohanan."

"bakit ba ayaw matulog ng mga bata sa tanghali, alam ba nilang pag natuto silang umibig e hindi na sila makakatulog kahit gusto nila?

"hindi lungkot o takot ang mahirap sa pag-iisa kundi ang pagtanggap na sa bilyon-bilyong tao sa mundo, wala man lang nakipaglaban upang makasama ka."

"Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!"


"hinahanap mo nga ba ako o ang kawalan ko?"

"Kumain ka na ng siopao na may palamang pusa o maglakad sa bubog nang nakayapak, pero wag na wag kang susubok mag-drugs. Kung hindi mo kayang umiwas, humingi ka ng tulong sa mga magulang mo dahil alam nila kung saan ang mga murang supplier at hindi ka nila iisahan."

"Mag-aral maigi. Kung titigil ka sa pag-aaral, manghihinayang ka pagtanda mo dahil hindi mo naranasan ang kakaibang ligayang dulot ng mga araw na walang pasok o suspendido ang klase o absent ang teacher. (Haaay, sarap!)."

"Mangarap ka at abutin mo. Wag mong sisihin ang sira mong pamilya, palpak mong syota, pilay mong tuta, o mga lumilipad na ipis. Kung may pagkukulang sa’yo mga magulang mo, pwde kang manisi at maging rebelde. Tumigil ka sa pag-aaral, mag-asawa ka, mag-drugs ka, magpakulay ka ng buhok sa kili-kili. Sa banding huli, ikaw din ang biktima. Rebeldeng walang napatunayan at bait sa sarili."

"Tuparin ang mga pangarap. Obligasyon mo yan sa sarili mo. Kung gusto mo mang kumain ng balde-baldeng lupa para malagay ka sa Guinness Book of World Records at maipagmalaki ng bansa natin, sige lang. Nosi balasi. wag mong pansinin ang sasabihin ng mga taong susubok humarang sa'yo. Kung hindi nagsumikap ang mga scientist noon, hindi pa rin tayo dapat nakatira sa jupiter ngayon. Pero hindi pa rin naman talaga tayo nakatira sa jupiter dahil nga hindi nagsumikap ang mga scientist noon. Kita mo yung moral lesson?"

"Nalaman kong marami palang libreng lecture sa mundo, ikaw ang gagawa ng syllabus. Maraming teacher sa labas ng eskuwelahan, desisyon mo kung kanino ka magpapaturo. Lahat tayo enrolled ngayon sa isang university, maraming subject na mahirap, pero dahil libre, ikaw ang talo kung nag-drop ka. Isa-isa tayong ga-graduate, iba't-ibang paraan. tanging diploma ay ang mga alaala ng kung ano mang tulong o pagmamahal ang iniwan natin sa mundong pinangarap nating baguhin minsan...""

"Sabi nila, sa kahit ano raw problema, isang tao lang ang makakatulong sa’yo – ang sarili mo. Tama sila. Isinuplong ako ng sarili ko. Kaya siguro namigay ng konsyensya ang Diyos, alam niyang hindi sa lahat ng oras e gumagana ang utak ng tao."

"Obligasyon kong maglayag, karapatan kong pumunta sa kung saan ko gusto, responsibilidad ko ang buhay ko."

"Nalaman kong habang lumalaki ka, maraming beses kang madadapa. Bumangon ka man ulit o hindi, magpapatuloy ang buhay, iikot ang mundo, at mauubos ang oras."

"Masama akong tao, tulad mo, sa parehong paraan na mabuti kang tao, tulad ko."

"Hikayatin mo lahat ng kakilala mo na magkaroon ng kahit isa man lang paboritong libro sa buhay nila. Dahil wala nang mas kawawa pa sa mga taong literado pero hindi nagbabasa."

"Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala."

"Pare, isa kang totoong tao at walang halong kasinungalingan.
In English, FACT you, pare. Totoo ka. In English, FACT you!"


**********

BAGONG LIBRO NI BOB ONG (2009)
dito po

**********
fight my brute:

http://kersipotpot.mybrute.com

********
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Friday, August 29, 2008

HARMONY

I rise from the dusk
and seek you restlessly.
Thirsting anew,
I streak through the moonlight
until i falter.
The nakedness of confusion seeps in
and nursed my being.

I lie on the grass
and look up at the stars.
The jewels on my palm
are weighed down
by my heart
throbbing here within.

I set miracles
to curl beneath my eyes,
to wrap in silence
and dissolve the curses
that made me cry.
The stench of truths
that ripped my sunrise
made me again anew
strong enough to
face struggles,
to arrive at a perfect view.

The legacy of dreams
harmonizes the
searing heart
that spills
over the recoil of memories
through his sleep.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

QUIETUS


I used to be stuck in front of the boob tube watching Korean films of great or tragic love stories. There's this film that really pinched my heart.. my tears slowly flowing from a trickle at the start of the story until it flowed out to a gushing well in its finale.The film is A Moment to Remember (2004), a Korean love story about the burden and loss caused by the girl's Alzheimer's disease.

I have also read stories about great love and survival. I found myself welling up with tears while i was plunging myself into Noah and Allie's world in The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks.

I have also read Erich Segal's Love Story as endorsed by a good friend Rodney.

All these stories are plotted out on a common theme, real love and survival in a relationship, a struggle with a partner who has a malady, and staying beside her till her last breath.

I haven't read Nicholas Sparks' A Walk to Remember nor watched its film. A friend advised me not to read or watch it if it would damn kill my happy cells.

These fictional stories hit me straight right where it should:
bafflement of pent-up emotions.

Just recently, i met someone who has undergone the tremors and pain of losing his beloved in a fight against an illness. I could not measure the depths of grief that i have felt upon knowing his story, it was as if i was sucked in a vortex of delusion. I take my hat off to him for staying beside her all through those difficult years, just as those brave men from the stories that i have read and watched.

Most of the times, those fiction and non-fictional stories make me wish that someone would as well stay beside me until my last breath. One who would take time to listen even to the echoes of my heart when i could no longer speak. One who would describe the beauty of surroundings when i could no longer see. One who would hold me, touch me, feel me when my senses are already numb. One who would sing to me the melodies of yesterdays when my memory couldn't serve me well.

I very well know my prognosis and what it would mean in the last and tender hours. Few people who have walked in my life promised to stay but didn't. I fear the pain that they will have to go through and so i understand their needs to walk out of my life. There are no words to express my sorrows for this, and I am sure I am at a loss for words. Perhaps, just perhaps, love will find a way to come back to me despite this affliction. Maybe, just maybe, in the presence of one of those brave men who's willing to hear the soft sounds of my slumber, as i finally lay myself into quietus.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

SOLITUDE

thy weariness had impelled me
in thine hour of secrecy
as silence moulds thy night
with remnants of thy misty strife.

i had been a solitary person
having a life of my own
dreams hath been a part of me
for i haven't seen a reality

this life accounts a world of chaos
one in which you cannot grasp
yesterday's thoughts had not vanished
and brought me these mystery of mysteries!

what more could thou have seen
when this life is nothing but a dream
thy soul shall find itself alone
in the loneliest hour thou hath known

SECLUSION


SECLUSION

In daylight and beauty of this day
my seared and blighted heart has known
your words had preyed the poet's heart
and took all colors out of dominion...

Eagerly i wished no morrow
vainly i sought a surcease of sorrow
for the heart whose woes are legion
you caress must fill its region...

what a solitude it compels
with no euphony of reminiscence
let it never foolishly said
that all my love for you was wasted...

leave no black plume as a token
of that lie you have vastly spoken
leave not my heart unbroken
emancipate me from the requiem...

sadly i am shorn of my strength
void of emotions yet undaunted
as i end up this day weak and weary
the poet's heart is in trances of solemnity...








Sunday, August 24, 2008

OH MY BOOKS


Shocked I really am to find my most precious possession being infested with termites :( Shown in the picture are some of my favorite books which have been partially eaten by those eusocial insects.

Ah, makes me wonder.

Maybe i haven't had much time browsing through the pages of those books. I was so consumed by the www world, i almost forgot my career as a bookworm :(

Good thing i was able to save at least my favorites. I had already thrown some pretty good titles and it really broke my heart seeing them fly open to the waste baskets.. along with the alive and kickin' termites.

I love books. I have spent almost all of my "college baon" just to have those books on my shelf. Long before i was hooked on ebooks and the complexities of www, i'd spent my whole Sunday rolling to and from my bed reading those books.

Oh my books.

They have been the silent witnesses to the echoes of my heart. A ready friend when im troubled, when i need someone to talk to. When i need a good laugh. When i need to slake the thirst for information. When i need to just... warm myself.. to relax.. to be inspired...

Long before i was hooked on ebooks and the complexities of www, i can't sleep without reading a few pages from one of my precious possessions.

Now i gotta get back to my own self and to my own shelf, before those termites decide to proclaim their second invasion.

DYING

DYING
five for fighting



I'm Dying, Dying to wake up without you, without you in my head again
I'm Dying, Dying to forget about you, that you ever lived
There's a shade come over this heart that's coping with laying down to rest
I'm Dying to live without you again

I'm Dying, Dying to find a distraction, get you away from me
I'm Dying, Dying to reach a conclusion, so that the world can see
It's the same old story of love and glory that broke before it bent
I'm Dying to live without you again

The first time you left I said goodbye
Now there's not a prayer that can survive

Dying, Dying to die just to come back so we can meet again
Dying, Dying to say what I always should have said
It's a strange emotion this but there's still hope in this
As long as there's a breath...
I'm Dying and I can't live without you again

It's a strange emotion this but there's still hope in this
As long as there's a breath...

I'm Dying and I can't live without you
I'm Dying and I can't live without you again...

Saturday, August 23, 2008

QUARANTINE

Still not feeling well today. My voice hasn't been completely restored.My throat is still irritated. And i haven't slept well also :(

I won't be attending the bowling practice later, nor the dinner with OSA friends.

Rest. Rest. Rest.

Physically and emotionally.

I had depleted my physical energy during last week's climb to the 811-meter above sea level Mt. Batulao.



360deg at the summit

A drop in my physical stamina constitutes a double increment in my happiness meter.. its impression still as fresh as yesterday as it bob up and down in gorgeous galore in my memory.

Weak as my body is my heart. Bombarded with emotional dilemma, i was feeling glummer for so many reasons.

Oohh la la.

It's really true that too much thinking robs you off your energy. I wish to round off those relationships around me that seem to have shaken my volcanic fury and ferocious reflex of vengeance.

HHhhmmmnnn...

For the meantime, I've to put myself in quarantine before i get vexed by insanity.

Friday, August 22, 2008

SEGAWA SAN

Hell it has been this morning. Just because a high-ranking visitor from Japan is coming, everyone had been so busy with everything they could pretend to be busy at. (At least they still look...busy :D )

My japanese boss had been pestering me already at exactly 7 in the morning. Haven't put on my socks nor arranged my things in the locker, he was asking me to do sooooooooooo many things at the monitoring board in the new 1600T Press LIne. Just before i left yesterday, i made sure that everything that they have requested had been done already, so come this morning there won't be any cramming to do or whatsoever. Apparently upon checking this morning, the board has been disarranged. Some just placed their reports illegitimately, without minding that someone has dutifully arranged it in accordance to my japanese boss' orders.

It must have been three rounds of remove-post-remove-post-remove-post.. GGgrrrr. Was i so annoyed already! Slowly i was turning into a nudnik, as the machine presses spews smoke and howls aloud while revving up. I was sweating in irritation..ggrrr.. i have to go back and forth from engineering to forge, then up and down the stairs for a couple of times to get the thing done.

Just an hour before the visitors arrive, we were done with the preparation. I noticed my temperature has risen a bit, i wasn't feeling well this morning. Maybe the countless sleepless nights had been consuming me already. Ahhh, rest i really must have.

Though sometimes, err, maybe most of the times my new Japanese boss annoys me, i look up to him with great admiration and respect. He has visions of a progressive environment, the one that is organized and disciplined in every nook and cranny of it. He is very keen on 5S practice, picks up every trash that his bionic and laser eye could detect. I love the way he gives compliments, one time last week he told me that i am very clever! (sa dami ng pinapagawa nya sa kin dapat lang bolahin nya ko!!! hehehe) Maybe "clever" is just his exxagerated word to describe someone who always follow his orders, do his requests and give in to his tantrums.(ahahaha) I admire most his desire for me to learn new things, to expand my horizons through in-depth analysis, to perform at my best and to be proactive in everything. Maybe im just not used to his insistency. He wants things done quickly, as soon as possible. Oh the lazy me. The disturbed me. Hahaha. The debilitated me. I wish i have enough energy to spare in order for me to perform at my best.

Right after lunch, my japanese boss approached me and offered Thanks. He slightly pat my back while i was stroked in front of my workstation, (yes, you guess it right, i was "symbianizing" and "meeboing" on a small window on the lower left corner, kaya po nagulat ako haha.)) He also thanked others who made the reports for the visitor presentation a cinch. Oh again, i love the way he acknowledges the efforts done by his team. I wish we had more like him. A little bit annoying, yet truly very inspiring :)

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Mt. Batulao: 6 years after




August 18, 2008

With all my muscles still trembling and aching, i plunged myself into the world of busyness here at work :D It was as if i had given birth to 12 puppies, i could barely inch forward, with all my muscles swelling but with pride and sheer joy after an ascent to the Batulao mountains.


My ever hyperactive OSA Servi friends have decided to conduct an adventurous seemingly insane bonding, a climb back to Mt. Batulao. After 6 years, back we are in this mountain, still alive and kicking, but with seemingly absurd nor advanced hyperactive thoughts that is ontological...epistemological... freaking weird!

"JOKO: Wala na tayong no choice."
"SWEET: Basta make sure para sigurado"
"Words from Concise JOVI's Dictionary: Balibol, Hiringgilya, Lapirot" "ARIS: Nipple Fight muna"
"AVEL: Traverse tayo sa Mt. Makulot next time."

We started off on the murky trail alongside the residential area. We were guided by Patrick, a 15-year old lad, who seem to have countlessly ascended to the summit of the mountain, but not on the peak of the supposed vertical measurement for his age. (ahaha, we love you Patrick!)


We trod the new trail, which was much dangerous and much difficult than the path we took six years ago.

We were faced with an avalanche of danger on the route, but the group was full of confidence drawn from the cheers and jeers that bind our eager spirits.


As our feet, tensed and cramped passed through the rim of a steep boulder, i then realized the life that i am holding...one wrong move, one wrong step, i will fall short to the grounds with all my bones broken.. with the life that i am holding taking its toll. It was altogether the most unsatisfactory feeling that i felt, with the fear adding up to our unprotected journey. ANd this is where the thought of death immediacy surfaced.


Friedrich Nietzsche says that the devotion of the greatest is to encounter risk and danger, and play dice for death. And true enough, death teaches us the value of life. It helps us sort our life priorities. "To put yourself into a situation where a mistake cannot necessarily be recouped, where the life you lose may be your own, clears the head wonderfully. It puts domestic problems back into proportion and adds an element of seriousness to your drab, routine life. Perhaps this is one reason why climbing has become increasingly hard as society has become increasingly, disproportionately, coddling." A. Alvarez , The Games Climbers Play

For that brief period, it dawned on me how directly i am responsible for my actions, for my own life.

What wondrous gains shall we reap upon reaching the summit?




bliss at the summit


The conquest indeed brings moments of bliss and exultations that no amount of material existence could bring. True enough, it poses a great deal of peril on us, but it is one of the tests that we must withstand for us to be worthy of rising for an instant above the state of crawling grubs.



"There is not the slightest prospect of any gain whatsoever. Oh, we may learn a little about the behavior of the human body at high altitudes, and possibly medical men may turn our observation to some account for the purposes of aviation. But otherwise nothing will come of it. We shall not bring back a single bit of gold or silver, not a gem, nor any coal or iron. We shall not find a single foot of earth that can be planted with crops to raise food. It's no use. So, if you cannot understand that there is something in man which responds to the challenge of this mountain and goes out to meet it, that the struggle is the struggle of life itself upward and forever upward, then you won't see why we go. What we get from this adventure is just sheer joy. And joy is, after all, the end of life. We do not live to eat and make money. We eat and make money to be able to enjoy life. That is what life means and what life is for." (George Leigh Mallory, 1922)


"What is above knows what is below, but what is below does not know what is above. One climbs, one sees. One descends, one sees no longer, but one has seen. There is an art of conducting oneself in the lower regions by the memory of what one saw higher up. When one can no longer see, one can at least still know."(Rene Daumal)






Come live with me, and be my love, And we will all the pleasures prove, That valleys, groves, hills, and fields, Woods, or steepy mountains yields. -- Christopher Marlowe


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Bliss

To wake up to a brand new day is bliss. The pain of yesterday's adieu had fueled me enough strength to move on, to remind me that i am just human and vulnerable to feelings of hurt and rejection. Some people hurt you because they are .... nuts. And i love nuts. Hahaahaha.

Kidding aside, my mornings always have a touch of bittersweet nostalgia and tension. Sweetest recollection of yesterday's laughter, and painful remembrance of sorrow etched in the scrapbook of my mind. What's in store for me today? Will i get another compliment from my boss? Will i be scolded for some jobs undone? Will i be receiving a pay today? Will i be cherished again and again by the love of my life? Will i be going back again to the home that i left yesterday? What's in store for me today?

Anyways, today, i commit myself to be happy with God's plan for me. Though His pat on my back seems like a whack in my nape, i am thankful that He always answers my prayer clearly though not always quickly.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

goodluck pillow

the other pillow is missing..
:(

INTERIM

Panandalian muna ang aking paglisan
sa bubong ng isa kong tahanan.
Para mas madali ang paghilom.
Para mas madali ang pag unawa.

Baka sa aking paglisan,
mas matagpuan ko ang katotohanan.

Ang katahimikan.

Ang kapayapaan.

Hindi lahat ng humahalakhak ay masaya.
Hindi lahat ng nakangiti ay naliligayahan.

Nababalot din ng palamuti ang mga wika.
Kahit na ang puso nito ay lubhang lumuluha.

Friday, August 15, 2008

NEW MORNING

New morning. Though a gloomy one, i have kept the sun inside my heart to shine in its brightest after a storm had passed through me yesterday.

How did i find myself in its lowest yesterday?

I made a Herculean effort of exposing myself to the vulnerabilities of rejection and acceptance.

Was i prepared for the outcome?

Partly yes, partly no.

Yes, i knew no one could ever accept someone like me after knowing every nook and cranny of my sufferings. This is my fate. How could i ever change this? God gave me this. I didn't want this to happen, i didn't want this. All i could do is accept what fate has brought me, and continue to breath each day a couple of notches better than yesterday. After all, maybe God really didn't want me to die the soonest, i haven't driven my car for a longer mile :D

No. Wasn't i prepared. I didn't expect someone to ran away from me the soonest. Could have done it real slow, little by little, inch by inch... I dunno. Well, why would i claim to have been unprepared when i would always prefer the heavy blow of truth.

"I'd rather you be mean than love and lie, I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye. I'd rather take a blow at least then i would know, but baby don't you break my heart slow" - Vonda Shepard's Baby don't you break my heart slow

Truth to be told.

Truth hurts.

Some people come into our lives and quietly go. Some people stay and leave footprints in our hearts and we are never the same. I am never the same as yesterday.

The tears that i shed yesterday were all for one thing: God allows suffering because He loves us. I may be in a lot of physical and emotional sufferings now, but i believe that in time, it will all be paid off by His blessings and goodness.

I'm still breathing. I'm still alive. Thank God.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

FLOWERS


a poem shared to me by qaiqai in response to my previous post:

I would rather have one little rose
from the garden of a friend
than to have the choices flower
when my stay on earth must end

I would rather have one word
in kindness said to me
than flattery when my heart is still
and life has cease to be

I would rather have one smile
from friends i know are true
than tears shed around my casket
when to this world i bid adieu

Bring me all your flowers today
whether its pink or white or red
I would rather have a blossom now
than a truckload when I'm dead.

DYING dying dying

Lois, you pushed away the one who LOVES you the most...me, regardless whether who you really are. You never game me a chance, never did. I hope you're happy. Take care always...

If telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth meant pushing someone away, i'd rather be a liar for the rest of my life.

Coz i'd never ever want to be alone for the rest of my limited existence.

I didn't push someone away. I just want them to see the real me. ... to go beyond the ordinary me... to reach out to the complexities of my existence.

I am no ordinary.

I am dying sooner than expected. My soul slowly shriveling away with my spirits soaring with laden wings...my last vestige of hopes deserting me little by little...

if sooner i'd be joining the ranks of the desperate, the hopeless, the forgotten... i would then harbor a bunch of sickos to add depravity and desperation to my existence...

for sooner than expected.. i am loosing myself in the process of accepting what fate has brought me...

that is boundless grief and anxiety that has to be let out...

Mt. Batulao

There's something special about hiking and trekking. It's not just spending time outdoors, but getting so far from civilization that you can't hear any cars or see any kotong cops. It's about finding a place to be entirely alone with nature, a special connection that you only get after splurging your visions with the wonders of nature and the miracles of heaven.

I am in.

Sunday will be our reunion with Mt. Batulao in Nasugbu, Batangas. The majestic view of its twin peaks resembles that of European Alps, though a much smaller version.


Even its name draws from a spectacular origin. Every yearend, the sun sets right between Batulao’s two peaks, creating an image of rocks surrounding a disc of red light. In Tagalog, this phenomenon of “Bato sa Ilao” (Illuminated Rocks) became abbreviated to “Batulao”. Although this happens only in the last week of December, Batulao’s charms throughout the year are more than enough to make it among the favored mountaineering destinations. (http://www.pinoymountaineer.com/2007/08/mt-batulao-811.html)

I have been to Mt. Batulao twice. The first in November 2002 with the OSA Servi group. When Sir Jovi told the group that we would be climbing our way to the top of Mt. Batulao, we were all excited. Little did we know that the trek would exhaust all our stamina. (yes, we weren't prepared)
The OSA Servi group before the trek

We thought that it would be just an ordinary walk in the park, as we brought our umbrellas and eyeglasses while wearing our kinkiest slippers out in the wilderness. We were laughing aloud while slowly noticing the scrapes on our skin brought by the swathe of talahib in the path. Later did we realize that we were in for a real adventure, and unprepared we were against the intense heat (not a single tree on some trails) The winds that make the cogon grasses dance to its beautiful waveforms accompanied us as we get sunburned in the trails that become more and more steep, our energy were almost drained even before reaching some higher grounds. Sir Jovi was telling us back then that those who were tired and wanted to get back may do so, but who, in their right minds, would resist the majestic view of Mt. Batulao. It was as if the mountain was speaking to us, telling us to come close near him, embrace the wondrous gift from the heaven, and extol to high heavens the beauty that the mountain has to offer.

As the group progressed peak by peak, we were slowly diminishing in numbers, some of them deciding to just rest under the shades of Talisay trees to recover energy. After gripping harder to climb an almost 90-degree ascent, we were able to reach peak8, and God twas so wonderful up there.. seeing God's bountiful creations, our eyes feasting on the superb gift God had showered us, the lush greens, fresh air, clear blue skies. Up there on Peak8, the group solemly prayed, offered thankfulness for my board exam passing, and for each of our personal concerns. What a blissful reward!

blissful reward at peak 8


My second time in Mt. Batulao was in April 2005. Summer had the grass all dried up, getting us even more scorched under the intense heat. The stones of the peak were fully exposed, small kaingin activities taking place here and there. I was left at Peak8 because i've no more energy for a higher and more steep ascent to peak9 and 10. I was with a group of friends, mountain climbing enthusiasts, who taught me a lot of things about mountain climbing, and shared their experiences. It was them who reminded me that in mountain climbing, one should "take nothing but pictures, kill nothing but time, leave nothing but footprints."

True enough, there's something special about hiking and trekking. Come 3rd Sunday of August, i will be reunited with the majestic Batulao mountain, and with my dearest friends who always make my life worth living.

Monday, August 11, 2008

AKALA

"Wag kang matakot na baka magkamali
Walang mapapala kung di ka magbakasakali
Dahil lumilipas ang oras, baka ka maiwanan
Kung hindi mo susubukan..."

-Akala by Parokya ni Edgar




Ang simple lang ng lyrics
. Pero nung minsang marinig ko ito, tinamaan ako.
Akalain mo un
:D

Saturday, August 9, 2008

MACRO TRIP

life's greatest pleasures are in simple things...






Wednesday, August 6, 2008

SKUSHNO

Wasn't able to sleep well last night, i have Skushno.

*****

I got this term "skushno" from Jessica Zafra's Twisted Universe. “Skushno is a Russian word that is difficult to translate. It means more than dreary boredom: a spiritual void that sucks you in like a bague but intensely urgent longing.” (Gregor von Rezzori)

Gggrrrr.
Gggrrrrr.
Ggggrrrrr.

Why do i always feel that someone's still thinking of me?

Really can't beat the shit in me. The Little devils lurking inside me have been pouring thoughts of illogical consequences of some of my unfinished businesses.

Tsk. tsk.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

OVER TRIGO AND GEOMETRY

Done with my Trigonometry and Geometry review class.

Was really very exhausted after 8 hours of lecture. And not just plain talks for that whole session, it felt like almost having a lump in my right armpit after scribbling all the diagrams, formulas and solutions to the discussed Math problems.

Aside from re injecting legions of formulas in their minds, I was also pushing them to reach beyond their own grasp, citing in them possibilities that they knew never existed. Should all of them be included in the topnotch list, i would be the first to extol the fruit of their hard labor to high heavens.

It then reminds me of my own review sessions back in 2002. I was relating to them my own experiences as a mech engg graduate who hankered for that board license. I was then studying real damn hard, for we barely had a centavo to spare.

I was urging them to discipline themselves and focus on their goals, one of which is passing the board exam, being apprised by the direness of their aspirations. And to ask God for divine providence and blessings, so that they will all be triumphant not only in the board exam but also in the real examination.. called life :)

*********

Icebreaker:

Student: Mam, Joke time muna tayo. ANo ang tawag sa anak ng Mantika?
Lois: ANo?
Student: BABY OIL.

(kwe-kwe-kwe-kweeeeeeeeeeekkkkk)


LOIS: Pano naman namatay si WOlverine?
Students: Pano?
LOIS: NANGULANGOT!

(kwe-kwe-kwe-kweeeeeeeeeeekkkkk)

Credit goes to Ady for this wolverine joke, hindi pa daw nila to alam =))
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